Lisa O
In a healthy relationship, your partner should always bring out the best in you, not make you feel smaller or trapped. Love should feel supportive and secure. If someone truly cares for you, they’ll never pressure you to cross certain lines. These are 15 things your partner should never ask of you, no matter what.
Change Your Personality to Please Them
It’s one thing to grow together, but it’s another thing when your partner tries to change who you are. If they want you to act more outgoing, tone yourself down, or behave like someone you’re not, that’s not love—it’s control. You should never feel like you have to edit your true self just to keep the relationship going.
Cut Ties with Friends or Family Without Good Reason
If your partner tells you to stop talking to a friend or family member just because they don’t like them, it’s a warning sign. A supportive partner doesn’t isolate you from people who care about you. Unless someone truly harms your well-being, your relationships with others should be respected. Love doesn’t require you to disconnect from your support system.
Lie to Cover Up Their Mistakes
A partner who truly respects you won’t ask you to lie for them, even if it’s something small. Whether it’s lying about where they were or hiding something from someone else, they shouldn’t put you in that position. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean sacrificing your honesty and you shouldn’t carry their secrets or feel responsible for keeping their image clean.
Give Up Your Career or Dreams for Their Comfort
If your partner asks you to stop pursuing your goals so they can feel more secure, they aren’t supporting your growth. Maybe they want you to quit your job, pass on a great opportunity, or stop chasing something you’ve worked hard for. That’s not fair. A loving partner will cheer you on, not hold you back to make things easier for themselves.
Hand Over Your Passwords to Prove Loyalty
You don’t need to give up your privacy to prove your love. If your better half insists on having your phone password, reading your messages, or checking your accounts, it shows a lack of trust. A healthy relationship doesn’t involve constant monitoring. Respecting each other’s space builds more trust than any amount of snooping ever could.
Do Things in Bed That Make You Feel Uncomfortable
No matter how close you are, your comfort matters. If your partner pressures you to do something intimate that you’re not okay with, it crosses a line. They might try to guilt you or say it’s part of a normal relationship, but that’s not love. You should always feel safe and respected in every kind of relationship, especially when it comes to your body.
Act as Their Emotional Fixer or Therapist
Being there for your spouse is part of a healthy relationship, but you can’t become their only support system. If they expect you to handle all their emotional pain or solve their problems, it becomes overwhelming. You’re not a therapist, and you shouldn’t carry the weight of their past or their healing. Real support includes knowing when to get outside help.
Keep Their Secrets That Hurt Other People
If they ask you to stay quiet about something that could hurt someone else—like cheating or stealing—they’re involving you in something that isn’t right. Love shouldn’t make you feel guilty for doing the honest thing. You have the right to speak up when something feels wrong. You’re not responsible for covering up their choices or protecting their bad behavior.
Spend Money You Don’t Have Just to Make Them Happy
Whether it’s buying gifts, going on trips, or helping them out financially, your partner should never pressure you to spend beyond your means. Love doesn’t require you to go broke. If you’re constantly stretching your budget to keep them satisfied, it’s time to pause. A caring partner values your stability and would never ask you to risk your own peace.
Ignore Your Health for Their Convenience
No one should expect you to push aside your physical or mental health just to make things easier for them. If your partner asks you to skip medication, cancel a doctor’s visit, or pretend you’re fine when you’re not, that’s a big issue. A supportive relationship should make you feel healthier and stronger, and never ashamed or guilty for taking care of yourself.
Hide Important Parts of Your Identity
You should never feel like you have to hide your culture, beliefs, values, or identity to keep your spouse happy. Whether it’s your religion, sexuality, or anything else that’s part of who you are, they should accept and celebrate it. If they ask you to tone it down or pretend you’re someone else, do you still want to be with them?
Rush into Major Decisions Before You’re Ready
Your better half shouldn’t pressure you into big steps (like moving in, getting engaged, or starting a family) before you’re fully ready. Pushing things forward too quickly can leave you feeling trapped or even unsure. A good relationship moves at a pace that works for both of you. Your voice isn’t being heard the way it should be, if you feel rushed or cornered.
Keep Forgiving the Same Bad Behavior Without Change
Forgiveness is very important, but it only works when someone truly wants to do better. If your partner keeps repeating the same hurtful things and asks for forgiveness every time without making real changes, that’s a problem. You deserve growth, not empty apologies. Love isn’t about accepting pain over and over. It’s about building something better together and that takes effort from both sides.
Take the Blame for Their Actions
If your significant other makes a mistake, they need to take responsibility. They shouldn’t expect you to cover for them or apologize on their behalf. No matter what it is (a missed deadline, a lie, or something worse), shifting the blame onto you is unfair. Relationships need accountability on both sides. You don’t have to protect them by taking the fall for things they caused.
Put Up with Angry Outbursts or Mistreatment
Everyone has bad days, but it’s not okay for your partner to yell at you, shut you out, or take things out on you whenever they feel stressed. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean becoming someone’s emotional punching bag. Nope. You deserve kindness and no one should ever make you feel like their mood gives them permission to mistreat you.