Lisa O
For some people, thoughts come and go. For overthinkers, they stick around, replaying, rewinding, and spiraling until every scenario has been dissected a hundred ways. It’s not a lack of intelligence or awareness. In fact, it’s usually the opposite. But living in a mind that never quiets down can make even small tasks feel exhausting. Here’s what overthinkers quietly wrestle with day after day.
Worrying about saying the wrong thing.
After any conversation, overthinkers replay every word they said, wondering if they came off as rude, awkward, or too much. A harmless joke or even a delayed text response can send their mind into a spiral. They assume they’ve upset someone, even when there’s no sign of trouble. One sentence from five hours ago can haunt them for the rest of the night.
Struggling to make decisions.
Even small choices like picking a dinner spot or choosing what to wear can feel like high-stakes decisions. Overthinkers worry about every possible outcome—what if they regret it, what if it inconveniences someone else, what if it says the wrong thing about them? They don’t want to make the best decision; they want to make the perfect one. And that pressure freezes them.
Reading too much into everything.
A short “k” in a text. A delayed response. A slightly different tone of voice. Overthinkers notice all of it and interpret it through every possible lens. They’re constantly trying to understand the meaning behind things. They don’t take things at face value, because their brain is always asking, “But what if there’s more to it?”
Having a hard time letting things go.
Most people move on. Overthinkers replay. A mistake they made two years ago can still pop into their mind at 2 a.m. They analyze past choices, failed conversations, and “what ifs” as if the outcome might suddenly change. Even when they know there’s nothing they can do, their brain keeps circling back. Closure isn’t just hard. It sometimes feels impossible.
Second-guessing themselves constantly.
Even after making a decision, overthinkers rarely feel at peace with it. They revisit the choice, consider alternatives, and imagine worst-case scenarios. They wonder if they should’ve handled it differently, even when everything went fine. Confidence isn’t about being unsure of their abilities; it’s about being stuck in a loop of “Was that the right call?” long after the moment has passed.
Apologizing for everything.
Overthinkers apologize not just for mistakes, but for inconveniences, misunderstandings, or even just existing. They don’t want to take up space or cause discomfort, and they worry that others might be secretly upset. So they over-apologize, hoping to cover every angle. Sometimes, they say “sorry” even when they haven’t done anything wrong—just to keep peace or avoid imagined conflict.
Feeling mentally exhausted by simple tasks.
Because their minds are constantly running, even easy things can become draining. A short email reply might take 15 minutes of rereading. A quick phone call becomes a rehearsed monologue. They’re always trying to account for every possible reaction. That level of mental work behind small tasks can leave them burned out by mid-afternoon.
Worrying about things that haven’t happened.
Worst-case scenarios are a daily exercise. Overthinkers don’t just imagine things going wrong—they feel them as if they’re already happening. Whether it’s losing a job, a relationship falling apart, or an awkward encounter, they’ve already lived through it ten times in their head. That imagined stress builds up, even if none of it ever comes true.
Over-preparing for everything.
They write drafts of messages before sending the “real” one. They anticipate follow-up questions before a meeting has even started. Overthinkers feel the need to be ready for every possible situation—not because they’re obsessive, but because uncertainty is overwhelming. Preparation gives them a sense of control, even if it takes extra time and energy no one else sees.
Taking forever to respond to messages.
Responding to a simple “Hey, how are you?” can feel like a test. Should they be casual or enthusiastic? How much detail is too much? Did the other person seem short last time? Overthinkers don’t mean to be distant. They’re just caught in the loop of “how do I say this right?” And by the time they decide, it often feels too late to reply at all.
Feeling like a burden.
They don’t want to ask for help, share too much, or be “too much” in general. Overthinkers often bottle things up because they assume others have enough to deal with. They replay their past interactions and convince themselves they were annoying or needy, even if no one said so. It’s not about self-pity—it’s about not wanting to feel like an added weight on someone else’s plate.
Dissecting compliments and praise.
Even kind words can set off a spiral. Overthinkers might question the motive behind a compliment or wonder if it was genuine. Did the person really mean it? Were they just being polite? Instead of letting praise land and settle, it gets picked apart until it loses its value. Accepting positivity often feels harder than accepting criticism.
Needing constant reassurance.
Because their minds always jump to what could go wrong, overthinkers sometimes look for reassurance to feel anchored. A simple “you’re okay” or “that’s fine” can calm a wave of inner chaos. But they often worry about needing too much reassurance, which creates a loop of self-doubt even about asking for clarity.
Trying to please everyone.
They don’t want to disappoint anyone, and they definitely don’t want to be misunderstood. So overthinkers often put others’ needs above their own, even when it stretches them thin. Saying no feels risky. Standing up for themselves feels like conflict. So they nod, agree, and overcommit, only to later spiral over why they did it, and how to fix it without upsetting anyone.
Beating themselves up for overthinking.
The cruel irony is this: overthinkers know they’re overthinking. They often tell themselves to stop, to relax, to let go, but their brain doesn’t cooperate. And when they can’t “just be chill,” they turn the frustration inward. They get angry at themselves for thinking too much, which only adds another layer to the very cycle they’re trying to escape.