Emily Flores
We all lie sometimes. “I’m five minutes away” (you’re still in the shower), or “I’ve read the terms and conditions” (never in your life). Harmless stuff, right? But some people take lying to a whole new level, so high up that it becomes their default setting. And what’s worse? They do it with confidence. So, here are 20 red flags that will help you spot pathological liars before you get tangled in their web.
Lies For No Reason
One of the most puzzling behaviors of pathological liars is their tendency to spin tales without any clear reason. It’s not about tricking anyone. For them, lying is an ingrained habit that surfaces even when telling the truth would work just fine.
Details Always Shifting
Like a computer with corrupted memory files, a pathological liar’s mind struggles to keep their stories consistent across multiple tellings. At first, you might chalk it up to being forgetful, but as they struggle to keep their lies straight, those confusions can hurt relationships.
Too Smooth Under Pressure
You might assume someone telling a lie would show nerves—but their manipulation skills are exceptional, so much so that they stay unusually composed during confrontation and reveal no hint of fear. And that’s why their calm demeanor is often mistaken for honesty.
Overly Dramatic Stories
What starts as a curious flood of details in someone’s stories grows into full-blown dramatic performances, filled with extra specifics and twists. These carefully built tales might seem believable at first, but their over-the-top style gives away a pattern of manipulation if you look a little closer.
Dodges Direct Questions
When a person answers simple questions like “Where are you from?” with long and wandering stories instead of a straight answer, they’re deliberately dodging. By keeping details vague and speaking in general terms, they cleverly avoid giving new information that could clash and reveal their lies.
Never Own Mistakes
While most people reluctantly admit mistakes once caught, pathological liars live in a completely different world. They’ll reject the clearest lies outright and point fingers at others, sometimes convincing themselves that their fictional stories are, in fact, the truth. Their defensiveness ironically pushes them deeper into the web.
Hyperfocus On Unnecessary Details
They’ll give you minute descriptions of irrelevant elements like what color their socks were or the brand of pen they used while glossing over the core facts you actually need. This half-told story hides all their lies under a pile of unnecessary details.
Always The Hero Or Victim
Behind every liar’s attempt to gain sympathy or praise is a carefully practiced act where they’re either heroically saving the day or suffering dramatically. Their routine includes stretching the truth and creating unverifiable stories of success or hardship—all designed to win attention or compassion they don’t really deserve.
Steals Others’ Experiences
What to watch for is someone who keeps telling amazing stories that seem strangely familiar—because they likely are. These people carefully gather experiences from others (even strangers) and add believable details to claim the tales as their own, for an incessant need for personal validation.
Pushing For Secrets
Pathological liars have this uncanny need to know your secrets while guarding theirs like national security. They’ll frame it like they’re just “curious” or trying to “understand you better.” But they collect secrets like trophies, not because they care, but because it gives them power.
Not All Secrets Are About Privacy
Pay attention when someone insists, “Keep this between us” or “Promise you won’t tell anyone.” True honesty doesn’t come with ultimatums. If someone demands secrecy like that, they care more about hiding their lies from being exposed rather than protecting their privacy.
Fake Crises For Attention
At first glance, they seem genuinely crushed by life’s harsh twists, earning all the sympathy people offer. But on closer inspection, these perfectly timed disasters are carefully staged and impossible to confirm. They certainly have a knack for turning blown-up hardships into attention-grabbing stories.
Overconfident In Falsehoods
Here’s a fascinating brain quirk: pathological liars actually get an adrenaline rush from lying, like their reward system has gone off track. It fuels their smooth delivery and persuasive presence and allows them to sell falsehoods with ease, despite any rising skepticism.
Chronology Gaps
Key events in their narrative come with vague time jumps—“Then something happened,” “Sometime later,” “After a while,” but no real dates or sequence. Talking to them is like reading a book with chapters ripped out, but those missing chapters in their timeline are where the lies hide.
Invents Fake Relationships
That casual comment about “grabbing coffee with Taylor Swift last week” might be exaggerating, but pathological liars regularly invent all kinds of relationships to boost their social image. These made-up connections usually range from celebrity encounters to personal bonds.
Too Many Personas
Like a skilled actor shifting roles, these individuals display different personas to each person and tailor their stories for every audience. Their chameleon-like behavior preserves a web of lies while building a wall that makes it nearly impossible for anyone to connect with their real self.
Always Has An Alibi
When someone has an explanation for everything, especially before you even ask, that’s being rehearsed. Pathological liars build a fortress of ready-made excuses and alibis, as if they were already prepared for the moment they’ll get caught before it even happens.
Shielding Themselves From Suspicion
Some people go out of their way to seem trustworthy. And the more they try to look squeaky clean, the more you should start sniffing around for dirt. Because if someone has to keep reminding you how honest they are… they probably aren’t.
Dodging With Humor
When caught in a lie or asked for details, a pathological liar might laugh it off or make a joke to steer the conversation elsewhere. This tactic distracts from the truth and makes you feel like you’re overreacting in order to keep the focus off them.
Emotional Misalignment
Watch for a disconnect between the emotion they describe and the emotion they display. Someone recounting a tragic event should show sorrow; a triumphant story should spark excitement. If their facial expressions, tone, or body language don’t align with their narrative, that is a red flag.