30 Signs You Are the Toxic Person

Upset Lady Sitting in Park and Thinking
Photo by Andres Ayrton on Pexels

Have you ever heard someone called “toxic”? These people are good at tricking people to get what they want. Usually, toxic individuals don’t handle stress well, so they act mean and spread the hurt they feel to others. Sometimes, you might not even realize you’re being toxic yourself. If you spot signs of being toxic, you can change and have better relationships. So, let’s check out the signs you are the toxic person!

You Bring Others Down with Negativity

Man Wearing Heather-gray Crew-neck Shirt
Photo by Mike Greer on Pexels

Ever notice if you make people feel worse than before they met you? That might mean you’re being toxic. If you often leave people feeling worse than before, it could be because of you. People who go around making others feel bad usually feel pretty low themselves. Maybe someone important, like a parent or step-parent, made them feel like they were never good enough. That can mess with your confidence.

You’re a Social Pariah and People Avoid You

woman wearing brown sweater holding lips
Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

Do you notice that nobody seems eager to hang out with you? We know – it’s not a great feeling. If your family and friends always seem to find reasons not to spend time with you, it might be because you’re super toxic. Ignoring someone toxic isn’t simple, but sometimes it’s the best thing for everyone’s mental and physical health.

You Think You’re Better Than Everyone Else

man wearing black notched lapel suit jacket
Photo by Fred Moon on Unsplash

Do you always act like you’re the most intelligent person in the room? Well, if you do, then you might want to rethink things. Being that way can actually make you toxic. It’s like feeling you’re better than everyone else, carrying this big ego wherever you go. You know, like you’ve got some kind of superpowers—thinking you’re always right and better than anyone.

You Dodge Responsibility and Blame Others

Man And Woman Wearing Brown Leather Jackets
Photo by Vera Arsic on Pexels

Do you always blame others when things go wrong in your life? Well, if you do, listen up. It’s not good. You never take responsibility for what you do or learn from your mistakes. Instead, you think life is unfair and you’re always the one getting hurt. Avoiding responsibility might be because of some tough stuff you went through in the past – like if you were hurt, criticized, or rejected.

You’re Overly Controlling of Situations

smiling girl in black and white striped shirt
Photo by Julien L on Unsplash

You see everyone else as pieces in your game, just there to do what you want. You’re sure you know what’s best for everyone and won’t even listen to different ideas. You’re like the captain of a ship – steering without checking the compass or listening to the crew’s advice. If you always like to control others, it’s because you’re toxic.

You’re Always Sarcastic, Even in Serious Moments

woman in red shirt smiling
Photo by Rita Malçok on Unsplash

If you’re in a job where being tough is the norm or if your family always uses sarcasm and “I told you so” remarks, you might find yourself naturally using sarcasm a lot. While we don’t encourage always agreeing with others, constantly focusing on the negative can be tiring for people around you. Even if it’s meant as a joke – too much teasing can start to feel like hidden hostility.

You Gossip Behind People’s Backs

a group of people standing around talking to each other
Photo by Thriday on Unsplash

If you’ve ever encountered the old adage, “Those who talk the most often hear the least,” chances are, you’ve had your fair share of run-ins with toxic personalities. These people couldn’t care less about keeping things hush-hush – they’ll spill the beans to anyone who listens, no matter the consequences. And if you’re the one who’s constantly dishing out gossip – you might be adding a touch of toxicity to the mix yourself!

You Can’t Be Trusted to Keep Secrets

Woman Doing Shh Hand Gesture
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels

Spilling secrets that aren’t yours to share isn’t the only shady thing you do. You switch sides easily, betraying those who trusted you. When push comes to shove, you’ll sacrifice anyone to protect yourself. One super big sign of untrustworthy people is their lack of honesty. They don’t stick to their promises and easily break their word.

You’re Moody and Unpredictable

woman with black hair smiling
Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

Your emotions seem to change like the weather, making predicting how you’ll feel next tricky. Maybe people have jokingly labeled you “bipolar” or commented that you’re constantly changing your mind. One minute, you’re in the mood for coffee, but then suddenly, you’re craving a chai latte. It’s because your mood swings can be unpredictable and very harmful to others.

