20 Things Northerners Want Southerners to Get Over Already

There is something to be said about the south, and not just because being a lifelong Floridian has made me an honorary Southerner (no, really, we are farther south than all southerners, but the “south” ends at the Florida/Georgia border). Southerners have fun accents, they have a language all their own, and sometimes they make northerners completely crazy. In fact, northerners sometimes wish that their southern counterparts would just get over it already. There’s a lot to love about the south, being here, growing up here and all that it has to offer, but there are also things that just annoy those not from around here. So what it is that northerners with that southerners would just get over already? I had to ask around and get some help from actual northerners on this one, but here you go.

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Saying Bless Your Heart

Some people love it and other people feel that it’s just a little annoying. It’s a saying that many southerners use and it sounds amazing. But the truth is that when people say this, it’s usually because they are trying to be polite. In fact, we often say “Bless your heart,” as a way of saying, “Oh my goodness, you are just a crazy person and you’re not at all the kind of person we want around.” Of course, that’s not true of everyone, but it is the general consensus.

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Ya’ll Aren’t from ‘Round Here, Are You?

I’m going to say that as a kind of southern southerner, most of the things on this list do not bother me, but it’s all right. Saying this is kind of a way for southerners to point out that you are a stranger in their land. Many northerners take this the wrong way, assuming that the person uttering this sentence is trying to make them feel bad about being from elsewhere. It’s not always meant to be rude, but we do kind of feel bad for people not brought up in this lifestyle – it’s amazing.

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Only Northerners Have Accents

We know we have an accent, but we hear it each and every day and therefore we don’t notice. But when someone not from the south comes ‘round, it’s very obvious and it’s a lot of fun. People from the south love to hear a northerner speak, and it can sometimes be a bit annoying and wearing. Especially when you consider the fact that we all just have such a difficult time understanding people with a different accent, and it has nothing to do with being from either place specifically.

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Wearing Ugg Boots with Skirts in July

Okay, I’m on board with this one. This is the worst fashion statement ever. In fact, it’s a statement that no one should ever make, it’s just that bad. There is no reason that anyone should wear these boots with a skirt or shorts or anytime other than in the midst of winter on the walk to work so that they don’t ruin their actual shoes in the horrid weather. That’s not just the opinion I have, either. It’s the opinion of everyone.

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Wearing a Jacket in the Dark in July

I never noticed it, but it’s the truth. The sun goes down and the temperature drops below 85 and suddenly we are all in a little jacket or something to cover our arms because we are just cold. Northerners can get away with wearing nothing but a sleeveless shirt and shorts when the weather is half what we can stand and no one thinks twice. But you know, when the coldest weather you deal with is in the 60s, you can be a little cold at times.

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Wearing Hoodies and Flip Flops

All right; when you live somewhere with weather like this in the south, you’re just so comfortable when you’re arms are covered. It is just how we roll around here. I mean, let’s be honest in saying that as long as it’s between 10 am and 6 pm, people will be happy in shorts and tees but anytime before and after that means it is absolutely time to put on the sweatshirt. It’s a southern thing that we can’t get over no matter how much we try.

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College Football

People everywhere love college football, but not quite so much as the people in the SEC. We count football season as a holiday, prepare for months and begin counting down as soon as the bowl game is over in January. The season cannot come fast enough and it officially brings about the ‘fall’ season as we like to call it, even though we don’t actually have a fall in many places in the south. It might still be 90 degrees, but it’s fall.

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Freezing Below 70

It’s just cold when it’s not 70. Some people in the north feel that anything above 50 is comfortable, but anything below 70 is just freezing for us. It’s winter weather and it’s not often that we get lower than that down here. There are some southern states that are a bit cooler, but where I’m from temperatures below 70 degrees are few and far between, and we are just plain old cold. Take the humidity out of the air and it’s like an Arctic blast.

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The Confederate Flag

Well, we get this one. We don’t see that many of them around here in Florida, but this particular flag can be quite prevalent in other areas along the south. It’s not something that many people approve of as it’s got a meaning and a stigma that make people quite uncomfortable. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that the people in the south should just be proud of their country and its flag and leave the confederate flag elsewhere. It’s not usually meant to mean anything other than hatred for most.

