Lisa O
Divorce is tough. Emotions run high, decisions get rushed, and sometimes, people make choices they wish they hadn’t. Looking back, many realize there were things they could’ve done differently. Here are 15 common regrets people have about how they handled their divorce — so you can avoid them if you’re going through one.
Letting Emotions Take Over
Ever sent a heated text and immediately regretted it? Now, imagine doing that during a divorce. Many people look back and cringe at how they let anger, frustration, or sadness control their actions. Some burned bridges they later wished they hadn’t, while others made snap decisions just to “win” an argument. The truth? Acting out of emotion might feel satisfying in the moment, but it can lead to long-term consequences.
Not Hiring the Right Lawyer
Not all lawyers are created equal. Some people go with the cheapest option or hire a family friend to save money, only to realize later that their lawyer wasn’t equipped to handle the complexities of their case. A good divorce attorney doesn’t just know the law — they understand the emotional stakes, too. People often regret not interviewing multiple lawyers or trusting their gut when they felt a disconnect.
Fighting Over Small Stuff
You wouldn’t believe how many divorces spiral into heated battles over things like who gets the toaster or that old couch. One woman shared how she spent thousands in legal fees arguing over a set of vintage wine glasses — only to break them during the move. In hindsight, many realize that focusing on the bigger picture (like financial stability and custody arrangements) is far more important than the little things.
Ignoring Finances
Divorce isn’t just about dividing your assets; it’s also about planning for your financial future. Some people blindly sign agreements without fully understanding what they’re giving up — like retirement funds or hidden debts. Others forget about taxes (another financial nightmare). One man realized too late that keeping the family home came with property taxes he couldn’t afford, leading to foreclosure.
Not Prioritizing the Kids
It’s heartbreaking how often kids become collateral damage in divorces. Parents sometimes use them as messengers (“Tell your dad to pay me on time”) or vent their frustrations about the other parent within earshot. Years later, many realize how much this hurt their children. Kids handle divorce better when parents maintain a united front and avoid dragging them into the conflict.
Skipping Therapy
Divorce is a mental and emotional rollercoaster, but many people try to tough it out alone. One woman shared how she didn’t seek therapy until months after her divorce was finalized, only to realize she had been carrying unresolved anger and grief. Whether it’s individual counseling or co-parenting therapy, having a professional to help you navigate your emotions can make a huge difference.
Dragging It Out
Some divorces turn into long, drawn-out battles — not because they have to, but because one or both parties refuse to let go. Whether it’s holding onto anger or using the process as a way to stay connected (even negatively), dragging it out only leads to more stress and legal fees. People often regret not pushing for a quicker, cleaner break once they realize how much emotional and financial damage the prolonged process caused.
Oversharing on Social Media
In the age of Facebook and Instagram, it’s tempting to post vague, angry quotes or even full-on rants about your ex. But social media posts can and do get used in court — especially in custody battles. One dad regretted posting pictures of himself drinking heavily on weekends, which his ex used to question his parenting. Keeping the messy details offline is always the safer bet.
Not Setting Clear Boundaries
Divorce doesn’t end all interactions, especially when kids are involved. Without boundaries, things can get messy fast — like an ex dropping by unannounced or texting at odd hours. One couple ended up co-parenting smoothly only after they created strict guidelines about communication (emails only for non-urgent matters) and set expectations around pick-ups and drop-offs.
Underestimating Emotional Impact
Some people go into divorce thinking, “I’ll be fine. I wanted this.” But emotions often hit like a tidal wave after the paperwork is done. The house feels too quiet. Holidays become complicated. Many regret not preparing themselves emotionally for life post-divorce — especially when loneliness or guilt creeps in unexpectedly.
Letting Friends and Family Influence Decisions
It’s natural to turn to loved ones for advice, but sometimes, too many voices can make things worse. Friends might push you to “fight for everything,” while family could urge you to settle quickly. One man regretted taking his brother’s advice to pursue full custody out of spite — only to realize he’d made things harder on everyone, including his kids.
Jumping Into a New Relationship Too Soon
Rebound relationships feel great… until they don’t. It’s tempting to fill the void with someone new, but many people laterregret not giving themselves time to heal first. One woman shared how she rushed into a new relationship post-divorce, only to realize she was repeating the same patterns that led to her marriage breaking down.
Neglecting Self-Care
Divorce can drain you — emotionally, mentally, and physically. Some people stop eating properly, lose sleep, or abandon hobbies they once loved. Looking back, many regret not taking simple steps to care for themselves during the chaos. One man found that just going for daily walks helped clear his head and brought a sense of normalcy during an otherwise turbulent time.
Being Too Nice (or Too Aggressive)
It’s a delicate balance. Some people are so eager to “keep the peace” that they give up too much — like agreeing to unfair custody schedules or financial terms. Others go full-on aggressive, turning the divorce into a battle. In both cases, people often regret not finding that middle ground where they could stand their ground respectfully.
Not Planning for Life After Divorce
The divorce papers are signed… now what? Many people focus so much on getting through the divorce that they don’t think about life afterward. Simple things — like budgeting for one income, finding a new place to live or rebuilding social circles — get overlooked. One woman realized too late that she had no idea how to handle finances, leading to months of stress trying to figure it all out alone.