Devin Jacobs
Do you feel like people don’t take you seriously, but you can’t quite figure out why? Well, it’s not always about what you say. Sometimes, it’s the sneaky stuff you do without realizing. Those tiny habits mess with your vibe and make you seem unsure. So, if you want to start owning the room, it’s time to stop doing things that make others question your confidence. Let this list be your wake-up call.
Apologizing For Existing
Saying “sorry” when you haven’t done anything wrong is like handing out coupons for guilt. It trains people to expect you to shrink. So, save apologies for real mistakes, not for breathing too loud or taking up three inches of space.
Over-Explaining Everything
If you need a PowerPoint to justify why you chose decaf, we’ve got a problem. Constantly defending your decisions makes them look shaky—even when they’re solid. Just trust your choices. You’re not on trial, and no one asked for a TED Talk.
Avoiding Eye Contact
Looking everywhere, but someone’s face screams, “I’d rather be invisible.” It’s not mysterious—it’s awkward. Eye contact builds trust, shows presence, and says, “I’m here, and I’m not afraid of being seen.” Don’t stare them down, but don’t ghost their gaze either.
Laughing When You’re Not Amused
That nervous chuckle after someone says something mildly offensive? It’s not helping. Fake laughter is a confidence leak. It tells others you’ll tolerate anything to keep the peace. So, let your giggles be for genuine joy, not social survival mode.
Downplaying Your Wins
“Oh, it was nothing,” you say, after climbing a metaphorical Everest. Well, humility is charming, but erasing your achievements? That’s a form of self-sabotage. You need to own your success without handing it off like a hot potato.
Fidgeting Like You’re On Fast Forward
Do you tap, twitch, or adjust your shirt every five seconds? It’s a silent scream of discomfort, and people notice. Stillness, on the other hand, signals confidence, even if your brain’s doing cartwheels. Always channel your inner calm if you want them to know you’re not nervous.
Speaking In Question Marks
When every sentence sounds like a question, you’re not making statements—you’re asking for permission. “I think?” “Maybe we should?” All of this is verbal limbo. Just say what you mean, like you mean it. You’re not auditioning for a role in “Uncertainty: The Musical.”
Dressing Like You’re Hiding
Clothes that scream “please don’t look at me” do more than mute your style—they mute your presence. There’s no need for sequins or shoulder pads. At least wear what makes you feel like you belong in your own skin. Confidence starts in the closet.
Letting Others Interrupt You
Getting steamrolled mid-sentence and just smiling through it? Nope. Speak up, reclaim your airtime, and finish your thought. If you treat your words like they’re optional, so will everyone else. Remember, you’re not background noise. You’re here to be the main character.
Saying Yes When You Mean No
Hit decline right away when your gut says, “Not today.” Saying “no” isn’t rude—it’s responsible. Otherwise, agreeing to things you dread is like RSVP-ing to your own resentment party. People respect boundaries, not doormats. So, don’t be a vending machine for favors.
Comparing Yourself To Everyone
Scrolling through highlight reels and measuring your worth against them is a confidence killer. You’re not supposed to be anyone else. Your lane is yours; stay in it and thrive. Remember: comparison is the thief of joy.
Waiting For Permission To Shine
If you’re holding back until someone gives you the green light, you’ll be stuck at the intersection forever. Confidence isn’t granted—it’s claimed. Just step into your spotlight without asking. The stage is yours.
Talking Yourself Out Of Speaking Up
You’ve got something smart to say, but you swallow it because “it’s probably not important.” That inner censor isn’t protecting you—it’s silencing you. So, speak up before doubt wins. Confidence grows when you contribute, not when you ghost your own voice.
Hovering Around Decisions
You say you’ll “think about it,” then think about it forever. Indecision is exhausting. People trust those who commit, even if they pivot later. Waffling only makes you look unsure, and unsure doesn’t lead the room. Choose, act, adjust if needed.
Using Self-Deprecation As A Crutch
A little humor is charming. Constantly roasting yourself? Not so much. If every intro starts with “I’m probably wrong but…” you’re training people to doubt you. You need to know your worth without turning it into a punchline every single time.
Shrinking Your Body Language
Tucking in your arms, crossing your legs, folding into a human pretzel—none of it screams “I’ve got this.” You’re not trying to disappear, so stop posing like you are. Take up space. Your body speaks before your mouth does.
Overusing Fillers
“Like, um, you know?”—these verbal crutches trip up your message. They make you sound clueless or confused. Trimming the fluff helps your words land with more punch and less static. The best way to start is by practicing speech at home.
Pretending To Know Things You Don’t
Do you tend to nod along like you totally understand quantum physics? Risky move. Faking knowledge might save face for a second, but it backfires fast. But when you admit “I’m not sure,” it shows maturity. Confidence isn’t knowing everything—it’s knowing when to ask.
Dodging Compliments Like They’re Grenades
Someone says, “You did great,” and you reply with “It was nothing.” That’s not smart. To look confident, you need to accept praise gracefully and show them you value yourself. It helps when you know how to say “thank you” without cringing.
Relying On Humor To Deflect Serious Moments
Cracking jokes when things get real? Sometimes, it can scream discomfort. If you tend to dodge depth with punchlines, people won’t take you seriously. The real deal is to understand when to laugh—and when to lean in.