Lisa O
Dating trends keep on changing from time to time. But this change is not always for the better. The trends that may look fun or harmless to you can actually be pretty toxic. If you’ve ever found yourself feeling confused, hurt, or drained by modern dating, one of these trends might be to blame.
Ghosting – The Silent Goodbye
One day, you’re chatting like normal. The next day, your boyfriend disappears without a word—no explanation, just radio silence. Ghosting leaves you wondering what you did wrong when, in reality, it says more about them than you. It’s the easiest (and obviously rudest) way to avoid an uncomfortable conversation. If someone can’t even send a simple “Hey, this isn’t working out,” they were not worth your time.
Breadcrumbing – Keeping You on the Hook
Breadcrumbing is when someone strings you along with small bits of communication but never fully commits to a relationship. Most of the time, these crumbs appear online—they might like your Facebook photo, respond to an Instagram story, or send a funny meme. They may also say they want to meet up soon but never actually make any real plans.
Love Bombing – Too Much, Too Soon
At first, they’re all over you—back-to-back texts, grand gestures, and big promises about the future. Then they pull away suddenly, without any kind of warning. The person makes you feel special fast, only to take that attention away once you’re hooked. Real love builds over time, so if someone’s coming on way too strong, it’s okay to take a step back and check their intentions.
Benching – Keeping You as a Backup
Benching is when someone keeps you around as an “option” while they date other people (it’s a cruel thing to do). They don’t fully commit, but make sure you don’t lose interest either. You’ll get a random text here and there or an invite to hang out at the last minute—but never real effort. If someone is treating you like a backup plan, do yourself a favor and bench them instead.
Zombie-ing – When the Ghost Comes Back
You already know what ghosting is, and if you think it’s the worst thing someone could do, read this point. Zombieing is when the person who vanished on you suddenly comes back and acts like nothing ever happened. They might slide into your DMs to see if you are still interested. You see, if they ghosted you once, they’d probably do it again. Don’t let them waste your time.
Cushioning – Flirting While in a Relationship
Cushioning is keeping a safety net for potential partners while still being in a relationship. It’s not purely cheating, but it’s definitely something like that. They may be keeping a backup plan in case things with you don’t work out. But if someone is already preparing for their next relationship while still in one, how serious can they really be? A real relationship isn’t built on just-in-case options.
Situationships – All the Effort, No Commitment
You text every day, go on cute dates, maybe even meet each other’s friends—but when you bring up the “What are we?” talk, they dodge the question like a pro. Situationships can be okay if both people are on the same page, but often, one person is hoping for more while the other is just coasting. If they like you enough to enjoy the perks of a relationship but not enough to commit, you’re better off walking away.
Pocketing – When They Keep You a Secret
You’ve been seeing each other for a while, but you’ve never met their friends, family, or anyone in their life. Pocketing usually means one of two things: they’re not serious about you, or they don’t want the world to know they’re taken. Either way, if someone isn’t willing to bring you into their life, ask yourself why you’re in theirs.
Stashing – Acting Single Online
Some people are private, and that’s fine. But if they’re extra careful to make it seem like they’re single online—no posts about you, no pictures together, avoiding relationship questions—it might not be about privacy at all. Stashing is when someone keeps you out of their digital world so they can still appear available to others. If you feel hidden, it’s not just in your head—something’s up.
Future Faking – Saying All the Right Things (But Doing Nothing)
The big talks—trips together, meeting the family, moving in one day—but when is the time to actually do any of it? Crickets. Future faking is when someone makes promises about the future just to keep you emotionally hooked. They love the idea of commitment but not the work it takes to get there. If their actions don’t match their words, don’t stick around waiting for a future that isn’t coming.
R-Bombing – Ignoring You on Purpose
You text them, and they see it, but they don’t reply. But they’re still online, posting and chatting with everyone else. Maybe they’re busy, or maybe not. If this keeps happening all the time, it’s not bad timing. It’s them pushing you away without saying it. If someone can’t even send a quick “hey,” don’t wait around.
Paperclipping – When an Ex Randomly Pops Up
Paperclipping is when your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend suddenly comes back up out of nowhere. You don’t know why they’re back (sometimes, they don’t either). A paperclipper might actually like you, but the idea of a real relationship freaks them out. So they disappear to avoid their feelings (and you). But once they’ve had enough space, they show up again like nothing happened.
Negging – Insults Disguised as Compliments
Some people think the best way to get your attention is by subtly putting you down. These kinds of people will say things like, “You’re actually smart for someone who doesn’t read much,” or “I like that you’re not as dramatic as most girls.” It’s a sneaky way of lowering your confidence so you’ll crave their approval. But real attraction doesn’t come from making you feel small.
Roaching – When You Find Out There’s More
You think you’re dating one person—then you find out they’ve been seeing multiple people behind your back. Roaching is when someone hides the fact that they’re not exclusive, usually by being super vague about their life. The name comes from the creepy image of a roach problem—if you spot one, there are probably a lot more hiding where you can’t see them.
Slow Fading – The Coward’s Breakup
Unlike ghosting (where someone disappears suddenly), slow fading is more of a drawn-out exit. Texts get shorter, plans get canceled more often, and something starts feeling off to you (your heart knows what’s coming). Your partner won’t actually break up with you—they’ll just put in less effort until you get the hint. If you notice someone pulling away, don’t wait for them to fully disappear—walk away first.