Lisa O
If you’ve been picking up on signs that your partner might be cheating, you’re definitely not alone. Unfortunately, cheating happens all too often, and it’s surprisingly easy for someone to get away with it. These days, cheaters are getting more creative when it comes to covering their tracks, but you’re sharp enough to catch on, and your gut instinct is usually right. Here are 20 signs your partner might be cheating.
They’re suddenly all about looking good.
When a couple feels comfortable with each other, there’s usually less pressure to maintain appearances. It’s perfectly normal to relax a bit when you’re in a happy, loving relationship. But if your partner suddenly starts paying a lot more attention to how they look and seems more attractive, don’t brush it off. This is one of the biggest signs they might be cheating.
The house looks clean and fresh.
Speaking of suddenly looking great, if your partner is leaving your house tidy and clean, that’s a definite red flag. Why isn’t the house messy? Why does everything look exactly the way you left it? It could be because they had someone over while you were away, and after that person left, they cleaned up to hide any signs that something was different.
They’ve started texting you more and calling a lot less.
It’s easy to send a quick text, even if they’re with someone else. So when you call, do they just text you back instead? If they’re constantly texting instead of picking up the phone, that’s not a great sign. And if you call but they don’t answer, only to text you right after, be very careful. If it’s a struggle to get them on a phone call or FaceTime, but texting seems effortless, that’s a red flag worth noticing.
They’ve become secretive about money.
If they never used to carry cash or withdraw money from ATMs, but now they suddenly do, it could be a way to pay for dates with someone else without leaving a trail on credit card statements. Any noticeable change in financial habits could be a sign that something’s going on. These days, almost everything leaves a paper trail that’s easy to track through online banking, which is why people having affairs often prefer using cash.
They’re glued to their phone but not letting you see it.
If he or she keeps their phone face down on the table, and then when it buzzes, picks it up and reads the incoming texts in a way that shows they don’t want you to see what’s on the screen, something’s definitely up. Protecting the phone is one of the biggest signs of cheating. If they try to brush it off as just a text from their “mom” but are all giddy about it… it’s probably not their mum.
Their answers are always vague.
Subtle dodging and beating around the bush is a red flag, and most of us can spot it a mile away. Maybe they think that they’re somehow avoiding a lie by not answering directly. If the cheater feels uneasy about lying, it makes sense why they’d give indirect answers when you ask where they’ve been. They might even avoid you or act busy just to sidestep your questions.
They’ve turned into a clean freak.
They’re suddenly obsessed with keeping their car spotless, suddenly changing the sheets all the time, or showering way more than usual. All of these are red flags. Why? Because it could be their way of erasing any evidence of the other person—vacuuming up stray hairs and washing off any new scents.
They’re suddenly all about you having a social life.
If your partner suddenly seems thrilled to see you out enjoying a social life or acts more annoyed when you’re just relaxing at home, that’s a red flag. It makes you wonder why they’re so eager to get you out of your shared space. Their sudden interest in your hobbies could be their way of keeping you from discovering their own new ones.
They’re on their phone all the time now.
Are they texting a lot more lately? Or suddenly following a bunch of super good-looking people on social media? Or maybe someone you’ve recently met? Could be a new coworker or even one of your friends. That could be a sign they’re checking out other options, swiping right on Tinder, and looking to cheat.
There’s been no fight between you two lately.
Has it been months since you’ve had any arguments? Sounds nice and peaceful, right? Wrong! A partner who doesn’t care anymore won’t bother with problems, big or small. Instead, they’ll check out of the relationship completely, leaving them free to build a connection with someone new. If your partner is cheating, they probably won’t feel comfortable nitpicking small issues when they’re guilty of something as big as cheating.
But when they do start a fight, it’s like they’re looking for a reason to leave.
If they suddenly seem unusually angry with you, and it feels like they’re picking fights on purpose, there might be a reason. They could be looking for an excuse to get mad, storm out, and meet up with someone else. While they claim they’re just “cooling off” from the argument, they might actually be spending time with the person they’re cheating with.
They’re suddenly insecure and seeking validation.
If your partner seems to have low self-esteem or low confidence, where do you think they’ll go for an ego boost? That’s right. They’ll often cheat to get the validation they need to feel desirable and worthy. They’ll cheat on you to get a confidence boost from someone else because they’re looking for more attention and more self-esteem boosts than you’re giving them. It’s not your fault.
They don’t want to be intimate with you.
If they’re not getting it or wanting it from you, they may be getting it from someone else. And if they’re less interested in it with you, it could be because they’ve started to care more about getting it from someone else. We’re not saying making love is everything in a relationship, but if you both were active before and now your partner isn’t interested, something’s definitely fishy.
They’re spending way more time with their single friends.
We all have those single friends who live a different lifestyle from ours. If your partner suddenly starts hanging out with their single friends a lot, it could be because they miss that single life. And if they’re missing being single, they might be thinking about cheating to get a taste of it again.
They’re always “busy,” but can’t explain what they’re up to.
Watch out for the ones who always say they’re busy but never really explain with whom, what, or why. The overly mysterious ones usually have something to hide. Maybe they’re busy with work, but why can’t your partner tell you about it? If it’s not work or family-related, then it probably means your partner’s busy with something else (or someone else, we might add).
They’re out of the house more or changing their routine.
If your partner is usually a creature of habit or a big homebody and suddenly starts changing things up, it could mean they’ve met someone who’s pushing them to get out more. All that time spent out of the house might actually be with someone else. Where’s your partner really going? Is he actually in his office? It might be time to double-check the details.
You’re never invited to their work events anymore.
Are you noticing a pattern of “work functions” with no invite? Or maybe you used to be invited to their staff parties, but not anymore? Maybe they’re into someone at work and don’t want you around messing up their flirting game. It’s time for you to play detective. Try sneaking into the same party to see what’s so confidential that even you can’t attend.
They’re getting texts from unknown or new numbers.
Do you recognize those names? There’s usually a suspicious reason behind every new “Emma,” “Casey,” or “Harper” added to their phone as a new “guy” or “girl” friend from work. Be wary of those new gender-neutral names on your partner’s phone. There’s also usually a reason someone doesn’t save a number. Just saying.
They get defensive over the simplest questions.
You: “Did you have lunch at that new place? What did you eat?” Partner: “Why are you always questioning me?!” Responses like that are classic signs of cheating. If your partner can’t answer a simple question normally or gets way too defensive, it’s probably because they’re hiding something. By reacting like that, they’re making sure you don’t ask them anything else.
They’re constantly clearing their online history.
Keeping a low profile online is a smart move for cybersecurity, making it harder for hackers to get your personal info. But if your partner suddenly starts obsessively clearing their electronics history and browser history, signing out of all accounts, and emptying the trash bin on their computer, it could be a sign that something’s off.