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20 Reasons To Never Live In San Francisco

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San Francisco; home of the Golden Gate Bridge, a lot of fog and street trolleys. The city is gorgeous and it’s beautiful and it’s what dreams are made of, so you are clearly going to hate calling it home. After all, who wants to live near that much culture, have that much selection and be that close to so much water? Who wants beautiful weather and great food and amazing shopping and who wants to live so close to wine country? No one; it’s miserable. And that’s just one of the reasons you don’t want to live in San Francisco, ever.

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Bay Area

Gorgeous Weather

People hate nice weather, and it’s just the truth. I mean, I remember being in San Francisco in March and it was 75 degrees and people were all over the beach, enjoying their days outside in the beautiful weather and completely taking advantage of all the day had to offer. Who wants that kind of stress and unhappiness in their lives? I mean, we ditched Florida for a few days to get away from the gorgeous weather.

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Great Food

There is nothing worse than having an endless supply of amazing food to make your days bright and happy. You don’t feel like cooking? Why not go out or have something delivered right to your front door? You only have some of the most amazing food in the world to enjoy at your beck and call and on just about every street corner, so why would you want to live here and enjoy that?

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San Francisco

Beautiful Views

There are few things in life more annoying that a gorgeous view. Every time my husband and I make the trip to San Fran, we have brunch at the Cliff House right on top of the ocean and we are just horrified by the blue sky, the crashing waves and the beautiful breeze on the walk up. It’s completely miserable, and the endless mimosas with brunch really do nothing to brighten our mood and make us feel good.

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Lovely Beaches

Dogs running, kids laughing, people enjoying the sun and catching Frisbees and having a good time; it’s totally a waste of a day. Who wants to bother with that kind of behavior and that kind of stress when there are so many other things that they could do going on around there. I mean, no one really wants to bother with this kind of beautiful weather and this kind of happiness on a regular basis. Too overrated and too much work.

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San Francisco

Amazing Parks

San Fran is known for having some of the most beautiful parks in the world, which makes it a great place to run, walk, picnic with the family, play with the dogs and have a great time. But who wants to do that with everyone else in the city? Parks are nature and who likes being outside in nature enjoying fresh air and happy memories with the kids. What a waste of time. No one wants to live in a city where the parks are so amazing.

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Wine Country

Each time we visit the city we spend a few days drinking our way through Napa and Sonoma, dining at the amazing restaurants there and enjoying ourselves immensely. Of course, it’s terrible for our liver and our wallets to have to hire a limo so frequently, so you definitely don’t want to live here. I mean, paying a small fee to drink all the wine in the world and taste at least one glass (because no one I know is swishing and spitting, people) before they all start to taste the same, it’s so overrated. It’s the worst way to spend the day. It’s so bad for your liver – but so good.

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Redwood Forests

There’s something uniquely cool about getting to live next to something so amazing. Not many people across the US have any idea what it looks like to see a tree so big that you can drive through it, but the people in San Fran can do it in a day or less. There are so many beautiful redwood forests nearby and it’s a wonderful adventure, something you have to see at least once in your life. But who likes experience, travel and culture? No one. You don’t want to live here.

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San Francisco

Bikes

If you love to bike, you’re going to hate San Francisco. It’s perfect for bikers. There are so many trails, so many parks and so many beautiful views you can take advantage of, and it’s just ridiculous. Who wants that much exercise and good health, anyway? It’s totally overrated and there is no reason you should live in a city in which you will feel good, look good and probably prolong your life by a few years because of all the exercise you’re getting. What a crappy reason to move here.

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San Francisco

Street Cars

Trolleys are cool, but who cares? I mean, it’s just something you don’t see in, well, just about any other city in the country. I mean, San Francisco is one of the only cities in the country that has street cars, but who cares? Who cares about things like history and experience and beauty and all that? We didn’t come here to ride a trolley around this beautiful city and explore things we’ve never seen. Who does that?

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Fresh Seafood

What a drag. I hate when I go to San Francisco and have to order fresh oysters on the half shell and then eat them all myself because my husband doesn’t care for them. And it’s even worse when I have to follow that up with a piece of fresh fish caught that day and brought into local restaurants still fresh and amazing. I mean, gross. Who wants to eat fresh seafood all the time? Wouldn’t you rather eat yours frozen in a bag from the supermarket for ages and ages?

