Lisa O
Some people go through life unaware of the weight their presence carries. They don’t notice the pause in a room after they speak or how their tone shifts the air. It isn’t intentional; it’s just a lack of noticing. Emotional intelligence isn’t about reading every emotion—it’s about paying attention to the ones right in front of you. And when someone doesn’t, you feel it in ways they never will.
They Interrupt Without Hearing
You start to say something, and they jump in halfway through, convinced they already know the ending. Their response is ready before you’ve even formed your point. It isn’t rudeness exactly—just a habit of hearing to reply instead of understanding. After a while, you let them talk. Your thoughts fade mid-sentence, replaced by the sound of their certainty filling the space where conversation used to be.
They Take Everything Personally
A passing remark can change their mood in seconds. You see it in the way their shoulders tense or how they suddenly go quiet. It doesn’t matter how harmless the comment was—they find insult hiding between the words. You start measuring tone and phrasing when you’re with them. Even laughter feels risky sometimes. Eventually, you learn it’s easier not to say anything at all in front of them.
They Struggle to Apologize
They hover near the right words but never reach them. Instead, you get explanations that sound like defence disguised as reason. Pride keeps them circling what should be simple. You can tell they feel bad—they can’t admit it out loud. So you let it slide, not because it’s fine, but because arguing over half-hearted regret feels worse than moving on.
They Overreact to Small Things
One offhand comment can flip the whole tone of a day. They tense up fast, eyes narrowing, voice sharper than before. It’s not always anger—sometimes it’s hurt they don’t know how to name. You start to feel like you’re walking through a house with creaky floors, tiptoeing around their moods. The smallest thing can echo loudly, and suddenly, peace feels fragile again.
They Miss the Mood in a Room
Something can shift—an awkward pause, a bit of heaviness—and they won’t catch it. They’ll keep talking, maybe even joke when quiet would’ve fit better. Everyone feels it except them. You see people exchange glances, waiting for them to notice, but people with low emotional intelligence will understand. They live above the surface where emotion moves quietly underneath.
They Turn Conversations Into Competitions
You start telling a story, something simple or personal, and they jump in halfway through with their own version. Somehow, theirs is longer, louder, and more dramatic. It’s not that they mean to compete—they can’t help turning connection into comparison. What could’ve been closeness becomes distance. You stop sharing after a while, realizing some people only listen for a chance to speak next.
They Blame Instead of Reflect
Nothing is ever their fault. Every setback finds a villain—the slow coworker, the unfair system, bad timing. They rewrite every story until it comes out untouched. You notice how easily they point fingers but never pause. Looking inward feels too uncomfortable. It’s easier to stay blind and safe than risk seeing the truth staring back at them. Growth never starts where blame lives.
They Avoid Emotional Conversations
When things get heavy, they fidget. They reach for their phone, change the subject, anything to dodge the moment. Feelings make them restless, like sitting in a room that’s too warm. You can sense the urge to escape in every glance toward the door. They don’t mean to seem cold. They just never learned that silence can sometimes be kindness.
They Struggle to Read Body Language
You lean back, cross your arms, or go quiet—and it doesn’t register. They miss the signs most people catch without words. Maybe they think you’re fine because you said you were. They live by literal meaning, not tone or gesture. It’s strange watching someone stand in the middle of a conversation and miss half of it happening right in front of them.
They Hold Grudges Long After Things End
Time passes, but their anger doesn’t. They still bring up moments you barely remember. It’s not about what happened anymore, it’s about how it made them feel—small, unseen, embarrassed. That sting stays alive long after the story’s over. You can hear it in their voice when they talk about it, sharper than they realize, proof that the past still owns them.
They Struggle With Empathy
They understand facts but not feelings. You tell them you’re overwhelmed, and they offer solutions instead of comfort. They mean well but miss the point. To them, fixing is caring. But real empathy doesn’t need tools—it requires patience. You can feel how quickly they retreat from emotion, like it’s something they were never taught to handle gently.
They Dominate Every Discussion
They talk over others, circle back to their own stories, and rarely pause long enough to ask questions. It’s not that they don’t care—it’s that they see dialogue as a stage, not a bridge. You can almost hear the rhythm of their monologue echo in the space between your words. After a while, you stop trying to squeeze yours in.
They Dismiss Other People’s Feelings
If someone’s upset, they’ll say it’s “not a big deal.” If someone’s hurt, they’ll say, “You’re too sensitive.” It’s their way of staying comfortable by shrinking someone else’s reality. They don’t mean to be cruel, but the impact is the same. You start questioning your own reactions, wondering if you might have made too much of it.
They Rarely Notice Their Own Tone
They think they’re being direct, but their voice lands sharply. Sarcasm slips out where empathy should be. You see confusion flash across their face when others flinch. They’re not aware of how they sound—just how they mean to sound. It’s a small gap, but it changes everything about how people receive them.
They Give Unsolicited Advice
You open up about something that’s been weighing on you, but before you can finish, they’re already fixing it. Try this. Do that. Download this. It comes out quick, like they’ve been waiting for a problem to solve. You didn’t need a plan—you needed someone to sit in it with you for a minute. Instead, the moment cools. You nod, pretend it helps, and change the topic.