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Freezing Temps

Freezing temperatures are a big deal in the south. We don’t get them often, so it’s a big deal. Kind of the way in which a hurricane is a big deal to the people in the north; southerners aren’t sure how to handle snow or temperatures that leave ice on their vehicles. It can debilitate us and we can’t just get over it. Our homes, bodies and lives are not meant for this. You guys evacuate for a category 2 hurricane and we throw a hurricane party, so there’s your difference.

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Sweet Tea and Front Porches

There is not a thing wrong with a sweet tea and a front porch. We call it front porch rockin’ and we love it. A big front porch is what it’s all about down here, and most people love sweet tea. I’m not a tea drinker, so I’ll pour a glass of wine or a cup of coffee and enjoy some front porch rockin’ and hope  that the people from the north get on down here and enjoy a humid evening with pink and blue skies, beautiful ocean views and lush greenery so beautiful you just can’t stop.

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Referring to the Carolinas as North

Southerners have a terrible sense of direction. Not only can most of us not give directions, we can’t tell them either. North Carolina is far north for me, but it’s still the south. And it’s so funny to hear southerners saying they’re going up north for a week to enjoy the winter and they actually just head up to the Blue Ridge Mountains in Georgia for a few days to relax in a rented cabin or their winter home.

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Being Scared of the Big City

This is one that really is so annoying to northerners. It’s like when I go to NYC on date night with my husband and people say to us, “Ya’ll are so brave to go to the big city like that. I’d be so scared,” and we look at them like they’re nuts. Sure, we’re from the south, but we are not country bumpkins. That doesn’t mean other people aren’t, but we have our own big cities down here and it’s not all that different if you really think about it.

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Praying for People

There is nothing wrong with praying for people, but it’s easy to see how northerners might find it a bit obnoxious coming from southerners. We pray about EVERYTHING and we aren’t afraid to say it. We love our Jesus and we praise him and sing about him and we pray to him every which way, but we also tell you we’re going to do it. You have a big job interview? I’m prayin’ for you, darlin’. You have a plane to catch? I’m prayin’ for you and for safe travels, darlin’. And that’s just how we do.

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Saying, “Well, isn’t that….”

In all fairness, northerners are right about this one. Southerners do use this phrase with frequency and we are not always nice about it. In fact, it’s a go to insult. “Well, isn’t that just darlin’ (sweet, wonderful, fantastic, excitin’, enter your own veiled insult of choice here)”. We don’t say it because we mean it, either. We say it because we are trying to be polite even though we actually do not care in the least what it is that you have to say about whatever you’re saying.

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Saying That is Darlin’

Some things are darling. Some things are not. But we will tell you that something in your life is just darlin’ so that we sound polite and engaged and in awe. It’s just another slightly veiled insult on most fronts, and it’s not really fooling anyone, but it’s still what we say because we are a polite bunch of people who just need to be polite while still being rude. And let’s be clear; when a southerner tells you that your baby is precious, it’s not a good thing. Precious is not good down here – know that.

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Butter

Paula Deen says it best and we don’t argue about it. Butta is a life choice around here. It’s bad for us and it’s delicious. We use butter in everything from our veggies to our breakfast foods. Butter is something we use around here like most people use water in their own homes. It’s actually kind of like water; it runs through our veins. And northerners are right; we need to get over it. It’s making us fat and killing us in a way we can’t even begin to make sound worse.

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Using Ya’ll

I don’t even use this phrase, and it drives me nuts when other people do. I can’t stand the word despite the fact that I hear it a thousand times a day. My kids don’t say it, my husband doesn’t say it; and we just don’t use the word. Maybe it’s my English background and my need for grammar-control, but the world is a killer and it should be banned from existence. But you have to admit it’s cute when Reese Witherspoon uses it. Then again, everything she does is cute.

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Using God as an Excuse Everywhere

Southerners are notoriously religious (some honestly and some for looks) and we use Jesus’ name and God a lot. But we also use it as an excuse and it’s not all that nice. We might say “God Bless” to someone in a way that’s not nice. We might say, “Praise Jesus,” when a slow driver turns and we can speed up. It’s not always appropriate to praise Jesus when you realize that you do have another bottle of wine in the bar when you thought you were out, but we do.

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Referring to People as a Real Peach

What we mean is a five letter word that does end with a “ch” but it begins with a bit. When someone refers to you as a real peach, it’s just the elegant southern way of telling you that you are a you-know-what and that you can shove it. It’s one of the biggest insults around here and it’s not nice. You might think it’s cute, but it’s not. If someone calls you this, you might want to stand up for yourself.

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