15 Things You Should Never Ask Google

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Google isn’t just for finding facts—it’s a treasure trove of curiosity. One moment, you’re watching “The Conjuring,” and the next, it’s 3:07 AM. You’re on the 21st page exploring “Ghosts,” intrigued by the difference between demons and archdemons and wondering what not to search on Google. Here are 15 things you should never ask Google because even this powerful search engine has its limits when it comes to some wild questions.

How can I lose weight?

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Navigating the internet for weight loss advice can feel like diving into a sea of misinformation and scams, especially with all the pills and promises out there. A simple Google search for “How can I lose weight?” brings up a staggering 4.75 billion results (yes, we checked!). Sorting out the legit from the dubious can be daunting. That’s why your best bet is to stick with a weight loss plan prescribed by your doctor.

Do I have cancer?

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If you’re concerned about a health issue, it’s best to see a doctor rather than relying on those unreliable online forums. Googling your medical questions can often lead to unnecessary worry—Google seems to always suggest the worst-case scenario like cancer. It’s very important not to diagnose yourself. Trust the expertise of a medical professional instead.

Who is [your name]?

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Thinking about Googling your own name? You might not enjoy the results. It can be disappointing to find very little about yourself online, making you feel like you haven’t made a mark. Alternatively, you might encounter hurtful comments or abuse—people online can be harsh. In general, it’s often better to ignore negative comments and focus on more positive aspects of your life.

How to hurt someone?

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Thinking about Googling ways to harm someone, even just to vent? It might seem harmless, but those searches could land you in hot water if things go wrong. It’s best to keep these kinds of thoughts to yourself. Instead of dwelling on anger, focus on moving forward positively—it’s the wiser and safer choice for you and everyone else.

Anything that ends up with your mugshot

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Thinking of Googling where to buy drugs or how to hide a body? Or anything else suspicious? Think again! Asking Google about these things could raise red flags and land you in trouble. Back in 2013, someone innocently searched for “pressure cooker bombs” and “backpacks” and gut a surprise visit from the police! Luckily, she wasn’t up to anything illegal, but she probably wishes she’d never made those searches.

Manage your money

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Google might connect to your financial apps, but that comes with risks. Imagine savvy cybercriminals sneaking into your phone, grabbing your info, and cleaning out your accounts. To stay safe, just stick to logging into your bank’s real website or app. Here’s the golden rule: never spill your passwords or PINs online, unless you’re on your bank’s legit website. It’s your money’s best defense against the bad guys!

Will I die if I eat this?

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If you’re out hiking and considering eating berries you’ve found, Google isn’t the best source to rely on. Online info about poisonous foods and plants can be mixed up, and following it might lead to a hospital visit. Instead, call your doctor for advice. If you’re eating a packaged snack, check the label for the recommended serving size—that’s usually safe to eat.

“Mouth Larva”

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Here’s a quirky tip: if you’re searching for moth larvae pictures, watch out for a common typo that leads to unexpected results. Instead of innocent insect pics, you might end up staring at some pretty creepy images—like larvae in mouths! Trust us, once you’ve seen it, you won’t forget it! So always double-check what you type.

“Bedbugs”

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It’s smart to learn about bedbugs and travel basics, but it might stress you out more than it helps. Just a few minutes of reading about bedbug signs could make you think these tiny pests are lurking in your bed. If you Google “bedbugs,” you might end up tossing out perfectly fine sheets within a day. That’s $40 down the drain that you won’t ever get back.

Surprising findings in fast food

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Many individuals have claimed to find all sorts of unexpected items in their fast food, from random hardware pieces to entire chicken heads. If you read too many of these unsettling accounts, you might start second-guessing where to grab a guilt-free meal—or whether you still have an appetite for fast food at all!

“No Sleep”

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If you’re battling insomnia and looking for relief, searching for “no sleep” won’t do the trick. Instead, you could end up on Reddit’s horror story forum, where creepy tales might have you peeking over your shoulder at every creak and rustle. If you dare to dive into this hair-raising corner of the internet, make sure the lights are on and prepare yourself for a seriously spooky journey.

You work for the CIA

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Be careful about joking with Google Assistant by mentioning “CIA”! If you’ve tried it, you might have gotten a surprising response. While it can be amusing, a Reddit user shared that Google Assistant once turned off when asked if it works for the CIA. Another user shows that it gets mysterious and doesn’t give a straight answer. It’s like it’s hiding something, which makes you curious to ask more questions, doesn’t it?

Are you better than Alexa?

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Avoid sparking a rivalry between Google Assistant and Alexa! These two are fierce competitors for your attention, and asking Google Assistant about Alexa might result in sarcastic replies or even some snark. It’s like a battle of voice assistants with witty jabs and tension—definitely not a topic to bring up if you want to keep Google Assistant on your side!

“GoT spoilers”

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Avoiding “Game of Thrones” spoilers online is like dodging a bunch of traps. If you’re curious, leaked videos and scripts from upcoming episodes are pretty easy to find. To keep the excitement alive and not ruin the surprise for yourself, it’s best to skip these searches altogether. It’ll make watching the rest of the series way more thrilling!

“Full Frontal”

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Samantha Bee’s late-night comedy series, ‘Full Frontal,’ has made its mark with sharp humor and insightful commentary in the entertainment realm. Despite its fan base, it surprisingly doesn’t dominate Google search rankings. So what takes the top spot? Take a guess! If you’re itching to find out, just remember to enable Safe Search before Googling this term.