You Avoid Dealing with Conflicts

Photo Of Man Wearing Black Eyeglasses
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels

Conflict is never fun. Instead of facing it head-on, we tend to dodge it in sneaky ways. But if you’re constantly avoiding the real problem and then showing your anger through silent treatment, stubbornness, or little digs, it just worsens things. No matter how valid our points are or how upset we might feel, playing the passive-aggressive card only adds fuel to the fire and makes relationships suffer very badly.

You Love Drama and Stir Trouble

Man in White Dress Shirt Covering His Face
Photo by Yan Krukau on Pexels

Do you ever feel like you’re always surrounded by drama? Well, it’s probably not just bad luck. Toxic people seem to feed off drama like it’s their favorite snack. They love stirring up trouble, making emotions flare, and causing conflicts. Toxic people often don’t care about having stable and healthy relationships—they’re more into chaos and commotion.

You Manipulate Others to Get Your Way

Photography of Women Talking to Each Other
Photo by Christina Morillo on Pexels

You tend to play on people’s feelings to get what you want. Whether it’s threatening to hurt yourself or leave, you do it to push others into doing what you want. That’s toxic behavior. Toxic people twist things around to get their own way, to shield their pride, and to dodge taking responsibility for what they do.

You Refuse to Own Up to Your Mistakes

a man with glasses is looking at a laptop
Photo by Francisco De Legarreta C. on Unsplash

Have you ever been caught red-handed doing something terrible? Instead of saying sorry and owning up, you start pointing fingers and making excuses. That’s classic toxic behavior. Toxic people are super quick to criticize, can’t admit when they mess up, and will pin the blame on others (especially if they’re in charge) even if it’s not true. They just won’t take responsibility for what they do.

You’re Passive-Aggressive in Your Communication

a man sitting on a couch next to a woman
Photo by Sweet Life on Unsplash

Passive aggressiveness is like a big warning sign signaling toxic behavior. You never speak straight or stick to your words. It’s tough for others to figure you out because you act one way to their face and another behind their back. Low self-esteem often leads to this two-faced behavior. People don’t want others to see their weaknesses so they push negativity onto others to divert attention from themselves.

You Enjoy Embarrassing Others Publicly

two women sitting at a table with laptops
Photo by Resume Genius on Unsplash

Picture this: Instead of having a heart-to-heart in private, you decide to air out embarrassing details for all to see to boost your own image and feel good. Sure, you might try to brush it off as a joke, but causing someone public pain isn’t a laughing matter. Everyone sees through it – that’s super toxic behavior.

You’re Envious of Others’ Successes

Side view of Hispanic female sitting at table with textbooks while preparing for exams with phone while looking jealously at man texting on cellphone in daytime in park
Photo by Budgeron Bach on Pexels

Instead of cheering on others when they win, you feel a twinge of envy. You downplay their successes to make yourself feel superior. You harbor resentment towards them and their achievements. You’re always striving to outshine everyone else. It’s toxic behavior, but here’s a secret: lifting others up can bring you even greater joy in return.

You Exploit Vulnerable People for Personal Gain

man covering face with both hands while sitting on bench
Photo by Christian Erfurt on Unsplash

When it comes to toxic folks, instead of genuinely caring about those going through tough times, they try to gain from their suffering. They might give money to a homeless person and then brag about it online for attention. Some very toxic people even dislike others for being vulnerable. Do you share these feelings towards homeless people? If so, you’re definitely in the toxic crowd.

You See Kindness as a Sign of Weakness

person reaching black heart cutout paper
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

When you’re around a toxic person, being nice often backfires. They see kindness as a weakness and might try to use it to their advantage. But guess what? Kindness actually makes the world a better place. It can make people feel more confident, in charge, and happy. By being kind you can spread optimism and joy all around.

You Hold Grudges and Can’t Let Go of Past Grievances

man in white crew neck t-shirt
Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

When people have arguments, they usually talk it out, make up, and move on. But not you! Oh no, you’re different. You want the person who upset you to know you’re not just going to let it slide. Holding onto grudges can eat away at your happiness and peace. And the best revenge? Living your best life, full of joy and fulfillment!

You Take Everything Personally and Get Defensive

Expressive angry businessman in formal suit looking at camera and screaming with madness while hitting desk with fist
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels

You take everything as a dig at you. Nobody dares to offer helpful advice because they’re super scared of what might happen. If you feel even a little bit slighted, you unleash a barrage of attacks, and nothing’s off-limits. Low self-esteem can make toxic people more prone to taking things personally. When we don’t feel good about ourselves, we tend to think others are judging us, too.

