Lisa O
No one likes dealing with the TSA line at the airport, but it’s something we all have to do these days. To keep everyone safe, agents have to run several security checks. This isn’t the time to joke around or use extreme language, as it could land you in big trouble. Whether it’s tasteless jokes or empty threats—keep those thoughts to yourself. Here are 15 things you should never say to a TSA agent.
Never joke about having a bomb
For clear reasons, never say you have a bomb, whether you’re joking or trying to cause a scene. Unfortunately, many people have made this mistake and faced severe consequences. Such threats can shut down entire airports, lead to your arrest, and cause major disruptions. It’s a huge hassle for both you and the airport staff—creating unnecessary chaos and delays.
Don’t argue with TSA agents
There’s no point in arguing with TSA agents—they have the final say. If you’re selected for extra security checks, staying calm and cooperating is the best approach. Making a scene will only upset the agents, raise suspicions, and could lead to being kicked out of the airport. There’s also the possibility of someone filming your behavior and spreading it online. You definitely don’t want to end up in a viral video labeled “Karen.”
Avoid mentioning guns or violence
Whether you’re frustrated by bad customer service, dealing with constant delays, or just trying to be funny, saying you have a firearm or plan to use one is a terrible idea. This kind of threat is taken very seriously and will likely be investigated by law enforcement. If mentioning a bomb can get you in serious trouble, talking about gun violence won’t be any different. You’ll end up in jail—we’re serious.
Don’t joke about security checks
It might seem silly if you’re picked for extra screening, like having your hands tested for chemical residue. You’re just an ordinary traveler trying to catch your flight. However, TSA agents treat these checks seriously, so making jokes about them isn’t a good idea and could lead to more scrutiny. There have been cases where this happened, so it’s best not to take any chances.
Don’t ask to pet TSA dogs
If you spot TSA dogs at the airport, remember they’re on duty and should not be petted, no matter how cute they look. These dogs are trained to focus on their tasks without distractions, so trying to interact with them can bother both the dog and its handler. And please don’t say “please” to the dog’s handler—let them do their work without interruptions.
Don’t blame TSA for lost items
TSA agents are not responsible for finding and returning your belongings if you leave them behind. It’s your responsibility to keep track of all your stuff and collect it all before leaving security. Expecting them to search your items for you is just not fair. Remember this, and you’ll maintain a good relationship with the TSA.
Don’t spread false scanner rumors
There used to be an airport scanner that exposed people to radiation, but it’s no longer in use. Despite misinformation and conspiracy theories, the scanners at airports today do not carry any health risks. If you believe they’re harmful, you’re repeating false information. So do not say that the scanner will give you cancer—it’s fake news.
Don’t insult an agent’s job
No matter what you personally think about the TSA—whether you see it as necessary security or as overly strict—don’t insult a TSA agent who’s simply doing his job. It’s okay to feel frustrated if you’re asked to pour out your soda but remember that agents are following rules they didn’t create. Venting your frustrations won’t change the situation for the better and might make things even more difficult.
Don’t ask for special treatment for your kids
While TSA agents get that kids will be kids, it’s crucial for parents to keep an eye on and manage their children. Kids running wild can stress out TSA and annoy other people in line. Make sure your kids behave well during flights—it’s your job. We’ve all seen those viral videos where a kid causes chaos on a plane and bothers everyone else.
Avoid joking about pat-downs
If you choose to have a pat-down or receive one after being scanned, don’t joke about it being enjoyable or turning you on. It’s probably awkward for both you and the TSA agent, so keep it professional and avoid making things uncomfortable. Such comments could be seen as sexual harassment. However, if you feel you’re being harassed, it’s best to report it to the authorities.
Don’t ask about personal topics
Just like you shouldn’t joke about the pat-down being an exciting experience, avoid asking TSA agents if they’re in the mile-high club. It’s inappropriate and none of your business. Besides, TSA agents don’t fly regularly, so it’s not even remotely amusing—it’s just harassment. Attempting to join the Mile High Club can disrupt passengers and flight crew, which is illegal and can lead to fines or even imprisonment.
Don’t try to bribe your way
We know it’s very tempting to ask a TSA agent if they’ll let you skip ahead of the security line for a bit of cash. However, it’s important to know they can’t do that—it’s against the rules. Besides, these agents have heard this kind of requests countless times, so it won’t be a surprise to them. It’s best to come early to avoid the stress of rushing and attempting to cut the line.
Don’t tell all your jokes
While some TSA agents are friendly and open to light-hearted jokes, it’s really important to avoid joking about serious topics. As we said before, making jokes about terrorism or bombs is taken seriously by TSA, and it could result in being questioned. These agents work very hard all day and prefer to complete their tasks without disruptions. Sharing funny stories that touch on serious matters might annoy or upset them.
Avoid being overly talkative
If you’re a talkative person, it’s best to keep it down at a TSA checkpoint. Agents might get suspicious if you talk a lot because they could think you’re trying to distract them. It’s better to be polite and keep moving. You can chat with your fellow passengers if they feel like talking, but otherwise, we suggest you stay quiet.
Don’t mention being drunk
Airports are known for being more relaxed about social rules. Drinking alcohol bought from duty-free shops in the departure area is allowed. However, if you drink too much and appear too drunk to fly—it could be a big problem. It’s wise not to mention your drinking at security. Intoxicated passengers might cause disruptions and could be told to leave the airport.