Lisa O
If you have bipolar disorder, you’ve probably had someone say at least one of these things to you. If you know someone with this condition, you might have said them without realizing how hurtful they can be. Even with good intentions—these comments can cause pain, anger, sadness, and harm to someone with this disorder. Here are 15 things you should never say to a bipolar person.
“It’s all in your head.”
Saying this makes it sound like bipolar disorder is made up and not natural. But this disorder is a real medical condition that affects the brain’s chemistry. It’s just like other chronic illnesses like diabetes or asthma—things you can’t see but are still very real and need treatment. Brushing it off as “all in your head” dismisses what the person is actually going through.
“Just snap out of it.”
This phrase suggests that the person can control their condition and just choose to stop having it. But bipolar disorder messes with mood, energy, and activity levels in ways that can’t be controlled by willpower alone. Managing it usually takes a mix of meds, therapy, and support. Telling someone to “snap out of it” is not only unrealistic but also dismisses the real effort they put into dealing with their condition.
“Everyone gets moody sometimes.”
Sure, everyone has mood swings, but bipolar disorder takes it to a whole other level. The mood swings are intense—like extreme highs (mania) and lows (depression) that can stick around for days, weeks, or even months. Saying it’s just like regular moodiness downplays how serious it can be and how much it can mess with someone’s life.
“Are you off your meds?”
Asking this is prying and assuming the person isn’t handling their condition well. Medication is personal, and a lot of people with bipolar disorder work closely with their doctors to figure out what works best. Even with meds, symptoms can still pop up. Instead of assuming they’re slacking on treatment, it’s better to ask how they’re doing and if there’s any way you can lend a hand.
“You don’t look bipolar.”
Saying this makes it seem like mental illness should be obvious, but that’s not how it works. Bipolar disorder—like other mental health problems, isn’t something you can see from the outside. It can hit anyone. Comments like this might make someone feel you don’t get what they’re going through or don’t think their condition is real.
“You’re just overreacting.”
This phrase makes their feelings seem small, but bipolar disorder brings out big emotions that are real and tough to handle. What might seem like an overreaction to you is their genuine feelings. So, instead of brushing off what they’re going through, try to get where they’re coming from and offer some support. Being understanding and there for them can make a big difference.
“You should be able to control this.”
Bipolar disorder messes with brain chemistry—it’s not something you can just handle with willpower. Saying someone should be able to manage it ignores how tough it really is. Treatment usually involves meds, therapy, and making changes to how you live. But even with all that, keeping symptoms in check can be a real challenge for people dealing with this condition.
“I know how you feel.”
Unless you’ve been through bipolar disorder yourself, you can’t really know what they’re dealing with. Everyone’s experience with bipolar disorder is different, so it’s best to listen and be supportive instead of acting like you get it. Saying “I know how you feel” can sound like you’re brushing off their struggles and might stop them from opening up fully about how they’re feeling.
“Calm down.”
Telling someone to relax when they’re in a manic or depressive episode isn’t helpful—it can actually be pretty frustrating for them. Their emotions during these times are often out of their control. Instead of saying “calm down,” try offering to listen or asking how you can be there for them. Being empathetic and understanding goes a long way in showing support.
“You’re too smart to have bipolar disorder.”
Intelligence doesn’t have anything to do with having bipolar disorder. Saying it does make it seem like mental illness is a sign of being weak or not smart, which just isn’t true. Bipolar disorder can affect anyone—no matter how smart they are. Suggesting otherwise might make someone feel like their condition is something to be ashamed of or that they’re not good enough.
“This is just a phase.”
Bipolar disorder doesn’t just go away over time—it’s here for the long haul. Saying it’s just a phase downplays how tough it can be for someone dealing with it. Managing bipolar condition is a lifelong journey that needs ongoing treatment and support to handle effectively. This means sticking with meds and therapy and making lifestyle changes to keep things steady and manageable day-to-day.
“Stop being so dramatic.”
What might look like drama to you could be how someone with bipolar disorder genuinely feels. Calling it dramatic can make them feel like you don’t get what they’re going through and leave them feeling isolated. Instead of dismissing their feelings, just try to listen and understand what they’re dealing with. Showing empathy can mean a lot more to them than labeling their emotions.
“You seem fine to me.”
People with bipolar disorder are often skilled at hiding their symptoms. Just because someone looks fine on the outside doesn’t mean they’re not battling on the inside. Saying this might make them feel like they have to keep their struggles hidden—which can stop them from reaching out for help when they really need it.
“Have you tried just being happy?”
Asking this question makes it seem like dealing with bipolar disorder is easy and can be insensitive. Feeling happy isn’t just a matter of deciding for someone with bipolar disorder. Their moods are influenced by complicated shifts in brain chemistry—not just by how they think or feel. Coping with bipolar disorder usually needs medical treatment and therapy, not just trying to think differently.
“I don’t believe in mental illness.”
Saying mental illnesses aren’t real can be very harmful. Bipolar disorder is a medical condition, not something you can choose to believe in or not. It’s super important to respect and support those dealing with it. Denying mental illness can make people feel like their experiences don’t matter and might stop them from seeking the help they need.