Bruno Pugh
Many people swear they’re “just keeping things open,” yet something in that claim feels a little too convenient. Sometimes staying uncommitted isn’t freedom at all but a way to avoid the discomfort that comes with choosing someone. So, let’s walk through moments where openness quietly shifts into hesitation, as those clues are worth noticing in your own patterns.
Rotating Careers Without Settling
Many people bounce between jobs like they’re switching playlists, saying it keeps life interesting. What’s harder to spot is how those fast exits may come from fear of feeling trapped. They don’t realize their “options open” mindset is really just avoidance, especially when stability starts to feel a little too close.
Serial Dating Under The Banner Of Exploration
Dating can look fun when someone jumps from one connection to the next, but the pattern usually repeats for a reason. Cutting things off right when feelings build is a common way to stay in control. Both avoidant and anxious styles can play into this, even if the person insists they’re just exploring.
Perpetual Renting Instead Of Buying
Some stick to renting because it feels lighter and more flexible. Well, the choice can reveal something deeper. This pattern often shows up in people who are uncomfortable with long-term commitments. Big decisions like owning a home bring a sense of permanence that feels heavy.
Avoiding Marriage By Embracing ‘Modern Relationships’
It’s common to hear someone call marriage outdated while praising nontraditional setups. Sometimes that’s genuine, and sometimes it’s a way to avoid feeling tied down. Fear of losing independence plays a big role here, and early attachment experiences can shape how serious partnerships feel later in life.
Refusing To Specialize In Education
Plenty of students hop between majors just to keep doors open. Underneath that, there can be real anxiety about picking the “wrong” path and getting stuck. While constant switching may look like curiosity, it actually reflects fear of settling on one direction and letting go of the rest.
Constantly Changing Cities
Moving city to city sounds adventurous, and usually it is. Other times, it’s a way to avoid planting roots. People talk about wanting new experiences, though the constant motion can hide discomfort with attachment. Early instability can also make staying put feel harder than starting over again somewhere new.
Keeping Friendships Casual
Some may stick to light, surface-level friendships because it feels easier. Opening up isn’t simple for everyone, especially when they fear getting hurt. Calling deeper friendships “too much drama” helps avoid closeness. However, it also blocks the kind of connections that make relationships feel real and grounded.
Dodging Parenthood By Labeling It ‘Closed-Minded’
Parenthood gets framed as a loss of freedom in a lot of conversations. For some, that covers up fear of long-term responsibility. Of course, raising a child leaves little room for endless flexibility, and avoiding that commitment can get disguised as staying open to possibilities.
Rejecting Long-Term Projects
Short tasks offer easy momentum, which is why people reach for them when commitment feels overwhelming. The real challenge appears when a project asks for sustained focus and risk. You might call the shift preference, but the avoidance keeps everything comfortable while preventing meaningful follow-through.
Non-committal Spiritual Practices
It’s easy to feel free while trying bits of different spiritual paths, yet never choosing one can hint at avoidance. Real commitment means letting your ideas be tested. When you stay open to everything without investing in anything, depth disappears, and your direction stays unclear.