
Getting married is a milestone for many men and women. It is a major life change and requires a lot of work from both parties. So, in this transitionary period, when we interact with newlyweds, we have to be careful with our words. Some things we say, even with good intentions, may easily be interpreted to mean something else and come off as hurtful. Here are some things you may want to avoid saying to them.
“When are you having kids?”

Today, not many couples go from a wedding straight to having a baby. They may have married just for companionship and planned never to have kids or focus on other things before considering having children. It is possible they may already be fighting pressure from their parents or other people who expect them to have kids.
“When are you having kids?” (Contn’d)
This question can put pressure on them. In some cases, they may have fertility issues that they wouldn’t want to be reminded about. Your question can bring up the hurt they already feel. You should allow the couple to focus on their new life and have babies whenever they choose to.
“How much did the wedding cost?”

Not everyone loves to talk about their financial choices. A couple may have gone overboard with finances and feel people will judge them if they tell them how much they spent. They may have spent little and think others will look down on them. This question puts the couple in a tough spot.
“Enjoy the honeymoon phase while it lasts.”

When you say this, it’s like you are guaranteeing the couple that the excitement they feel over being joined in marriage is fleeting and will end after the honeymoon. Promising hardship in a marriage is never a nice thing to say, and it’s even worse when it’s still new.
“Marriage is hard work.”

This statement is true, but it may not be what newlyweds want to hear immediately after their wedding. It can dampen their excitement and optimism about their future together, so instead of saying this, why not say something more positive and encouraging, like a wish to overcome every challenge marriage brings?
“I give it a year.”

By saying this, you may be suggesting that the couple isn’t going to work to sustain their marriage or that, no matter what they do, the marriage won’t survive for long. Even if their marriage may end someday, let it play out by itself and in its own time. They don’t need a prediction from you.
“You’re going to miss being single.”

Getting married to the right person is not a mistake, but when this is said, it sounds like the person has made a mistake. Your statement may be informed by stories of people who, after marriage, stopped enjoying their lives, but that doesn’t mean it will be the same for this new couple.
“You’re going to miss being single.” (Contn’d)
In some cases, you see the way some married people live, and because it’s not what you consider interesting, you make this statement assuming they’ll be bored in marriage. However, some people love and enjoy their marriages so much that they won’t consider being single again, even for a second.
“I didn’t get an invite.”

As much as people may want all their friends to be at their wedding, little mistakes happen, and they may forget to send a personal invite to some people. It doesn’t mean they don’t value you. We all make mistakes. Calling them out on this mistake can make them feel bad.
“I didn’t get an invite.” (Contn’d)
Also, budget limitations and a lack of excess venue space may have made the couple accommodate only a few guests, who may have been family members and close friends. That’s fine, too. You may want to think of that before making them feel awkward.
“You’ve changed since you got married.”

Marriage may bring changes, and that’s fine. It’s likely the person who chose to get married knew about these changes yet went ahead. This statement makes it feel like you’re judging their decision—one which makes them happy and one they hope you will celebrate with them.
“You’ve changed since you got married.” (Contn’d)
Saying they’ve changed can be in two contexts—a positive change or a negative change. If it’s a positive change, they may take it to mean that they weren’t great people before marriage, which is offensive. If it’s a negative change, they may interpret it as you saying their marriage is bad for them.
“Marriage won’t solve your problems.”

Everyone knows that marriage is not a solution for everything. As a matter of fact, it’s not even a solution to anything, just like being single is not a problem but a phase of life to enjoy. Saying this feels like you’re criticizing them for having an assumption about marriage they probably never had.
“I hope your spouse is okay with this.”

Even when married, people can still make decisions independently of their partner. Don’t diminish someone’s individuality by tying their actions to what their partner is okay with. This may also come off as you telling them their partner is insecure, and not many people will find that funny.
“I hope you’re ready for in-law drama.”

Unlike some people who fight with their in-laws on almost everything, some people have great relationships with their in-laws. People who already know that their in-laws are nice and understanding may not smile at the idea of painting them as problematic people.
“I can’t believe you married him/her!”

This is another statement that goes both ways. It may mean that the person married someone of a higher class than them, and it’s hard to believe they could achieve that. Conversely, it may mean their partner is not good enough for them, and marrying them was a step down.
“Did you sign a prenup?”

A prenup is a sensitive topic, and many couples would rather keep this detail to themselves. One reason for this is because of the notion that people who do prenups don’t trust each other. Asking them about it may feel like you’re poking, and it could make them feel uncomfortable.
“Are you sure you did the right thing?”

While some people go into marriage with full conviction that they’re making the best decision, some have their fears, yet they decide to do it anyway. When you critically ask this question, it can be like you’re also doubting this union, making them double down on their fears.
“Are you sure you did the right thing?” (Contn’d)
It could also sound like you know something about their partner that you haven’t told them; hence, you’re asking out of concern. This can be confusing. You may want to leave them to enjoy their marriage without making them feel like they could have been better off without it.
“I never thought you’d settle down.”

Expressing surprise at their ability and willingness to settle down can be condescending. They may take it to mean that you are critical of their pre-wedding lifestyle and didn’t see them as marriage material. No one likes being judged, and this statement makes them feel that way.
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