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So Many Amazing People

A city filled with people from different backgrounds, cultures, ethnicities and lifestyles is a great way to learn more about the world and become experienced in many different cultures. But who wants to be cultured? It’s only going to teach you things and make you more likely to experience things that aren’t like anything else you’ve ever experienced, and it’s only going to make you more worldly and knowledgeable. That’s not worth it.

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San Francisco Skyline

Great Job Market

Of all the cities in the country, San Francisco has one of the best job markets. It’s close to silicon valley which means there are plenty of high-tech opportunities, and it’s really just a remarkable and beautiful location. People love to go here and visit, and they love to be able to do things that they might not have done otherwise in terms of their careers and where they will go in life. There’s so much here in terms of job offerings, and it’s one of the cities that has the best income in the country in many industries. But that’s no real reason to live here.

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Lots of Singles

There are a lot of single people in San Francisco, which is absolutely amazing if you’re single and looking to mingle. But if you’re in the market for a spouse and kids and a family, you’re wasting your time in this city filled with young, single, successful people who want to meet you and have the same experiences and see the same things as you. You’d be better off applying for a position on The Bachelor in hopes of meeting someone than in a city filled with eligible bachelors and bachelorettes.

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Comfortable Summers

As a Floridian, I can tell you that there is nothing more amazing than literally sweating through summer. If we forget to park in the garage and have to walk the 30 feet to the car outside the garage door, we instantly need another shower and a new outfit because we are drenched. We sweat, we pay enormously to stay cool in our homes and we are mostly miserable for months. So why would you want to skip that to go to San Francisco and live where the summers are notoriously cool and comfortable and enjoyable? Who wants to actually like the weather where they live?

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San Francisco

It’s the Happiest City in the Country

San Francisco has been voted the happiest city in the country several times, and that’s awful. Who wants to be happy? We aren’t here to be happy. We are here to complain and whine and be miserable all the time, so why would anyone want to bother living in a city in which they might have to take a chance on being happy and enjoying their lives? Doesn’t that just sound completely miserable and awful and totally overrated in so many ways? I’d rather pass and not have to suffer through that kind of happy life.

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It’s Great for Dog Owners

Dog owners love living in San Francisco because it’s such a wonderful city. It’s perfect for walking dogs, for going to the park and for dog parks. That’s just something people who own these lovely animals appreciate more than many other things in life. But who wants to bother with that? I mean, there are so many other things that people could do in the area and owning a dog that they enjoy spending time with is so overrated. I mean, dogs only help you live with less stress, have more happiness and enjoy life a little more. What’s the fun in that?

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San Francisco Skyline

There’s Always Something to Do

There is literally always something to do in San Francisco. There is never a moment in which you will be bored living around here, which is why so many people choose to live here. But if you like to be bored and you like to complain that there is nothing interesting to do or see or experience, you are not going to like it here at all. There’s just too much entertainment and happiness in this city to make you feel comfortable living here. So you might want to choose another city if you don’t like being busy.

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Beautiful Sunsets

Since it’s on the west coast and the sun does set in the west, some would say there are no sunsets more beautiful that the ones in California, including San Francisco. There are so many things, though, that I’m sure you’d rather do than enjoy a beautiful sunset on the beach, or in a restaurant on the beach with someone you love, a great meal and a great cocktail. No one wants to have that kind of experience anytime they want. Sunsets, after all, aren’t that pretty. They really only turn the sun a different color, reflect off the ocean and turn the sky a number of gorgeous colors. That’s so boring.

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Amazing Culture

There is so much culture in San Francisco you can literally go a few blocks down any street and experience food, music and people you are not familiar with at all. It’s a great way to learn about other cultures, make sure your kids understand differences and get to experience new things. But it’s not worth it. I mean, who wants to learn and experience and enjoy things from around the world from different cultures? That would be like education and we all know that no one wants one of those. Culture is overrated and you don’t need it to be successful or anything.

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Gorgeous People  

There’s no better place to live and work and people-watch than San Francsico. The people here are friendly more often than not, they are all so different and it just makes you remember with ease that being yourself is so important. But who wants to live somewhere in which the people don’t look exactly alike, dress the same and make everyone else feel that they have to conform to standards of the norm? I mean, who wants their kids to learn that everyone is different and that all people are not created equal? Individuality and creativity are certainly overrated.

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Written by Tiffany Raiford