Devin Jacobs
We’ve all met him—the guy who commands a room with charisma but leaves a trail of frustration behind. At first, he’s magnetic. Over time, though, the shine fades and the cracks appear. What looked like confidence was just a polished surface hiding something hollow underneath. The truth is, real character shows up in consistent patterns, not just first impressions. Here are 10 behaviors that reveal when a man’s confidence is covering up a serious lack of substance.
Blames Others For His Own Mistakes
Ever notice how some guys always have someone else to blame? His boss, his ex, the universe—anyone but himself. This mindset, known as an external locus of control, keeps him stuck. When a man refuses to own his mistakes, he also refuses the chance to grow.
Uses Manipulation To Control Others
Manipulation is his way of staying in control. Maybe he withholds information or makes you feel guilty for having a life outside him. These tactics create emotional confusion, and that’s exactly the point. If someone relies on control, it’s because they fear losing power.
Disrespects Boundaries
If he keeps pushing past your “no,” pay attention. A low-quality man doesn’t respect your time or limits. He expects you to drop everything for him, shows up late, or cancels plans like it’s no big deal. That’s entitlement in disguise.
Lacks Accountability In Relationships
He’ll forget promises and somehow make every issue your fault. Sound familiar? A man who can’t own his actions keeps relationships one-sided and exhausting. Without accountability, there’s no trust, just a constant cycle of excuses and disappointment dressed up as “misunderstandings.”
Seeks Validation Through Superiority
You can spot him a mile away, bragging about something trivial. For him, confidence is loud and performative. He needs to feel “above” others to feel good about himself and mistakes arrogance for self-worth.
Shows Disrespect Toward Women
If he jokes at your expense or constantly talks over you, that’s not “just his sense of humor.” It’s a red flag. Men who disrespect women reveal deep insecurity. Because confident men uplift women around them and treat them as equals.
Avoids Emotional Vulnerability
Ask him how he feels, and he’ll change the subject or make a joke. Such men keep emotions locked up tight for the fear of being open, which makes them weak. But without vulnerability, there’s just a surface-level version of intimacy that never lasts.
Displays Chronic Jealousy
That constant “Where are you?” or “Who were you with?” is insecurity. Jealousy this intense usually stems from low self-esteem and fear of abandonment. If a man needs to monitor your every move, it’s control wearing a romantic mask.
Lies To Maintain An Image
He “forgets” to mention his debt or edits stories to sound impressive. These small lies may seem harmless at first, but they pile up fast. Eventually, you’re not dating a person, but the image he’s desperate to protect.
Uses Anger As A Tool For Power
Anger, when used as control, is manipulation. A man who shouts during conflict is trying to reclaim power, not find a resolution. Psychologically, this signals emotional immaturity and a poor ability to self-regulate, often rooted in deep insecurity.