Earlier this year, I moved into a new house and putting aside a very long list of DIY projects I need to complete, acquiring new (to me) furniture is at the top of my priority list. I’ve been searching Craigslist Boston on a daily basis waiting for the perfect couch, dinning room table, bar, sofa table, coffee table, end tables and dressers to magically appear for sale. So far, the only luck I’ve had is a 7 piece dining room set that I scored for $200 including delivery to my house.
I’ve seen everything you can imagine in the Craigslist Boston furniture for sale section, but nothing has entertained me as much as this listing I just found. As a Patriots fan, I don’t want this couch, I need this couch. I’ll let the listing speak for itself…
New to Craiglist is my used leather couch with a pull out bed, that was purchased new from Jordan’s Furniture.
No rips in the leather and for a 10+ year old couch, it’s in excellent condition. Comes from a pet free home.
Before purchasing this piece of furniture from me, please be aware of the following:
-The couch is very comfortable, and it will make you want to watch 12 hours of football on Saturdays and Sundays in the Fall. If you’re married, and a homeowner, divorce will probably be eminent as you will not complete any tasks on your Honey Do List. I accept no responsibility for this.
-Boston sports teams are undefeated in championship games when watched on a television in front of this couch. I know a good luck charm when I see one, and the fact of the matter is that the Bruins, Celtics, and Patriots would each have another championship if I had opted to stay home instead of watching the games at a bar.
-I’ve had several mutli-million dollar ideas strike me while on this couch. Granted I’ve been too lazy to implement them, but this couch will probably pay for itself within a week of sitting on it. I won’t be surprised if Harvard or MIT wants to buy it to help out their students that seem to be lacking inspiration.
-You’re probably wondering if anyone famous has sat on this couch. The answer is no. However, several people that have met famous people have sat on this couch, so ipso facto, you can brag that the following people have sat on your new couch…
The late Senator Edward Kennedy
Bachelor Bob Guiney
The late Beano Cook
Dave “El Pres” Portnoy
This couch will give you a lifetime of name dropping, and don’t be surprised if people start coming by your house just to sit on the same couch that the guy who met Danny Trejo sat on.
How much does it cost for you to guarantee that the Patriots, Red Sox, Celtics, and Bruins win a championship every year, you become a millionaire, and you are able to impress and influence people with your list of friends from the world of sports, media, movies, television and politics?
A low, one time payment of $1,999 (or best offer).
You are absolutely stealing from me at this price, but I was told that if I sold this couch for what it’s really worth ($1,000,000), I’d then have to deal with looky-loos who just want to see and touch a used million dollar couch. It’s a burden I no longer wish to bear, which is why I’m making the sacrifice and passing it along to you for the low price of $1,999 (or best offer).
P.S. I put the couch up on Air BNB and in early September some guy rented it out for four weeks. He wouldn’t tell me his name but the thing is that he still owes me the four weeks rent and swore he’d be good for it once his boss let him start working again in October.
Well here we are in October, and I don’t have the money and I haven’t heard from him. I think he’s a big time hunter, because he mentioned that he’s planning on traveling the country and killing Bengals, Bills, Seahawks, Rams, Ravens, Broncos and Dolphins.
If you have any info on him so I can collect that rent it would be much appreciated and I can give you a discount on the couch. I’ve included a photo of him on the couch for your reference.