Lisa O
Not every friend sticks around for the right reasons. Some people stay close because it’s convenient—because your loyalty benefits them more than it does you. They’ll say all the right things, but something always feels a little off. You give more than you get. You show up, they take. These little comments might seem caring at first, but over time, they’re just ways to keep you from noticing how one-sided things have become.
“You know I’d do the same for you.”
This one usually follows a favor, big or small, that they needed from you. It sounds balanced, but actions rarely follow. They talk about how much they’d do for you, but when roles reverse, they vanish. The promise of reciprocity is just that—a promise, not a pattern. They use this to make you feel like the relationship is mutual when it clearly isn’t.
“No one gets me like you do.”
It sounds flattering the first time. You feel like you’re someone special, like they’ve chosen you to be their safe place. But slowly, it turns into a full-time job you didn’t sign up for. They come to you with every breakdown, every rant, every crisis—expecting you to drop everything. After a while, it’s not about friendship anymore. It’s emotional dependency disguised as closeness, and you’re stuck carrying more than your share.
“You’re overthinking it.”
Every time you bring up something that doesn’t sit right, they shut it down. They say you’re reading too much into it or taking things the wrong way. It keeps you second-guessing your instincts. Before long, you stop speaking up. You convince yourself that maybe your feelings aren’t valid. That silence gives them more space to keep taking without being called out.
“We’ve been through so much together.”
Shared history can be a powerful bond—but in the hands of a fake friend, it becomes a guilt trip. They bring up old memories to keep you tied down. Even if the friendship no longer serves you, they’ll use nostalgia to make you feel like leaving would be betrayal. It’s their way of anchoring you to the past so they can stay in your present.
“Other people are just jealous of us.”
If anyone criticizes their behavior or raises concerns, this is the line they pull. Instead of self-reflecting, they claim others are envious of what you two have. They cast themselves as misunderstood and you as the only one who truly sees them. It’s a way to shut out outside opinions and keep you isolated, reinforcing the idea that you only need them.
“I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Said during vulnerable moments or right before you try to pull away, this phrase hits hard. It turns your desire for space into emotional abandonment. You start feeling responsible for their well-being. Even when you’re drained, you stick around out of guilt. They use emotional pressure to hold on—not because they value you, but because they fear losing control.
“I was just joking—don’t be so sensitive.”
They say something mean, then immediately downplay it as humor. It’s a setup: they get to hurt you, then dodge accountability. If you react, you’re the one who “can’t take a joke.” It leaves you walking on eggshells, afraid of overreacting. Over time, their sarcasm chips away at your confidence—and you stop calling things out just to keep the peace.
“Everyone has flaws and I accept yours.”
You’d think this sounds mature—accepting imperfection. But they use it as leverage. It pops up right after you confront them about how they’ve treated you. They remind you that they’ve “overlooked” your faults, so now it’s your turn. It puts you in a position where you feel like you’re the unreasonable one for expecting better. This is manipulation dressed as grace.
“I just didn’t want to bother you.”
This one usually comes after you realize they left you out of plans or didn’t tell you something important. They say it like they were protecting you, but it’s often a cover for excluding you. Instead of admitting they didn’t want you there or didn’t think of you, they frame it like they were doing you a favor. It masks distance as kindness.
“You’re the only real friend I have.”
It sounds sweet at first—like you’re the one person they truly trust. But later, it starts to feel heavy. Anytime you pull back or disagree, they act like you’re abandoning them. Suddenly, you’re responsible for their loneliness, their mood, their sense of belonging. They might have plenty of other people in their life, but saying this keeps you feeling guilty, like walking away would break something only you were holding together.
“I didn’t think you’d care.”
This line shows up when they do something shady and you confront them. Rather than owning up to it, they act surprised that you’re upset. They frame your reaction as an overstep, making it seem like you expected too much. It pushes the blame back onto you and lets them off the hook without having to actually fix anything.
“Let’s hang out soon” (but never follows through)
You hear this one a lot—after running into them or catching up briefly online. It sounds sincere in the moment, but weeks go by with no follow-up. There’s always an excuse. It’s their way of keeping things warm without real effort. You’re good enough to greet but not worth scheduling around. It’s false friendliness that gives them space while stringing you along.
“I’ve just been really busy.”
Everyone gets busy, but when this becomes their go-to for every missed call, forgotten invite, or canceled plan, it’s a pattern. They’re not too busy for everyone—just for you. This excuse keeps things vague and noncommittal while keeping you on standby. It buys them sympathy and time without changing their behavior or priorities.
“I miss you!” (but only when they want something)
Out of nowhere, they message you saying how much they miss you. You feel seen again—until they ask for a ride, a favor, or a place to vent. It’s not about missing you, it’s about missing what you offer. They use warm words as bait. Once you’re emotionally open again, they take what they need and vanish just as quickly.
“I’ve just been going through a lot.”
When you finally draw a boundary or call out repeated behavior, this becomes the default excuse. Everything is suddenly about their struggles. It softens the moment and makes you feel like a bad friend for expecting better. While they might genuinely be going through something, it’s often used to dodge responsibility. You end up feeling like the selfish one—for simply asking for respect.