Lisa O
It can be worrying when you start feeling like your partner is pulling away. You might notice something wrong in your marriage even if they haven’t said anything. According to experts, there are some big signs that could mean your partner isn’t as interested in the relationship anymore. Here are the signs your partner has checked out of the marriage.
They often criticize you
In marriage, it’s very important for both partners to accept and respect each other fully and to be kind. While it’s normal to have some disagreements—they should be respectful. But if your partner constantly criticizes you, especially for things that never bothered them before—it could be a big sign of trouble in your marriage.
They share stuff with others but not with you
As a spouse, you look forward to sharing your dreams, fears, and everything in between with each other. You should be the go-to person for your partner—the one they trust with their deepest, darkest thoughts. But if you find your partner confiding in others instead of you, it’s worth paying attention to. It might just be the first hint that your marriage needs some work.
They get mad if you don’t do what they want
When your partner starts getting angry, calling you names, or showing disrespect—they’re mentally checked out of the marriage but don’t want to leave just yet. They might feel divorce isn’t an option for them at the moment. When they always make you feel like you’re not doing your part in the relationship—it’s a big sign things aren’t going well. They stop relying on you and become very difficult to deal with.
They become less tolerant of you
Every couple faces challenges in their marriage—it’s just part of life. But what really signals trouble is when intolerance becomes a big issue. Suddenly, everything you do seems to annoy your partner. Even the things they used to love about you start to bother them. It’s a clear sign that your marriage might not be going well.
They don’t play around like they used to
Remember the times when you used to have so much fun together? Those moments of playfulness and joy that once filled your relationship seem to have vanished. When the friendly teasing and laughter go awayᅳit could be an early sign that your marriage is facing big challenges. It becomes obvious that your partner isn’t finding happiness with you anymore, which is why they’re emotionally distant.
They don’t check in on you like they used to
Remember when your partner would call or text to see how you were doing? But now it feels like they couldn’t care less about you. They don’t even ask if something’s wrong when they see you upset. If these caring gestures from your other half have decreased and continue to decline—it’s a big sign that your marriage is in trouble.
Intimate moments feel awkward or uncomfortable
See how often you’re having intimate moments with your partner—it might be less than before. Even when you do, it doesn’t feel like the loving connection you used to share. Instead, it might feel forced and uncomfortable—like something you’re doing just because you’re married. If your partner used to seek intimacy with you but now avoids it, it could mean they’re emotionally withdrawn from the marriage.
They focus more on themselves than you
If your partner’s all about “me” instead of “us,” it’s a big red flag for your marriage. They’re more interested in their own happiness and peace of mind, and sadly, they don’t find that in your relationship anymore. Instead of spending time with you on weekends—they’re making plans with friends or coworkers. It’s a clear signal that your emotional needs are being ignored.
They avoid doing their share of tasks
In any relationship, how well both partners work together is very important. It’s like a balance beam—if both sides aren’t in sync, finding happiness is tough. If your partner starts slacking off on their share of household duties, it can lead to a bunch of other problems. From arguing about unfinished chores to feeling upset about not getting enough support—many issues can start to pop up.
They always seem distracted
Is he always glued to his phone during your date nights? Or does he spend all his time on the laptop at home? Do your attempts to spend time together annoy him? If phrases like “Can’t I just chill?” or “Why can’t you leave me alone?” are becoming regular in your marriage—it’s a sign your partner isn’t giving you much attention. These distractions could mean your marriage isn’t in a good place.
You feel like they might be cheating
If you’ve been feeling in your gut that your partner might be cheating and you notice their attention drifting to other people—you might be right. And it means they’ve emotionally checked out of the relationship already. A cheating partner basically means they’ve mentally left the marriage. Regardless of how serious their relationship is with the other person—the fact they’ve broken your trust shows they don’t care much about your feelings.
They seem sad or down a lot
Have you noticed your partner looking down and losing interest in things lately? Do they seem really sad and unhappy? Have you seen them turning to alcohol or drugs more often? These signs of your partner checking out of the marriage might actually be signs of them feeling depressed. If that’s what’s going on, it’s important to make them understand how serious it is and ask them to get help ASAP.
They’re physically around but not really there with you
Quality time together means being fully present and not distracted by smartphones or work emails. If you and your spouse are always in the same room but never really connecting—it’s a big sign they’re not fully engaged in the relationship. After a long day, who wants to spend their time scrolling through social media instead of enjoying each other’s company?
They don’t invite you to hang out with them
It’s very important to have some time apart in a marriage—doing your own hobbies or hanging out with friends keeps things interesting. But if you’re spending too much time apart, it could feel like you’re growing apart. Experts say if your partner seems let down by the marriage—they might try to cheer themselves up by doing things they love without you.
They never ask about your day
When all you talk about are chores and tasks (“Can you grab dinner? Did you call the plumber?”) and your partner doesn’t seem interested in how you’re feeling, it could mean your marriage is facing some very serious problems. When someone stops caring about their partner, it’s a sign they’ve emotionally checked out of the relationship.
They criticize your friends and family a lot
Your partner might not always see eye-to-eye with your parents, but that’s totally okay. But constantly criticizing them isn’t OK. It shows they’re not interested, and it’s just not okay behavior. It’s important to set a boundary. You could say something like, “Hey, why all the negativity? It really hurts me when you speak badly about my family. Is something bothering you? Let’s talk about it.”
You go to bed at different times
Couples often get caught up in what we like to call “functional exits.” These are everyday activities like work or hobbies that double as ways to steer clear of closeness. So if you or your partner frequently say, “You go on to bed; I’ll catch up later,” it could be a sneaky way of keeping some distance between you.
They’re always on their phone, ignoring you
It’s no secret that our phones have made it harder for us to focus. But if you’re always competing with your partner’s phone for attention (and losing!), they’re not giving you their full focus. Not only does this show they’re not fully present, but it’s also just not nice. You shouldn’t have to text your spouse from across the room to get them to talk to you.
They’re slowly taking back their stuff from your place
When your partner starts untangling your lives bit by bit, it’s like they’re pulling away. You might notice they take things with them when they leave your place and don’t bring anything back. It’s a big sign they might be losing interest. If you see this happening—it’s worth thinking about whether they’re as serious about the relationship as you are.
They don’t argue or respond during fights anymore
Having disagreements is a part of any relationship. It’s normal and can even be healthy sometimes. But if your partner stops arguing or responding during fights—it could mean they’re losing interest. While it might feel good when the fighting stops for one person, it usually shows the other person has given up on the relationship.