Lisa O
It’s quite easy to make someone not like you, whether you’re interacting online or in person. Sharing very personal details too early or keeping your feelings hidden can unintentionally push people away. Even factors like body odor or having a difficult-to-pronounce name—which you can’t change, can put others off. Below, we’re listing 15 things you do that make people dislike you.
Sharing excessive photos on social media
If you’re someone who posts pictures of your honeymoon, cousin’s wedding, and dog in a Halloween costume all in one day, it might be wise to cut back. A study from 2013 discovered that sharing too many photos on Facebook can damage your relationships in real life. It happens because people don’t connect well with those who always post lots of personal photos.
Revealing personal details too early in a friendship
You know how when you open up to someone, it often brings you closer? Well, for adults, sharing personal stuff is a great way to make friends. But here’s the thing: spill too much too soon—like revealing your sister’s affair to a new friend—and it can make you seem unsure of yourself, which might not help your likability. The key is to share just enough personal stuff when the time feels right.
Only asking questions without sharing anything about yourself
In 2013, a study discovered something important about sharing personal stuff to bond: it works best when both people do it. If you don’t share back when someone tells you something personal, they might not like you as much. In the study, strangers either took turns talking about themselves for 12 minutes each or had a back-and-forth conversation. The ones who chatted back and forth ended up liking each other a lot more.
Using a close-up photo for your profile picture
If your LinkedIn photo shows your face very close to the camera, it might be a good idea to switch it up. Research from California Institute of Technology found that faces photographed too close-up — about 1.5 feet away — are seen as less trustworthy, attractive, and competent compared to those photographed from about 4.5 feet away.
Always making everything about yourself
Let’s face it: we all prioritize ourselves in life—it’s natural. But how much is too much? Nobody likes someone who’s overly self-centered. A narcissist who functions at a high level can really disrupt your life without feeling any kind of guilt. Instead, focus on giving others the attention they deserve, and you’ll find people will appreciate and value you more.
Seeing the negative side of every situation
Try to see the positive side of every situation. Believe that your efforts will pay off and things will improve. Even if things don’t go as planned, always train yourself to believe that something good can still come from it. In a world that can sometimes seem gloomy, people don’t usually enjoy being around those who always point out the negatives.
Canceling plans at the last minute
Few things are as frustrating as someone who agrees to do something and then backs out at the last minute. If you know you might not follow through, it’s better to say no upfront. People will appreciate your honesty. Being unreliable can seriously hurt relationships because it undermines trust. Small actions, like keeping your word, are crucial in building trust with others.
Telling lies or pretending to be someone you’re not
Here’s the thing: Lying breaks trust and can hurt very deeply. Some people lie habitually, big or small because they feel compelled or insecure. It’s important to always be truthful and genuine—never pretend to be someone you’re not. We all cherish honest people because we can rely on them and trust that they have our best interests at heart.
Gossiping about others behind their backs
We all enjoy a bit of gossip now and then—men and women alike! But if most of your conversations revolve around others and their lives, it’s time to reconsider. Gossiping, in any form, can harm both the person being talked about and the gossiper themselves. It can also erode trust if people see us sharing personal stories or details about others.
Swearing excessively in conversations
Have you ever met someone who uses swear words so often that they pepper their speech with them constantly? It can be pretty cringeworthy! While it’s okay to swear occasionally, it shouldn’t dominate your conversations. Everyone has their own comfort level with language. Some people might feel pretty uncomfortable even with mild words like ‘hell’ or ‘damn.’ It’s very important to be mindful of others’ preferences when choosing your words.
Avoiding eye contact during conversations
Always remember to make eye contact when you’re talking to someone. It makes them feel important, respected, and secure. If you avoid eye contact, it can give the impression that you’re bored or hiding something—even if you’re not. Eye contact helps both people stay focused on the conversation and understand each other’s facial expressions better. This understanding can really boost communication between two people.
Constantly feeling sorry for yourself
Always feeling sorry for yourself can push even the kindest person away. Others are often willing to cheer you up and offer encouragement. But if you keep rejecting their support and continue to dwell on self-loathing, you might end up pushing them away. Self-pity can make it seem like your own minor problems matter more than much larger issues elsewhere in the world.
Not paying attention to people when they speak
We all have a lot on our minds, and so do the people around us. If you don’t pay attention to them—they notice. Soon, you might find yourself feeling disconnected. So stop letting distractions like texting or wandering thoughts take over. Instead, focus on being present in the moment and enjoy spending time with the people around you.
Humblebragging about your achievements
Some people try to impress friends and job interviewers by pretending to criticize themselves but end up bragging instead. This trick, called “humblebragging,” can backfire. In a study, college students were asked how they would answer a question about their biggest weakness in a job interview. Surprisingly, over three-quarters of them humblebragged, often saying things like they were too much of a perfectionist or worked way too hard.
Always showing up late to events
It’s totally fine to be late occasionally, but don’t make it a regular thing. You could end up missing something important or disappointing someone. Try to be on time or even a bit early. Being late shows disrespect to others. It suggests that your time is more important than theirs, which can be very hurtful in meetings, events, or any kind of gathering. It’s super important to show consideration for everyone’s time—not just your own.