Lisa O
In a healthy romantic relationship, both people should care about each other’s feelings and needs. But if you notice your partner treats their friends better than they treat you—they’re not fully committed to the relationship. Studies have found that when there’s a lack of respect, it often leads to breakups. Here are the signs your partner respects their friends more than you.
They trust friends more than you
It’s normal for people to talk about their relationships with their friends, but it can cause trouble if your partner talks about problems without talking to you first. Some experts say that some parts of a relationship should be kept private between the people in it to keep trust strong. They also say that talking openly with each other is important for fixing problems.
They compare you to friends’ partners
If your partner is always comparing you to their friends’ partners, it’s not a good sign unless they’re saying how great you are in comparison! Unfavorable comparisons can make you feel bad and unsure about yourself. They also show a lack of respect for who you are and what makes you special—suggesting that you need to be different to be good enough.
They always side with friends
In a healthy relationship, partners care about each other’s needs and feelings, even if they don’t always agree. But if your better half and their friends are always taking sides against you—it might mean your partner cares more about making them happy than listening to you and respecting your thoughts and feelings. It’s very important to notice how he or she treats you when you have company.
They let friends decide for you
A lot of experts say that it’s pretty normal for friends to give advice, but they shouldn’t make big decisions for you. If your partner lets their best friend decide things like who you date, when you move in together, or how you handle money—it might mean they don’t trust themselves and don’t respect your thoughts enough to ask you.
They prioritize friends over you
If you’re often left alone while your partner hangs out with their friends, it’s important to think about whether they really want to be with you. While it’s good for each person to have their own friends and spend time apart, if your better half is always with their mates and rarely with you, it’s a cause for concern—it might mean they don’t value spending quality time with you.
They overshare about you
According to experts, opening up to others is very important for building strong relationships, whether they’re friendships or romantic. But there are boundaries to what your partner should tell their friends, especially if it’s about you, your feelings, or intimate things. If they share too much—it can make you feel uncomfortable and show they don’t respect your privacy.
They avoid your friends/family
Imagine your partner puts a lot of energy into hanging out with their friends but seems unsure about spending time with your family and mates. This might mean they only care about their own relationships—which could show they’re not committed to you for the long haul. If they always find excuses to avoid being with your loved ones, they might not want to be a permanent part of your life.
They prioritize friends’ needs
It’s really important for your partner to be there for their friends, but if they’re always canceling plans with you to help them out—it might be a problem. Experts warn that this could be a sign of “pocketing,” where your partner keeps their friendships separate from you. This can make you feel like your needs are being ignored by them.
They cancel plans for friends
Are you often pushed aside whenever your partner’s friends want to hang out with them? While emergencies or special occasions might need attention, if your partner keeps canceling plans with you for their mates—it could mean they don’t see you as a priority. This behavior shows a lack of respect for you and doesn’t value your time.
They choose friends’ events over yours
Special events like birthdays, anniversaries, or holidays are very important in a relationship, and caring partners will think about each other when making plans. If your better half chooses to go to a friend’s weekend party instead of celebrating your birthday dinner—it might make you wonder what matters more to them. It shows that they value their friendship more than your relationship.
Their friends get involved in arguments
Are you always fighting with your partner and their friends? Constant arguing isn’t a mature way for adults to handle a relationship and indicates a serious lack of mutual respect. While getting advice is totally okay—involving their friends in arguments instead of dealing with them directly shows they don’t respect you and can’t handle conflicts on their own.
They compare you to friends
Comparing things that are very different, like burger and salad, doesn’t make sense and can be upsetting. If your partner keeps comparing your achievements to their friends and suggesting you should do better like them—it shows they don’t value your own path and goals. This kind of attitude can really affect how confident and good you feel about yourself.
You feel left out with their friends
Dating someone who has a close group of childhood friends can be pretty tough, especially if you feel left out of their inside jokes and shared memories. A caring partner will try to include you, make you feel comfortable, and welcome you into their circle. If they don’t make that effort—it could mean they don’t respect you or care about your feelings.
They gossip about you
Telling your friends all the intimate details of your sex life, past problems, family issues, or personal struggles is something only a disrespectful partner would do. Gossiping like this shows they care more about entertaining their friends and getting attention than they do about keeping your trust and respecting your privacy—which are super important in any good relationship.
They exclude you from friend gatherings
It’s okay if you’re not invited when your partner spends time with their friends for reasons like being a single-gender group or financial constraints. But if there’s no good reason to leave you out, it’s concerning. It suggests that either your partner didn’t even think about including you (which isn’t great), or they purposely didn’t want you there (which is even worse!).
They echo friends’ opinions
Failing to have an opinion of your own can be a sign of low self-confidence, but a partner who only ever voices the perspective of their friends may hold their buddies in far higher esteem than you. Here’s what you need to remember: A supportive spouse who can think for themselves will have their own opinions and only disagree with you respectfully and with validity.
They frequently ditch you
If your partner often cancels plans with you but hardly ever cancels on their friends, it’s worrying. It suggests they don’t mind letting you down, but they do care about doing the same to their friends—or it might mean they just don’t enjoy spending time with you. It’s very hard to say which is worse in this situation.