Devin Jacobs
Change can be subtle, almost invisible, yet it carries weight. Adult children may carry struggles they do not share, leaving faint signs in daily life. Observing these patterns provides insight into challenges they may face and highlights the importance of responding with understanding and care. Pay attention, listen, and let them know they are not alone. But first, learn how to read those signs here.
Sudden Silence In Group Chats
A sudden disappearance from group chats is not always harmless. Emotional strain, anxiety, or depressive thoughts can push adult children to withdraw from online spaces. Parents who recognize these signs promptly can intervene and support their child before the silence escalates.
Over-Apologizing For Minor Things
Constantly apologizing for small or trivial actions can signal a coping mechanism. This habit frequently develops from internalized guilt or low self-worth, combined with a strong fear of upsetting others. The behavior is especially common in adults with people-pleasing tendencies, which makes it a subtle and important sign that parents should not overlook.
Joking Constantly About Being Broke
Jokes about being broke rarely feel playful. Adult children use humor to hide shame or stress tied to debt and financial instability. These remarks create a shield, helping them dodge uncomfortable conversations about money and keep attention away from struggles that might otherwise feel too heavy to discuss.
Avoiding Calls And Preferring Texts
Many grown sons and daughters lean toward texting over phone calls, and the reason frequently runs deeper than convenience. Mental exhaustion can make real-time conversations feel overwhelming, as speaking requires a level of openness they may not be ready for. Texting allows them to communicate on their own terms while keeping a safe personal distance.
Turning Down Help Without A Reason
Sometimes, older adults refuse help without giving a reason. This comes from pride or a fear of burdening others. People raised to value independence may find it uncomfortable to ask for support. Occasionally, their refusal is less about rejection and more a quiet way of prompting someone to offer again.
Sudden Change In Sleep Habits
You know your child’s sleep patterns better than anyone. So when they start sleeping until 2 PM or calling you at midnight because they can’t sleep, pay attention. Oversleeping or insomnia is a classic mental health red flag. Stress often disrupts circadian rhythms, and depression can cause hypersomnia or long hours in bed.
Giving Vague Answers About Life Plans
Dodging specifics about future goals is rarely accidental. It usually indicates confusion or fear of failure. Sometimes, that lack of clarity comes from anxiety or feeling lost. Career indecision ranks among the top stressors for young adults, and many avoid full answers because they fear disappointing their parents with uncertainty.
Talking Excessively About Nostalgia
If every story drifts back to “how things used to be,” it might mean they’re avoiding what’s happening now. Nostalgia can feel good in the moment, but may hide deeper dissatisfaction. When life feels overwhelming, adults usually cling to memories of simpler, safer times they wish they could return to.
Sudden Drop In Personal Hygiene
Neglecting personal hygiene is a recognized symptom in clinical diagnostic criteria for mental health disorders. It commonly signifies depression and is linked to a loss of energy and motivation. Although seldom discussed, a decline in hygiene remains one of the most visible and telling indicators of distress in adults.
Never Talking About Themselves Anymore
When an adult child stops sharing details about their life, it usually points to personal withdrawal. They may fear being judged, feel uncomfortable showing vulnerability, or avoid speaking up to prevent burdening others. Over time, this lack of self-disclosure can create feelings of invisibility and a diminished sense of importance in their relationships.
Making Dark Or Self-Deprecating Jokes
Humor sometimes conceals deep emotional pain. Frequent dark or self-deprecating jokes expose hidden distress. People usually rely on humor as a way of diverting attention from serious struggles or downplaying them. This regularly prevents others from recognizing the underlying challenges they face.
Obsessing Over Productivity
Working late every night and never taking a break might seem ambitious, but it’s not always healthy. Hyperfocus on achievement can hide deep insecurities. For many, it masks low self-esteem and fear of failure. This “toxic productivity” trend is growing, especially among millennials and Gen Z, who tie worth to busyness.
Making Excuses To Skip Family Events
Some adults avoid family gatherings because feelings of emotional exhaustion, shame, or burnout make participation overwhelming. They may stay away to escape judgment from relatives or sidestep uncomfortable conversations. Others keep their distance to avoid the strain of pretending everything is fine while dealing with personal challenges.
Quitting Hobbies They Once Loved
Take note if a loved one quietly stops doing the things they once enjoyed. This shift, known in clinical terms as “anhedonia,” can reflect depression and loss of emotional energy. Often, hobbies disappear first, well before the person realizes they’re experiencing a decline in their mental well-being.
Constantly Saying “I’m Fine” Without Eye Contact
Avoiding eye contact while saying “I’m fine” is a common form of emotional suppression. It usually operates as an automatic defense mechanism, concealing internal distress. The phrase remains one of the most widely used ways to mask feelings, making it important to notice the nonverbal cues behind it.
Posting Vague Emotional Messages On Social Media
Look closely at vague or cryptic updates on social media. These can act as quiet calls for support, usually masking deeper distress. Many avoid direct vulnerability and instead use coded language to share feelings. For some, social media serves as an outlet for emotions they cannot voice in person.
Constantly Changing Jobs Or Interests
Jumping between jobs and changing hobbies can seem adventurous, yet rapid shifts over a short period frequently leave life feeling unsettled. Sometimes the constant switch hides dissatisfaction that’s hard to admit. Without addressing the root cause, the cycle can quietly push them further away from long-term fulfillment and steady personal growth.
Sudden Interest In Spirituality Or The Occult
An abrupt interest in spirituality, including the occult, may follow major life challenges. Many explore astrology, tarot, or meditation when drained or grieving. The aim is usually to find connection and meaning. Such changes are frequently associated with burnout or loss and can act as coping strategies during difficult times.
Letting Bills Or Responsibilities Slip Without Explanation
Unpaid bills or abandoned tasks shouldn’t be ignored. They often stem from burnout or cognitive overload rather than carelessness. Executive dysfunction, frequently associated with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), may disrupt routines. Observing these patterns early allows families to respond with understanding, support, and practical help.
Talking About “Starting Over” Without A Clear Plan
Frequent mentions of “starting over” without defined steps frequently reveal deep dissatisfaction. This pattern is common among emotionally overwhelmed adults. The idea regularly signals a wish to escape current problems rather than make structured changes. Though it appears ambitious, it frequently stems from hopelessness.