Lisa O
Time sure has a way of slipping by us sometimes. One minute, you’re a kid playing with your favorite action figure and watching the newest cartoon show. The next minute, you’re struggling to make ends meet and wondering what had happened. Let’s discuss 30 things that will make you feel old and possibly long for the good ol’ days.
The oldies station rotation
Back in the day, you could tune into the oldies station and listen to all of your classic rock from the 60s and 70s. If you listen to that station now, prepare to hear Nirvana, Blink-182, or even Britney Spears. What in the world?! The stuff you consider “classic” is what the radio stations now play as “old” music.
Old video games
Did you grow up in the 80’s or 90’s? Of course, you did; you’re alive! Now, all the video games you play are considered retro and are being priced accordingly. You can’t go into a vintage shop without seeing Super Mario Bros., Sonic the Hedgehog, or even Pokemon Red and Blue staring back at you from behind a display case. It’s even weirder when you see them selling online for hundreds of dollars.
Best friend who’s now a mom
You’re browsing Facebook, minding your own business, when suddenly you see a post from your best friend from growing up announcing the birth of their child. You have to do a double-take and maybe even rub your eyes. “Wait…how old are we again?” you think to yourself. The days of playing tag and having slumber parties are over. That friend you shared everything with is now a great-grandma. Time, where did you go?
“NOOOORM!”
If you grew up watching the classic 80s sitcom Cheers, then the mention of the name Norm should send you into a Pavlovian response of yelling, “NOOOORM!” However, if you’re under the age of 35, that joke is going to go right over your head. Pop culture references that everyone can understand are slowly becoming extinct.
Iconic pop stars have passed you by
This one will surely bring down your self-actualization quicker than mohawked punk rockers at a pie-eating contest. You mention Prince, Madonna, or George Michael to a younger coworker or acquaintance, and you get a response of complete and utter unfamiliarity. You’re then forced to say something like, “You know, the guy who sang that song Faith?” Iconic pop stars that you grew up with are not automatically timeless like Elvis.
That old woman?
There’s nothing like a well-placed “That old woman?” joke from a younger person to refer to an actress you grew up watching or listening to. It’s like a kick in the gut that reminds you that time is passing you by and the young starlets of your past are now considered “that old woman.” You do the math in your head, trying to figure out how old they really are, and then realize they could be grandparents.
When the 9th graders were born
Are you a teacher? If so, you’re sure to choke on your breakfast when you hear the birth year of the current ninth-grade class. Those kids were born in a different decade than you! They weren’t even alive when you were preparing to graduate high school. They have no idea what life was like before the invention of the smartphone and social media. You suddenly feel like you’re Benjamin Button living in the year 3015.
Your dentist is slightly younger than you
This one will make your skin crawl when you schedule a dentist appointment and discover the horror that they are younger than you. The torch has been passed to a new generation of workers, and you’re not the young, up-and-coming talent anymore. You’re the old, set in their ways, who can’t learn new tricks and talent. You’re thinking, “How could someone this young possibly know how to care for my teeth?
I’m the F to the E-R-G, the I, the E!
If you’re old enough to remember Fergie’s verse in the Black Eyed Peas hit song “Fergalicious,” congratulations—you’re officially old. The song was released in 2006 and is now considered a throwback jam when played at parties or on the radio. You’ll hear people laughing as the song comes on instead of getting hyped and pumped up like the video shows.
Reboots and remakes
Every classic movie and TV show from our childhoods is getting remade or rebooted. From “Fuller House” to “Ghostbusters: Afterlife,” producers are counting on nostalgia to sell tickets. But for those who grew up watching the originals, many of these reboots are a bittersweet reminder of how old we’re getting. If you feel both thrilled and old of every time you hear about a new reboot, you’re not alone.
Athletes are younger and younger
Are you a sports fan? If so, you’re sure to choke on your sports beverage when you notice that the athletes on your favorite teams are now younger than you. They weren’t even alive when your favorite athletes were getting ready to graduate high school. You suddenly feel like you’re on the outside looking in as you watch this new era of athletes who are younger and more athletic than you dominate their respective sports.
The 9/11 history lesson
If you were old enough to stay aware of the events on September 11th, 2001, then you will never forget where you were and what you were doing when you heard the news of the attacks. However, to the younger generations, 9/11 is nothing but a day to learn about in school, like Pearl Harbor or the JFK assassination. You realize that the events that defined your life are now considered history lessons.
Babies in the 2000’s
If you’re a millennial, then you’re sure to be in awe at the fact that babies born in the 2000s are now considered adults. They’re the babies raised with smartphones, social media, and streaming. They’ve never known a world without the internet. It’s like the saying goes, “The only constant in our life is change.” The things that defined your childhood are now a distant memory to an entire generation.
Younger sibling turns [insert milestone birthday here]
There’s nothing like the horror of realizing that your younger sibling is now the age you were when you first left the nest and began adulting. Whether it’s their 30th birthday or their first gray hair, it’s going to hit you like a truck. Suddenly, you’re going to start giving them advice about mortgages and 401(k)s, and then you realize you still feel like a child.
