Lisa O
Keeping track of what you say can be draining and stressful. It feels like there’s always a new word or phrase that’s off-limits, or something you thought was fine yesterday suddenly upsets someone. It’s super important to remember that daily racist, sexist, or just plain mean comments can be really exhausting for others. Here are ten really offensive things you don’t realize you’re saying.
“You Must Be So Nurturing Because You’re a Woman!”
For a long time, women have taken on most of the child-rearing, so they are often seen as more naturally nurturing. Men, on the other hand, usually don’t get taught how to care for babies from a young age. However, studies show that both are equally good at nurturing. Thinking that men can’t be as good at parenting or that women should always handle child care doesn’t really do any gender a favor.
“You’ll Totally Change Your Mind About Having Kids.”
Not everyone has a strong instinct to have kids. Saying “you’ll change your mind” suggests that with time and life experience, they’ll eventually feel like they’re supposed to have children. But the truth is, some people are sure they don’t want kids and feel that way deep down. You need to respect their choice and feelings.
“This Cake Is Giving Me Diabetes.”
When you make jokes about sweet foods giving you diabetes—people who actually have diabetes are likely rolling their eyes. They’re right to be frustrated because diabetes isn’t a laughing matter. It’s a serious and often life-threatening condition, and you don’t just catch it from eating a couple of donuts. So, it’s important to be respectful and understand the real impact of the disease.
“When’s Your Baby Due?”
Having a baby on the way is exciting news. But it’s smart to wait until you’re absolutely sure before congratulating someone on their baby bump. There’s no smooth way to back out if you end up complimenting a woman’s lunch belly instead! Also, making assumptions about anyone’s family or relationship situation can get you into tricky spots.
“Time to Man Up.”
Media stereotypes often describe the “ultimate guy” as super tough, always ready for a fight, never showing weakness or pain, and with both big muscles and a big wallet. When you tell a guy to “man up,” you’re basically saying he should ignore his feelings and live up to this unrealistic image. Shaming him into being tough can seriously mess with his mental well-being.
“That’s So Ghetto.”
You might think calling something “ghetto” just means it’s cheap or lame without any racial or class connotations. That’s not the case. “Ghetto” actually refers to the poorest and most segregated areas of cities in the U.S. There are better, non-offensive words you can use if you don’t like something.
“Let’s Just Call a Spade a Spade.”
The phrase started out just referring to garden tools, meaning to speak plainly without beating around the bush. But back in the early 20th century, “spade” turned into a racial slur against African Americans in the Jim Crow South, changing the phrase’s meaning in a very negative way. It’s best to skip using this expression entirely.
“They’re In a Better Place Now.”
Many people find phrases like “It’s God’s will” pretty upsetting during times of loss. Grieving folks might have felt more comfort if their loved ones were still around to support them. It’s tough to wrap your head around the idea that the same “God” people turn to for comfort is also the one who took their loved one away. It’s usually best to just say, “I’m sorry for your loss.”
“You Must Have Super Senses After Losing Your Sight.”
A Reddit user shared this upsetting comment from the blind community. Just because someone loses their sight doesn’t mean they get superhero-like senses—like being bitten by a radioactive spider. Also, many people with vision or hearing loss aren’t fans of the terms “visually impaired” or “hearing impaired” because they don’t see themselves as impaired.
“You don’t look disabled.”
This comment suggests that there’s a specific way a disabled person should appear, which is not true. Disabilities can be visible or invisible, and assuming someone’s health status based on their appearance can invalidate their experiences and struggles. Instead of making assumptions about someone’s health or abilities, it’s better to focus on what they are comfortable sharing.