When an acquaintance recently responded to my comment that life is good by stating that it’s easy for me to say that because “you’re beautiful,” I was decidedly not flattered. Had she said to me in general that I’m beautiful, I would have loved hearing that. However, her manner was accusatory, hateful and very hurtful. At first I thought I was just being sensitive, but those standing there when the comment was made agreed that it sounded less than complimentary and more like an insult. While science does tell us that life is a bit easier when you are attractive, that doesn’t mean that all you have to do to have a good life is look good; however, it helps (some of us also work very hard, go above and beyond and choose to be happy and grateful, which are things that make a difference). So, let’s take a look at what science says are proven ways we can all make ourselves more attractive.
Play it Stupid
This kills me; I mean, it really kills me. I don’t even want to write this. I don’t want to encourage anyone, man or woman, adult or child, to ever play stupid (unless playing stupid will save your life, then go for it). However, science tells us that if you are a woman and all you one from the evening is someone to take home with you for one night and one night only, you will need to come across as silly and flighty. Apparently, men like this in a one-night stand. Apparently, the only men who want to take you home when you’re your usual smart, intelligent and witty self are those who want long-term relationships with you – so this one is a personal choice.
Smile (if you are a woman)
Science states that women should smile more often. Men find this to be a very attractive quality in a woman. Additionally, other women find it very difficult not to like a woman who smiles a lot, especially when it’s a sincere smile that also reaches her eyes. So, go ahead and find something to be happy about, because happy people are more attractive.
Brood (if you are a man)
Men, when you take a few moments to look dark and you brood, women cannot help themselves. Now, I’m going to disagree with this one but I’m also not all the scientific people used in this study, so that might just be me. Women apparently love a man who looks as if he broods quite regularly.
Maintain White Teeth
Well, that’s a basic equation. A beautiful smile is more beautiful when it shows off pearly whites. I’m not asking for perfection here, but I don’t want to see your cigarette-stained teeth when you smile at me. That’s a turn off and I’m not interested in that one. Apparently, no one else is interested in that one, either, so you’re going to want to work on that.
Eat a Healthy Diet
Healthy people just look better as a whole. When you take care of yourself, it shows all over your body. You look well rested, happy and your skin glows. You look fitter and happier, and we all love a woman who looks good and feels good about herself. Eating well can improve your confidence, which can easily change the way you look and feel about yourself as a whole.
Raise Your Pitch
Ladies, this one is for you. When you are speaking to a man, raise your voice an octave or two so that you sound a bit more high-pitched than usual. There is something about this tone that makes men find you more attractive, perhaps because it sounds a bit more feminine that a smokier voice. However, we don’t recommend that you use this voice in the office or you’ll drive your coworkers crazy.
Men, for you; take a deep breath and relax. Women like a man who seems confident and sexy, secure and relaxed. Men who seem uptight, on edge or a little bit wound are not the ones women want to find themselves with. Why? Probably because we are all of those things on a regular basis and it does better for us to find a man who is a bit more relaxed and laid-back to even us out.
Shave Your Beard
I concur with this scientifically proven point; men, you look shaggy, lazy and not handsome with beards all over the place. Get a razor and get rid of it. You don’t have to for a baby face, but go for something shorter and well-maintained. I’m going to be honest here (and I can already read the hate mail) by saying that beards and unruly facial hair on a man immediately bring me to the conclusion that he lives with his mother, has no job and probably doesn’t bathe regularly.
Play Hard to Get
Not you, ladies. When a man finds you a bit hard to get, he is more likely to move on and find someone else who is a little bit easier to get. However, men, this one is for you. If you want a woman to find you more attractive, don’t play all your cards at once. Show her you are hard to get and watch her as she comes crawling to you. Now, ladies, this is for you; find a nice man who loves you and doesn’t make you feel unwanted.
Wear Red Lipstick
Men love red lipstick – except the ones we are married to. I wear red lipstick all day, every day, and my husband hates it. He feels, on one hand, that I look chic and elegant and sexy, but on the other hand he does not want to kiss me when I have red lips. Since it’s good lipstick, it doesn’t wear off and he has to wear it all day long if I kiss him wearing it as he leaves for work. Not his favorite, at all.
Forgo Small Talk
We all have to make small talk here and there. It’s a fact of life. However, it’s not something that makes you seem more attractive. If you want others to find you more attractive, go ahead and skip the small talk and get right to the good stuff. Whether it’s quantum physics (or not, because, boring) or sports, skip the small talk and talk about something deep and meaningful…or fun.
Learn to Love Roller Coasters
According to a recent study as reported by The Daily Mail, people who ride roller coasters together seem to find one another more attractive. So, if you are into someone and they are not as seemingly interested in you, perhaps you should take them to ride a roller coaster and do some riding.
Get Some Friends
There is something inherently attractive about people who have a lot of friends. Those who have a friends group that is small but tight or big and tight – doesn’t matter – are far more attractive than people who choose to spend their time alone. It might say to those who are getting to know you that perhaps you have some sort of personality flaw that makes it difficult for others to want to spend more time with you.
Don’t be a Follower
No one likes a follower or a crowd pleaser. What we all love is a natural leader, so be one. People are far more attractive when they show that they are leaders than they are when they show that they are a follower. Do not be afraid to take the reign and show some control. When people cannot make a decision, make the decision. When someone needs to take over, take over. It’s more attractive.
Be a Comedian
We don’t expect you to turn into the next Vince Vaughn or Ellen DeGeneres, but it is a scientifically proven fact that men and women both consider funny people to be more attractive. This is something I feel is the absolute truth; the more hilarious you are, the more I like you. This applies to more than just romantic attraction, too.
When you are just nice, you come across as a more attractive to other people. You know that old saying that beauty is actually on the inside? You can be the most beautiful person in the world physically but if you are ugly on the inside, no one will care how pretty you are on the outside. That’s why we all love a kind, nice person more than any other type of person. Go ahead and try it; you might be surprised how good it feels to be nice.
Happy people are far more attractive than people who are not happy. There is just something about the people who are genuinely happy with their lives that the rest of us find so wonderful. Happy people are contagious. After all, there is s saying that you become like the five people with whom you spend the most time. It would make sense that happy people top the list.
If you want to become more attractive to people, be positive. Don’t be annoying about your positivity (such as telling someone who has terminal brain cancer that if they think positively that they will live), but be positive. Find the positive in situations when you might not want to go that route. Don’t complain; don’t be rude and just be happy in life. No one likes a person who spends all their time complaining, so don’t be that person.
We all like people who are just themselves. I’ll tell you that after meeting a new woman with whom I thought I could be friends, I was saddened to realize that she changed her entire personality to seem more like me, and I felt that was a turn off. If I say I have something, she has it, too. If I say that my kids did this, her kids did it, too. If I post a photo of a glass of wine, she immediately goes out and buys it and posts a photo of it at home – even though she told me when we first met that she doesn’t drink and has never been a drinker. Just be yourself; I already hang out with me every day, you know?
Get a Dog
Dog owners come across as more trustworthy, down-to-earth and cool than people who do not own a dog. For some reason, those who view dog owners as better people are probably thinking that if a dog loves you, you must be pretty lovable. There is something pretty magical about owning a dog, so go ahead and try it and watch as you become more attractive.