Lisa O
People have habits they never really question. Small things that appear to be personality traits or regular routines. But these behaviors aren’t always about preference. Sometimes they’re just ways of dealing with stuff that never got resolved. Old stress. Discomfort that got a band-aid instead of real attention. The patterns stay because they blend in so well that nobody notices.
Staying Busy All the Time
Some people can’t sit still. Ever. There’s always another errand or task waiting. Empty time on the calendar makes them anxious, so they fill every gap. Moving is easier than stopping to deal with what comes up in quiet moments. The schedule becomes armor. Laundry gets folded at midnight. Kitchen counters get scrubbed twice before bed. Years of avoiding stillness mean it no longer feels natural.
Explaining Everything in Detail
Ask certain people a simple question and prepare for a journey. The answer exists, but you’ll get the whole backstory first. Lunch plans spiral into traffic updates and drama over parking at the grocery store. They’re not being chatty. Without all that context, they worry you’ll judge them wrong. Every sentence piles on as protection. When they finally stop talking, the quiet afterward feels risky. Should’ve taken three words but somehow stretched to five minutes.
Apologizing for Existing
Some people apologize constantly. For asking questions. For standing somewhere. For needing basic things. The word just happens automatically without thought behind it. At some point, they picked up the message that taking up space was dangerous. That place is long gone, but the reflex never left. Another shopper crashes a cart into theirs at the store, and they’re already saying sorry.
Making Jokes When Things Get Serious
Certain people deflect everything with humor. A conversation starts to get real, and suddenly there’s a joke. Everyone laughs. Tension broken. The heavy stuff stays buried. It happens too quickly for them even to register that they’re doing it. A friend brings up something difficult, and the punchline beats them to it. Works because humor goes down easily. Whatever needed saying never does.
Cleaning Under Pressure
Stress builds, and suddenly the sponge comes out. The whole place needs scrubbing right before something important is due. Counters need to be organized when the contents inside feel disorganized. There’s control in wiping surfaces when nothing else makes sense. The kitchen ends up spotless. The real problem just sits there, though. Two in the morning, and the baseboards are getting attention. All that jumpy energy needs a place to land.
Dodging Phone Calls
Texting is easy, but making actual calls can be brutal for some people. The phone rings, and their stomach drops. Weeks of voicemails just sitting there. Best friends included. They’ll send a text back eventually—just not the live thing. Real-time conversation means that anything can happen, and there’s no way to prepare for it. Someone needs an answer right this instant, and that’s asking too much. The screen glows with an incoming call, and panic takes over.
Researching Everything Obsessively
Buying anything becomes this huge project. A lamp turns into thirty reviews and spreadsheets with pros and cons columns. Even the smallest, most trivial things receive the same treatment. None of that research makes deciding easier. It’s just stalling. Making the wrong pick seems catastrophic, so more information feels safer. Three weeks in, and vacuum specs are still scattered across the table.
Sleeping More Than Necessary
Sleep is essential, but sometimes it becomes an escape hatch. Sleeping through weekends or napping twice a day when there’s no physical reason. It’s easier than facing the day or the feelings that lie beneath. Bed becomes the safest place when everything else feels like too much. The alarm goes off and gets snoozed four times. Afternoons disappear under a blanket. Waking life feels harder than dreaming.
Scrolling Without Thinking
Sure, everyone wastes time on their phone. But some scrolling is different. Just numbing out. Thumb on autopilot through content that doesn’t register at all. Not entertainment. Not connection. Just static to fill the space so other thoughts can’t get in. Hours disappear. Nothing sticks. The same post shows up twice, and they don’t notice. Phone stays glued to their palm, getting warm.
Refusing Help From Anyone
Independence is valued, but some people take it to extremes. They won’t ask for a ride even when their car breaks down. Won’t mention they’re struggling even to close friends. Doing everything alone feels safer than owing someone or being vulnerable. Requiring help is often perceived as a weakness or burden. A sprained ankle gets walked on for days. The groceries get carried in five bags at once up three flights of stairs.
Talking Faster Than Normal
Some people’s words tumble out in a rush. Sentences run together, and thoughts skip ahead before finishing. It’s not always excitement. It’s anxiety leaking out through speech patterns. Talking quickly means less silence and a lower chance of interruption or judgment. The other person barely gets a word in. Breath comes short between sentences. A simple story takes twice as long because of all the detours and backtracking.
Needing Background Noise Constantly
Quiet feels wrong to some people. TV stays on in an empty room. Music is always playing somewhere—podcasts during every single activity. Silence lets thoughts creep in that they’d rather skip. Noise fills the space from waking up to falling asleep. A fan runs all night because total quiet is unbearable. They honestly can’t remember when their apartment last felt silent.
Starting Hobbies But Never Finishing
Closets and corners fill up with abandoned projects. Old yarn is still twisted around needles. A guitar with broken strings leaning in the corner. Sketchbook with five drawings and blank pages after. The beginning feels amazing because nothing has been judged yet—just pure possibility. Finishing means confronting whether it was good enough or worth the time. Easier to let it die and grab something new. The pottery wheel collects dust while the next thing takes over.
Being Everyone’s Therapist
Certain people are always available when someone’s falling apart. The friend who picks up at 2 AM. Everyone knows they’re good listeners. The fact is, their own problems rarely arise. Dealing with someone else’s mess feels simpler than facing their own. Gives them something to do and keeps their focus away from themselves. Another crisis text at midnight. Their rough day doesn’t get mentioned because someone else needs saving right now.
Rearranging Furniture Regularly
The living room gets reshuffled every couple of months. They slide the couch to another wall and swap the TV stand with the bookshelf. It creates a sense of progress without any actual change. Pushing furniture around generates a sense of control, and physical effort pulls attention away from what’s actually wrong. But the same pieces just occupy different spots in the same cramped space.