Devin Jacobs
According to Terry & Roberts, a reputable family law firm, about 41% of first marriages end in divorce, and about 60% of second ones usually hit the rock, too. This sobering statistic highlights the fragility of what many believe to be the most ‘unbreakable’ bond. While we often hear about the dramatic reasons for divorce, such as cheating, abuse, and financial ruin, some of the most seemingly insignificant habits could be just as destructive. Here are 15 such tiny bad habits that, if left unchecked, can destroy even the most resilient unions.
Neglecting Small Acts of Kindness
Holding the door open or saying thank you might seem trivial, but these small acts of kindness matter. When forgotten, they can create feelings of underappreciation, making spouses feel taken for granted over time. Being intentional about these simple gestures can keep the connection alive.
Poor Communication Skills
Effective communication is the secret to a lasting relationship. Misunderstandings arise when partners fail to express their thoughts clearly and on time. Active listening is equally essential to communicating effectively. Intentionality around addressing issues as they occur prevents them from festering.
Ignoring Emotional Needs
Everyone has emotional needs that require attention. If these are ignored, feelings of neglect can arise. That is why it’s pertinent to prioritize each other’s emotional well-being and give support when needed to show genuine care. By addressing emotional needs, individuals can feel more valued, understood, and in tune.
Failing to Resolve Conflicts
Disagreements are inevitable in any marriage. However, when conflicts are allowed to linger, they can cause significant damage. Couples should establish rules to reach amicable resolutions through compromise to avoid the build-up of grudges and bitterness.
Lack of Quality Time Together
Busy schedules often make it hard to spend time together and, over time, may weaken the relationship. Regular date nights or activities that can be done together help maintain the connection as shared experiences build memories and strengthen bonds.
Neglecting Physical Affection
Physical touch is a fundamental part of a relationship. Simple gestures like hand-holding, hugging and kissing reinforce emotional bonds and convey love and appreciation. At the same time, a lack of it can create distance and encourage complacency.
Allowing Technology to Interfere
Constant use of phones and gadgets can create barriers. With the prevalence of technological devices, it’s pretty easy to fall prey to this. Hence, boundaries like no phones in bed should be set around device use to encourage more quality interaction.
Financial Dishonesty
Money is typically a dicey topic, and dishonesty about finances can erode trust. Habits like hiding expenses or debts create tension and depict deceit. Open discussions about money build trust, cooperation, and a sense of reliability.
Criticizing Instead of Constructively Critiquing
Constructive criticism helps with personal growth, but constant criticism is counterproductive. It’s essential to communicate issues without belittling each other. Focusing on solutions rather than problems promotes a positive environment for respectful feedback and a healthy relationship.
Forgetting Important Dates
It is easy to become nonchalant and unintentional after years of being with your partner. Everything from missed birthdays to anniversaries builds up and can hurt your partner’s feelings. Make it a point to acknowledge and celebrate special occasions to show you SEE your partner.
Holding Unrealistic Expectations
While it is great to expect the very best, especially when you give it, it is crucial to recognize that everyone has flaws. So, go easy with the bars and standards. Loving your significant other amidst the realities of their quirks and oddities is the foundation of lasting bonds.
Neglecting Self-Care
The reality is that partners share themselves in marriage, which makes personal well-being a collective problem rather than an individual one. A lack of self-care, such as poor work-life balance, leads to stress and unhappiness, the brunt of which you may transfer to your partner.
Comparing Your Relationship to Others
Everyone is unique, as are the realities of the union of two people. It may be frustrating to see what you want in another couple, but be wary of vocalizing this in a way that comes across as demeaning and, thereby, unrealistic. Focus on your strengths and lovingly nudge improvements over time.
Avoiding Difficult Conversations
Shying away from tough topics doesn’t make them disappear. It’s better to address issues head-on. Open dialogues around honest conversations about finances, insecurities, and health can be uncomfortable but necessary as they prevent misunderstandings and build trust.
Failing to Apologize
You are not perfect, which means that your actions and words may sometimes hurt your partner. It’s essential to validate your partner’s feelings of hurt regardless of your intentions. Always apologize for any hurt caused without making excuses for your actions.
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