Lisa O
Let’s face it: turning 50 is not some kind of magical point where people become fragile or irrelevant. It’s just another chapter, and most people over 50 are living their best lives. So, if you want to keep conversations fresh, avoid these cringe-worthy remarks—and the eye-rolls they’ll inevitably earn. Here are 15 things you should never say to a person over 50.
“That’s not really your style, is it?”
What’s that supposed to mean? If someone in their 50s feels great rocking a mini-skirt, why should it bother anyone else? Who decided that older people can’t dance in public, drive flashy sports cars, or stay out late? Fun isn’t reserved for the young, and honestly, older folks would appreciate it if you kept those judgmental looks to yourself.
“You don’t look a day over 40!”
Let’s think this through. If someone is 55 and you tell them they don’t look their age, you’re really saying that you have no clue what a 55-year-old looks like. Sure, you might mean it as a compliment, but there’s an unintentional jab in there, too. Essentially, you’re suggesting it’s great that they don’t look their age because being their age must be a bad thing.
“You’ll probably live forever!”
Believe it or not, plenty of people don’t want to stick around forever. They want to live healthier lives, not just longer ones. What matters is being free from any kind of illness, being able to take care of themselves, and having a sense of purpose. The idea of being locked away somewhere, without any memory of their loved ones, is nobody’s idea of a good time.
“You’re aging so well!”
The phrase “aging gracefully” is often just code for “not looking your age,” and honestly, that needs to stop. There’s nothing wrong with looking your age—so let’s drop the idea that there is. True grace in aging comes from being comfortable in your own skin, and that’s tough to achieve when there’s nonstop pressure to appear younger.
“Aren’t you a little too old for that?”
Seriously? Older people are constantly trying new things. Like the 103-year-old man who tied the knot with his 91-year-old sweetheart or the 79-year-old Irish grandma who slipped out of her retirement home to get a tattoo. Sure, most aren’t skydiving every weekend, but they haven’t hit the pause button on life. That’s the point—older people are out here having fun, and many of them are planning to keep it up well into their 90s and beyond.
“Grandma, you’re so cute!”
Puppies and kittens playing with yarn? Adorable. Older people? Not so much. Words like “adorable” and its friend “cute” are downright condescending when used to describe someone who deserves your respect. Seriously, think about it. The first few million times were more than enough—it wasn’t clever then, and it definitely isn’t now.
“Gray hair would suit you!”
Funny how most people who comment on this are in their 20s, rocking gray hair as a fashion trend. For older women, stopping or skipping coloring is a deeply personal decision. Your opinion? It doesn’t factor in, so there’s no need to share it. This is a sensitive topic, and only they know what feels right for us. Debating whether to color or not is pointless.
“I’m not sure you’d fit in here.”
When you say “cultural fit,” do you mean that because older people probably won’t hit up karaoke night, their 20-something coworkers might feel awkward, so you just won’t hire them? Or is it because they’re around your mom’s age, and you’ve decided they can’t be innovative or creative? Or maybe you assume they’re tech-challenged and wouldn’t know how to upload a photo from their phone? Let’s call it what it is—ageism—and it needs to stop.
“I keep meaning to sign up for my 401k, but…”
People in their 20s and 30s have time to impact their retirements. We get it—retirement feels like it’s light years away; it felt that way for us too. But trust us, it’ll sneak up on you, and you must be ready. Fully fund your 401k and save money for your future self. For a lot of them, it’s too late, and hearing you whine about it takes them back to their own mistakes.
“When will you retire?”
The real issue with this question isn’t that younger people are particularly eager to hear our sob stories about not being able to retire, but that it’s sometimes asked while they’re measuring our desks for fit. Boomers have always been blamed for clogging up the workforce and taking jobs that someone younger wants. That’s no reason to walk away from jobs older people love and can still do.
“How are the grandkids doing?”
This one’s a tricky question. While some over-50s love being grandparents, others may not have grandkids—or even kids. Assuming they’re defined by their family roles can feel reductive. Instead, dive into what they’re passionate about, whether painting, hiking or that cooking class they’ve been raving about. You’ll get a much richer conversation.
“Aren’t you worried about getting older?”
For many older people out there, aging isn’t a nightmare—it’s freedom. They’re more confident, less worried about trivial opinions, and often in the best phase of their lives. Instead of projecting your fears, ask them about their perspective on aging. You may learn a thing or two about embracing life’s changes with grace and humor.
“I bet you don’t know how to use this app, right?”
Some of the founders of big tech companies are now over 50, and they’re still pushing the envelope. A lot of people in this age group are running businesses, creating content, or building online communities. So if you think they’re tech-illiterate, think again—they’re probably already two steps ahead of you on that new app.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
This phrase reeks of doubt. Say it out loud, and you will see what’s wrong. Whether learning a new language or tackling a physical challenge, they’ve earned the right to push boundaries. Did you know the world’s oldest marathon runner, Fauja Singh, started running at 89? People over 50 don’t need your permission to aim high.
“At your age, you really should…”
This phrase never ends well. Whether you’re about to offer unsolicited advice or critique their choices, it’ll come off as dismissive. They’ve likely heard it all before—and probably ignored it. Try ditching the qualifier and focusing on the person in front of you. Age is just one small piece of the puzzle.