Tom Foster
You’ll want to take a look at these extremely funny jokes, even if they tend to be on the same level as dad jokes. They’re still hilarious.
Why are leopards not good at hide and seek?
Because they’re always spotted!
Why was the horse good at business?
Because it had a stable economy.
What’s the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle, and a poorly-dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire.
Recently took a poll.
99% of people were annoyed when their tent fell down
The universe is just free parking
There’s just so much space!
My landlord wanted to talk to me about how high my heating bills are.
I said, “Sure. My door is always open.”
What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don’t know, and I don’t care.
I got fired from my calendar factory job.
It was because I took a day off.
Dogs don’t have foreheads.
They only have one, duh.
My girlfriend has been complaining about her tooth hurting.
I told her it’s in her head.
I thought I could trick people into thinking I was younger by acting like my children.
Turns out I was just kidding myself.
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous!
I see we have a lot of new faces this week.
I’m so upset!
Someone stole my limbo stick! I mean, how low can you go?
I was once attacked by a group of mimes.
They did unspeakable things to me.
My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he’s 97 years old and we have no idea where the hell he is.
What did the ocean say when the beach asked him out?
Shore.
I don’t trust the sea…
…it looks fishy.
I really need to fix my watch but…
I never have the time
Women belong in the kitchen. Men belong in the kitchen. Everyone belongs in the kitchen.
The kitchen has food.
My renovator asked me if he can remove the mirrors in my living room.
I asked him to wait, I need to reflect…
Why don’t crabs donate to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
Have you heard the joke about Midas?
It was pure gold.
What’s an atom with a bad sense of humor?
Not a laughing matter.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
What makes a good pizza joke?
It’s all in the delivery.