Lisa O
People notice way more than they let on. Most of the time, nobody says anything because it feels awkward or rude. But that silence doesn’t mean they aren’t forming opinions. Some things just stick in someone’s mind and shape how they see a person without ever becoming part of an actual conversation.
How Someone Treats Wait Staff
Watch someone place an order, and the tone shifts. Suddenly, they’re talking down to the server, as if they’re interrupting something importantāno eye contact. No, thank you, when the food arrivesājust silence and chewing. The friends at the table hear it. They feel the awkwardness but don’t say anything because what would that conversation even look like. But they clock it. They remember how someone acts when they think courtesy is optional.
The Condition of Their Car
Get into someone’s car, and there’s trash everywhere. Old fries were wedged between seatsāa collection of empty iced coffee cups in the cup holder that had probably been growing mold for weeks. The smell hits the moment the door opens. Something stale mixed with old food and that specific funk of a car that never gets cleaned. Passengers don’t say anything because what’s the point. But they’re definitely taking notes about how this person lives.
Breath That Lingers
Bad breath is one of those things nobody brings up unless they’re really close to someone. Coworkers will just lean back a little during conversations. Friends might offer gum without explaining why. Coffee breath is one thing, but there’s a certain staleness that makes people uncomfortable. They’ll remember it and maybe avoid standing too close next time. It’s not something anyone wants to point out face-to-face.
Talking About People Behind Their Back
Everyone pays attention to how others discuss people who aren’t in the room. Constant complaints or gossip about absent friends makes people wonder what gets said about them later. It creates this underlying distrust that nobody mentions directly. The conversation might flow normally, but there’s a mental note being taken. People tend to assume they’ll get the same treatment once they leave.
Phone Habits During Conversations
Someone pulls out their phone mid-conversation and glances down at it. Then does it again a minute later. The person talking can see it happening, but what are they supposed to say. Stop looking at your phone? That makes it awkward. So they keep talking and pretend not to notice. But they do notice. And later they’ll remember who couldn’t stay off their screen for five minutes.
Oversharing on Social Media
Scrolling through someone’s feed and seeing vague posts about fake friends multiple times a week gets uncomfortable. There’s always drama hinted at without names mentionedāselfies paired with healing quotes. Captions about cutting toxic people off that clearly reference something specific. All broadcast to hundreds of followers rather than being discussed privately. Friends watching don’t comment on it, but the constant public oversharing definitely gets noticed and judged quietly.
Tipping Poorly or Not at All
Bill arrives, and someone puts down fifteen bucks on a sixty-dollar meal. Decent service too. Their friends notice immediately, but nobody says anything at the table because how do you even bring that up. Maybe one of them slips extra cash to make up for it. The server sees it when they clear the table. That kind of thing gets remembered. Shapes how cheap or considerate someone seems without anyone needing to spell it out.
Public Parenting Moments
Kids have meltdowns. That’s normal, and nobody cares about the crying itself. What gets judged is the parent yelling back at a toddler in the middle of the grocery store or completely ignoring their kid while scrolling through their phone as products get knocked off shelves. Other shoppers see it happen. They keep moving through the aisles without saying a word. The judgment is instant, though. Already formed and filed away.
Name Dropping in Conversation
Every story includes someone successful or famous. Met an actor at a party years ago. Have a friend who works in the entertainment industry. The names get inserted whether they fit or not. A conversation about traffic brings up the idea of knowing someone who works in city planning. The actual points get lostājust names stacking up without purpose.
Poor Grammar in Messages
Spelling errors in every text are hard to ignore. Messages come through saying “your right” instead of “you’re right”. Or they just don’t know the difference between ‘there’ and ‘their’. Work emails have obvious errors that anyone would catch rereading. Sentences trail off mid-thought. Nobody replies to correct them because that feels like being a jerk. But people definitely notice the pattern and assume the person just hits send without checking anything first.
An Unusual Laugh
Certain laughs cut through a room, and everyone hears them. Maybe it’s too sharp, or it has an odd rhythm that doesn’t match the funny bits. Bodies can’t help these things. People notice, but saying something would be horrible. So they adapt to it. The laugh becomes background noise or an identifier. Occasionally, it grates on nerves in quiet settings, but that irritation never comes to light.
A Messy Bathroom
Using someone’s bathroom and finding it dirty changes opinions fastāa grimy toilet or mildew on the shower curtain. Empty bottles clutter the counter. Guests will finish up and leave without a word, but they won’t forget it. Bathrooms feel personal, and a messy one suggests someone doesn’t care much about their living space. It’s too awkward to mention, so it just becomes a quiet data point.
Always Running Late
Half an hour late again, as agreed. Friends have learned to expect it by now. They tell this person that events start earlier than they actually do. Or they just go ahead and start without waiting. There used to be frustrated conversations about respecting people’s time. Those stopped because nothing ever changed. Now it’s just accepted as who they are. The resentment builds quietly, though, and influences who gets invited next time.
Not Listening When Others Talk
Halfway through telling a story, the person across from you has already checked out. Their eyes glaze over. They’re clearly waiting to jump in with their own thing. When you finish, there’s an abrupt topic switch that makes it painfully obvious they weren’t actually absorbing anything. After a few times like that, it’s easier just to keep conversations shallow. Why bother sharing real stuff with someone who’s barely there.
Their Choice in Entertainment
Everything they watch is people screaming at each other or stuff blowing up. Reality shows that are full of fighting. Action movies where the plot is basically just explosions. They talk about these constantly and recommend them to everyone. Suggest something slower paced, and they look confused. Subtitles are an automatic no. Anything that takes focus gets written off as boring in the first ten minutes. It all stays at the most basic level possible, and that says something.