Emily Flores
History doesn’t have to be all dates and dusty textbooks. Sometimes, it’s just one punchline away from being hilarious. These 20 jokes take the big moments and turning points from the past, and give them the dad-joke twist they never saw coming.
Ancient Rome
Why did the gladiator bring a ladder into the arena?
Because he wanted to rise to the occasion!
Napoleon’s Strategy
Napoleon always took the shortest path to victory, mostly because he wasn’t tall enough to see the long one.
King Tut
King Tut was buried with treasure.
You’ll be lucky to be buried without student debt.
The Renaissance
Why was da Vinci never without his sketchbook?
Because he preferred to draw his conclusions!
The Moon Landing
1969: “We landed on the moon!”
2025: “My WiFi is slow, my life is ruined!”
The Declaration Of Independence
Why did the colonists write the Declaration of Independence in the summer?
Because they wanted to break free while it was still hot!
Julius Caesar
Julius Caesar’s closest allies betrayed him.
Today, they just unfollow you.
Hannibal’s Elephants
Hannibal crossed the Alps with elephants.
Most of us can’t cross town without Google Maps.
The Titanic
Why did the Titanic get bad Yelp reviews?
Because the service was sinking fast!
World War II
Churchill’s speeches rallied the nation.
Now he’d just post a motivational meme.
Ancient Egypt
Why did the mummy go to therapy?
It had too many “wrapped-up” emotions!
Medieval Monks
Monks copied manuscripts by hand.
Now we just hit Ctrl+C and call it a day.
Cold War
Why did the Cold War never get too warm?
Because neither side wanted to break the ice!
The Wright Flyer
The first plane flight lasted 12 seconds.
Still longer than most people’s attention span.
Greek Philosophers
Why don’t Greek philosophers argue at parties?
Because they take everything Plato-nically.
Great Depression
Why did the banker jump out of the window?
His stocks crashed, but he still wanted to bounce!
Egyptian Pharaohs
Cleopatra ruled the Nile.
My cat rules the couch.
Gold Rush
Why did the prospector read history books?
He was digging for golden facts!
Marie Antoinette
Marie Antoinette said, “Let them eat cake.”
She underestimated how hangry a mob could get.
Medieval Knight
Why did the medieval knight always carry a ladder?
Because he wanted to take the battle to the next level!