You’ve had your car longer than some adults have been alive
If you’re old enough to drive a car that’s old enough to vote, then congratulations, you’re officially old. You’ve likely had your trusty vehicle longer than some of your coworkers or friends have been alive. You find yourself telling stories of a time before backup cameras and touchscreens, only to realize that they have no idea what you’re referring to.
You meet people who don’t know how to use a landline
If you’ve ever had one of those moments where you watch a younger person fumble and struggle to use a landline phone, then you know you’re old. The technology that you grew up with is now considered outdated, and you find yourself explaining things like dial tones and busy signals. Those concepts are foreign to a generation that has only known cell phones and texting.
You don’t know the current celebrities
The horrible realization that you have no idea who the current celebrities are. You know you’re getting old if you often have a blank stare when a younger person talks about their favorite celebrity or trending topic on social media. The world of entertainment is ever-changing, and the celebrities of your youth are now old news. But hey, at least you can still read Tiger Beat magazine.
Cell phones
Back in the day, cell phones were about the size of a brick, and they could only send voice messages to another phone. Now, smartphones are mini-computers that we carry around in our pockets. It’s absolutely mind-boggling to think about how technology has changed in the span of just a few decades. If you ever find yourself talking about the good old days of flip phones and T9 texting, then you know you’re officially old.
Social media
If you can remember a time before Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, then congratulations—you are a dinosaur. Social media has completely changed the way we communicate and disseminate information, and you can’t imagine a time before it. But if you’re finding yourself wishing for the days of face-to-face conversation and handwritten letters, you might be showing your age.
The mall
For most of us, the mall was a staple of our teenage years. You would drive or walk there with friends to hang out and try on clothes. Maybe you scored a date with that cute girl or guy from across the food court. However, with the advent of online shopping and the decline in brick-and-mortar retail stores, the mall is quickly becoming a thing of the past.
Saturday morning cartoons
If you grew up in the 80s or 90s, then you know that Saturday mornings were all about cartoons. From “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” to “Animaniacs,” there were plenty of colorful characters and awesome theme songs to keep us entertained. But with the advent of streaming services, Saturday morning cartoons are now a thing of the past. If you often find yourself getting nostalgic for the days of “Recess” and “Doug,” then you know you’re officially old.
Physical media
Remember when we used to buy CDs and DVDs? Now, everything is downloaded digitally, and physical media is becoming a thing of the past. If you find yourself clinging to your old VHS tapes and cassette tapes for dear life, then you’re not alone. But let’s face it: the future is streaming, and we’re all just along for the ride.
E-books
On the topic of physical media, remember when books were made from good old paper? Kindles and other e-readers have completely changed how we enjoy reading. If you often miss the smell of a new book or the feeling of turning a page, you might be showing your age. But hey, at least you can carry an entire library around with you.
The video rental store
If you remember spending your Friday nights browsing the aisles of Blockbuster or Hollywood Video, then you know you’re officially old. Netflix and other streaming services have made video rental stores a thing of the past. If you often find yourself getting nostalgic for the days of late fees and rewinding VHS tapes, then you know you’re officially old.
The dating scene
Remember when you had to actually talk to a person in real life to ask them out? Now, with the invention of dating apps like Tinder and Bumble, you can swipe right on your soulmate from the comfort of your couch. If you often find yourself longing for the days of blind dates and mixtapes, then you know you’re officially old. But hey, at least you don’t have to worry about getting stood up at the movie theater.
Reality TV
From “The Bachelor” to “The Real Housewives,” reality television has become extremely popular these days. If you don’t remember when drama series and comedies were the most common shows on air, you might be feeling a little old. While some yearn for the “good ole days” of more traditional dramas and comedies, there’s no doubt reality TV is here to stay, and whether you love it or hate it, it’s not going anywhere soon.
Fashion trends
Oh yeah, you remember acid-washed jeans and those neon windbreaker jackets? Those are back in style. In fact, they’re considered vintage now and sell for big bucks at hip thrift shops. If you look at current trends and think, “I had that in middle school,” you’re officially old. But you can brag that you were cool first.
Streaming services
Are you old as hell if you remember a time before Netflix and Hulu? Yes, you are. Streaming has revolutionized television and film, and there’s no turning back. If you’re complaining about the good old days when you had to make note of what was on TV tonight and wait four days to talk about it at the water cooler, you’re old.
Tamagotchi
Remember the Tamagotchi? If you do, then you’re old enough to have experienced the joy, excitement, and occasional frustration that came with keeping a virtual pet alive. Back in the 90s, this simple digital toy managed to captivate an entire generation. It taught us about responsibility and time management before we even knew what those words meant.
Time itself
Maybe the biggest thing that makes us old is time itself. We can’t believe the ’90s have been over for 20 years or that the Y2K scare was 20 years ago. But time goes on, whether we want it to or not. And while it’s bittersweet to look back and see how much we’ve missed, it’s also nice to see how far we’ve come and all the new things we can experience in the future.