You Use Threats to Get Your Way

Man Arguing with Woman by Table
Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Pexels

You make it crystal clear that messing with you comes with severe consequences. You’re not afraid to intimidate anyone who stands in your path. Toxic people regularly engage in harmful behaviors, from manipulation and emotional abuse to tearing down others’ confidence. They’re always ready to throw punches – leaving those around them feeling bruised and battered.

You Refuse to Compromise or See Others’ Perspectives

A Couple Having a Conversation
Photo by Alena Darmel on Pexels

You control everything in your life like a dictator, where your word is law. It’s no surprise, given your big ego and need to control everyone and everything. Why? Well, toxic people often struggle with understanding emotions because they didn’t learn healthy relationship skills and communication when they were young. Their needs always come first. Anything else doesn’t register.

You Turn Everything into a Competition

Man and Woman Arguing
Photo by Keira Burton on Pexels

When you tell someone you’ve been through something similar, it’s like saying, “Hey, I get it. I’ve been there too.” But when you try to one-up them by saying your experience was worse, it’s like turning it into a super dirty contest. Toxic individuals always think someone who’s struggling should just toughen up because that’s what they did. But here’s the thing: pain isn’t a game, and we need to support each other through it.

You Make Jokes Even in Serious Situations

happy, man, adult
Photo by Pexels on Pixabay

You’ve probably met someone who laughs at everything, even when it’s not funny. They joke around, even about serious or sad things. Maybe it’s because they don’t know how to handle tough situations or feel awkward dealing with deep emotions. So, they use humor to dodge the hard stuff. If you’re always making light of serious matters – it could be a sign you’re really toxic.

You Feel the Need to Fix Everyone’s Problems

woman sitting on yellow armless chair near gray laptop computer
Photo by Mimi Thian on Unsplash

Some of us are natural helpers and problem-solvers. Maybe you’re used to jumping in to fix things before they even become issues, or you’re drawn to relationships where you can fix what went wrong in the past. Or maybe you enjoy finding solutions. But all this helping can take a toll on us emotionally. As the problems stack up, so does our stress and frustration. And that’s how we can turn toxic.

You Secretly Crave Chaos and Drama

woman in blue denim jeans sitting on gray sofa
Photo by Clayton Webb on Unsplash

When we try to change, there’s often a battle within us. One side wants to grow but the other side prefers things to stay the same because it benefits from the current situation. Even though we might not like to admit it – sometimes we enjoy the drama that tough times bring. It’s like we’re stuck in a never-ending cycle of the same old problems. And that’s a big sign of toxicity.

You Preach Mindset Changes to Everyone

a man wearing glasses looking out a window
Photo by Laurenz Kleinheider on Unsplash

We often tell each other to “cheer up,” “stop thinking like that,” or “be logical.” It’s like using mental Photoshop to cover up our “negative” feelings because they’re uncomfortable or not socially accepted. But trying to slap a logical filter on everything doesn’t always make sense. It might be a sign you’re toxic if you’re constantly telling people to change their mindset.

You Push Your Beliefs onto Others

person holding black smartphone
Photo by Luis Villasmil on Unsplash

When we finally find an answer, especially after feeling stuck for so long, we want to share it with everyone. Whether it’s a trick for losing weight or finding inner peace, we want our friends and family to enjoy it, too. But sometimes, pushing our beliefs onto others can make them feel uncomfortable and invaded, just like shoving something down their throat.

You Criticize Others to Feel Superior

a man with a surprised look on his face
Photo by Remi Turcotte on Unsplash

One of the most embarrassing things is when someone with good intentions gathers others to embarrass you over a mistake, thinking it’ll motivate you to change. We often hear about this happening in families, whether it’s about mental health struggles or a bad day with acne. But if you do this, know it hurts and pushes people away. It just makes the person feel worse and more anxious.

You Constantly Play the Victim Card

woman sitting on floor near window
Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

Toxic people have a knack for seeing themselves as the victims, even in situations where they’re clearly not. They pull out the victim card to get sympathy or manipulate others into doing their bidding. This whole “poor me” act can be downright infuriating, leaving everyone else feeling super mad and powerless. If you’re always convinced you’re blameless, well, we hate to break it to you, but you might just be the toxic one in the room.