Lisa O
Dating someone from a different background can be a learning experience, and dating a Mormon is no exception. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (commonly referred to as the Mormon Church) has unique traditions, but at the end of the day, Mormons are individuals with their own personalities, beliefs, and approaches to dating. If you’re curious about what to expect, here are some things to know.
They Likely Don’t Drink Alcohol
Many Mormons follow the Word of Wisdom, a health code that discourages alcohol, coffee, tea, and tobacco. This means your date may skip the wine at dinner, but they won’t mind if you have a drink yourself (depending on their personal views). The upside? They’ll always be your designated driver!
Sundays Are Set Aside for Church and Family
Sundays are a special day for Mormons, often dedicated to worship, rest, and time with family. Many attend church services in the morning and spend the rest of the day with loved ones. While this might mean fewer Sunday brunches, you’ll likely be invited to join in on family dinners, which are often warm and welcoming gatherings.
They May Have Served a Mission
Many young Mormon men and some women choose to serve as missionaries for 18 months to two years, often traveling to different parts of the world. If your date is a returned missionary, they probably have fascinating stories about their experiences and might even speak another language.
Family Is a Big Deal
Mormon culture places a strong emphasis on family. If your relationship gets serious, expect to meet the family early on and be welcomed into gatherings. Many Mormons have strong ties with extended relatives, so family reunions and game nights might become part of your routine.
Modesty Is a Personal Choice
Some Mormons follow religious guidelines that encourage dressing modestly, while others dress like anyone else. It’s a personal decision, not a judgment on others’ fashion choices. If your date follows modesty guidelines, you may notice they prefer clothing with more coverage, but they won’t expect you to change your style.
Coffee and Tea Might Be Off the Table
The Word of Wisdom also advises against coffee and tea, though soda and other caffeinated drinks are usually fine. This might mean skipping traditional coffee dates, but it opens the door for creative alternatives—smoothie runs, hot chocolate, or trying one of Utah’s famous soda shops.
Many View Dating as a Step Toward Marriage
While not everyone rushes to the altar, many Mormons date with long-term commitment in mind. If they introduce you to their family, talk about their future goals, or express interest in faith-based values, they’re likely considering a serious relationship. Clear comm
unication about expectations is always a good idea.
Some Have a Temple Recommend
Some practicing Mormons hold a temple recommend, which allows them to enter LDS temples for special religious ceremonies. Temple worship is deeply sacred and not open to the general public. If your relationship gets serious, discussions about religious beliefs and compatibility may naturally arise.
Living Together Before Marriage Is Uncommon
Many Mormons choose not to live together before marriage due to religious beliefs about chastity. While this may be different from mainstream dating culture, it’s important to respect their values. Every relationship is unique, so conversations about lifestyle and expectations should happen early on.
Temple Weddings Are Private, but Receptions Are Big
If your partner chooses to get married in a temple, the ceremony itself will be limited to those with temple recommends. However, there’s almost always a reception afterward, and these gatherings tend to be lively, family-filled celebrations with food, dancing, and music.
Tithing Is a Part of Their Faith
Practicing Mormons give 10% of their income to their church, a practice known as tithing. This supports church programs, humanitarian efforts, and the construction of temples. If you’re in a serious relationship, financial discussions will naturally come up, and understanding their commitment to tithing is an important part of the conversation.
Profanity May Be Avoided
While every individual is different, many Mormons try to avoid swearing as part of their effort to maintain clean speech. Some use substitutes like “shoot” or “dang it.” If they flinch at an F-bomb, it’s not about being judgmental—it’s just a personal choice.
Emergency Preparedness Is Common
Many Mormon families practice food storage and emergency preparedness. This stems from a church’s emphasis on self-reliance and being ready for unexpected situations. While not everyone has a year’s worth of canned goods, don’t be surprised if they keep extra supplies in their pantry.
Church Involvement Can Be Time-Consuming
The LDS Church operates without a paid clergy, meaning members take on volunteer roles called “callings.” Your partner might teach Sunday school, help organize events, or lead youth activities. These responsibilities can take up time, but they also foster a strong sense of community.
Game Nights Are a Big Social Activity
Instead of bars or nightclubs, many Mormon social gatherings revolve around board games, group activities, or outdoor adventures. If you’re dating a Mormon, expect to be invited to game nights where classics like Settlers of Catan, Code Names, or Uno take center stage.
They May Wear Temple Garments
Some Mormons who have made sacred covenants in the temple wear temple garments under their clothing. These are a private religious symbol and are deeply meaningful to those who wear them. If you notice that they always wear undershirts or certain styles, it’s best to be respectful and avoid making assumptions.
Friendships From Their Mission Last a Lifetime
If they served a mission, they likely formed deep bonds with their fellow missionaries. Expect occasional check-ins from old mission companions, inside jokes about their mission country, and maybe even reunions with people they haven’t seen in years.
Pioneer Day Is a Big Deal in Utah
July 24th, known as Pioneer Day, celebrates the early Mormon pioneers’ arrival in Utah. If your date is from Utah or has family there, don’t be surprised if this holiday involves parades, fireworks, and a second round of Fourth of July-style celebrations.
Interfaith Relationships Can Require Open Conversations
Some Mormons prefer to date within their faith, while others are open to interfaith relationships. If your beliefs differ, it’s good to discuss expectations early on. Open, respectful dialogue about values, traditions, and future plans can help both partners understand each other better.
They’re Individuals, Not Stereotypes
At the end of the day, Mormons are just like anyone else—each person has unique interests, dreams, and quirks. While faith plays an important role in their lives, they also love music, movies, travel, and adventure. Dating a Mormon can be a meaningful and rewarding experience, and like any relationship, it’s all about communication and mutual respect.