Lisa O
Marriage is a journey with its highs and lows, but when the lows start to outweigh the highs, it can seem like there’s no way to fix things. If you’re torn between trying to save your relationship or letting it go—spotting the signs that a marriage can’t be saved can help clear things up. Here are ten signs that it might be time to think about moving on.
Constant Arguing
If you and your partner are always fighting, it’s not just about having different opinions. Constant bickering, especially when it turns into a shouting match or a competition over who’s right, can signal deeper issues. According to research, couples who have frequent, heated arguments are more likely to end up divorced. The constant negativity can really wear down your bond and trust.
Emotional Disconnection
Feeling emotionally distant from your partner is a big warning sign. When you stop sharing your thoughts, feelings, and daily experiences, it can create a huge gap between you. Dr. John Gottman, a top expert on relationships, says that emotional disconnection is a major predictor of divorce. If it feels like you’re living separate lives instead of sharing one—that’s a serious issue.
Infidelity
Infidelity can completely break the trust and security in a relationship. While some couples do manage to work through cheating, it often leads to divorce. Research reveals that about half of the couples who deal with infidelity end up splitting up. If cheating has happened and hasn’t been seriously dealt with, it could be a big sign that your marriage is in serious trouble.
Lack of Intimacy
Intimacy isn’t just about being physically close—it’s also about connecting emotionally. A study in the Journal of Marriage and Family shows that when intimacy starts to fade, it often points to bigger problems in the relationship. If physical touch and emotional closeness are becoming rare and neither of you is trying to fix it, your marriage might be in trouble.
Loss of Respect
Respect is essential in any relationship. When you or your partner constantly put each other down or criticize one another, it breaks down the respect that holds the relationship together. Dr. Terri Orbuch—a relationship expert—says that a lack of respect is a big red flag for marital problems. If respect is gone, it usually means there are deeper, unresolved issues at work.
Unresolved Conflicts
When conflicts keep piling up without being resolved, it creates a really toxic atmosphere. The American Psychological Association says that letting issues fester can lead to long-lasting resentment and unhappiness. If you and your partner keep ignoring problems instead of tackling them head-on—it’s a big red flag that your marriage might be in serious trouble.
Different Life Goals
Growing apart when it comes to life goals can signal serious trouble. If you and your partner have very different plans for the future, like differing career ambitions or opposing views on family life, it can create a real disconnect. Research shows that big differences in life goals and values often lead to marital dissatisfaction and divorce.
Addiction Issues
Addiction issues, whether they’re about drugs, gambling, or other behaviors, can put a huge strain on a marriage. The National Institute on Drug Abuse says that addiction often leads to more fights and emotional distance. Without proper help and support, overcoming addiction can be really tough and can seriously damage your relationship.
Constant Neglect
When one partner constantly ignores the other’s emotional, physical, or psychological needs, it can make the other person feel abandoned. Research shows that neglect can lead to major dissatisfaction in a marriage. If you regularly feel overlooked or undervalued, it’s a sign that the relationship might be falling apart and could be beyond repair.
Lack of Effort
A successful marriage takes effort from both partners. If neither of you is willing to put in the work to fix problems and improve the relationship, that’s a big red flag. Dr. John Gottman’s research shows that a lack of effort and commitment often means the relationship probably won’t last. If both of you have stopped trying—it might be time to rethink where the marriage is headed.