Bruno Pugh
History has been twisted, sometimes wholly fabricated, mangled, dramatized, and occasionally it has been pure fiction. The past is packed with myths that refuse to die by clinging on like a nasty internet rumor. Think you know your U.S. history? Get ready because we’ll shatter some of the biggest whoppers you probably still believe.
The Declaration Of Independence Wasn’t Signed On July 4
The big, dramatic signing on July 4, 1776? Never happened. The document was approved that day, but most signatures weren’t added until August 2, and some trickled in even later. So, while fireworks explode on the Fourth, remember: the Founding Fathers were still procrastinating.
Christopher Columbus Didn’t Discover America
Let’s be honest: You can’t “discover” a place millions of people already live in. Columbus landed in the Caribbean, not North America, and never set foot in what’s now the U.S. Meanwhile, Norse explorer Leif Erikson was chilling in Canada nearly 500 years earlier.
Paul Revere Wasn’t A One-Man Show
History loves a solo act, even when there wasn’t one. While Revere gets all the glory, William Dawes and Samuel Prescott also rode out with warnings. And—plot twist—Revere didn’t even finish the job; he got captured. So much for the lone hero galloping through the night.
The Emancipation Proclamation Didn’t Free All Enslaved Folks
Abraham Lincoln’s 1863 Proclamation didn’t instantly free every enslaved person. It only applied to the Confederate States, where Lincoln had no control. Enslaved people in border states? Still stuck. The 13th Amendment, passed in 1865, was the real game-changer here because progress takes time (and a legal signature).
The Wild West Wasn’t That Wild
Forget the shootouts and saloons overflowing with outlaws; most frontier towns were surprisingly dull. Laws existed, and crime rates were lower than you’d expect. The Wild West wasn’t a daily duel-fest; Hollywood made it look cool. Sorry, cowboy fantasy ruined.
The Pilgrims Didn’t Invent Thanksgiving
Before the Pilgrims ever set foot on American soil, Native Americans celebrated harvest festivals for generations. And that famous 1621 feast? It probably featured venison, not turkey. So, next time you pile on the stuffing, give credit where it’s due—it wasn’t just the guys in buckled hats.
George Washington’s Teeth Weren’t Wooden
Washington’s dentures were made of ivory, gold, and—brace yourself—human teeth (yikes). The wooden teeth myth likely came from how his dentures stained over time. So, while he had dental struggles, splinters in his gums weren’t one of them.
The Liberty Bell Didn’t Crack On July 4, 1776
Cue the disappointment: The famous crack didn’t happen on Independence Day. The bell wasn’t even rung for the Declaration’s signing. The crack? It is likely a result of poor craftsmanship that worsened over time. This is another case of history rewriting itself for dramatic effect.
The American Dream Wasn’t Always Attainable
Hard work guaranteed success? Not quite. For much of U.S. history, huge parts of the population (like Black families, women, immigrants, Indigenous communities, and more) were redlined. That iconic white picket fence dream had a “No Entry” sign for millions.
Salem’s ‘Witches’ Weren’t Burned At The Stake
Despite what horror movies suggest, no one was burned during the Salem Witch Trials. Nineteen people were hanged, and one poor guy was crushed with stones. Burning was more of a European witch hunt thing. Salem was definitely brutal, but not in the way you think.