15 Signs Your Friend Is a Narcissist

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Discovering narcissistic traits in a friend might not happen right away. At first, they might seem caring and uplifting. But as time passes, these friendships can become one-sided, filled with conflict, and even aggressive. If you’re pals with a narcissist, you might notice changes. They could become self-centered, not supportive, territorial, and demanding. Here are the signs your friend is a narcissist.

They Crave Attention and Praise

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Narcissistic friends often struggle to validate themselves or find inner worth, so they rely heavily on external validation. They constantly seek, expect, and sometimes even demand praise and admiration to boost their self-esteem. You might notice them asking you to like their social media posts, fishing for compliments, or subtly expressing insecurity, hoping for reassurance (e.g., “I hope my hair doesn’t look terrible today – you think I still look great, right?”).

They’re Selfish with Your Time

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Since narcissists often see themselves as superior to others, they’re mostly focused on their own happiness and may overlook their friends’ feelings. For instance – if you arrange to have lunch with a narcissistic friend, they might show up late without an apology and act surprised if you’re upset. Even if you share your needs or preferences, they might ignore or accuse you of being bossy or selfish.

They Set Unrealistic Demands

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A narcissistic friend expects you to always cater to their wants without thinking about how it affects you. They want you to give them sympathy and praise whenever they ask for it. For instance, they might call you late at night and want you to listen to all their problems. They think they deserve your time and might get mad if you cancel plans or hang out with others.

They Get Aggressive

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Ever felt like you’re constantly on stage, performing for a friend who always craves the spotlight? That’s what it’s like with narcissistic friends. They hunger for admiration and sympathy like it’s their lifeline. If you don’t feed into their ego enough, they might get mean or angry. They could insult you in front of others, spread mean rumors about you, or even hurt you physically.

They Keep Conversations Shallow

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You may have noticed some friends who seem reserved or secretive at first. Well, they could be narcissists. Instead of getting into deep conversations, they prefer to keep things light to avoid getting too close. These friends only talk about themselves when it makes them look good or benefits them. They also hardly ever ask about you or share anything personal because the world revolves around them.

They Knock You Down

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Imagine you’re excited to share your big news with a friend—maybe you landed a fantastic job offer. But instead of celebrating with you, they quickly change the subject or start talking about themselves. Sound familiar? That’s what it’s like with narcissistic friends. They always crave attention and love to steal the spotlight, even when it’s your moment to shine. Don’t take it personally – it’s just their way of coping with their own insecurities.

They Rarely Apologize

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When you tell a narcissistic friend that something they said hurt your feelings, like commenting on your height, they usually don’t take it well. Instead of saying sorry, they get all defensive and tell you that you’re just too sensitive. To them, admitting they’re wrong feels like a major blow to their ego. But here’s the twist: if saying sorry gets them what they want, suddenly they’re all about apologies.

They’re Green with Envy

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Have you ever had a friend who thinks the world revolves around them? That’s what it’s like with narcissists. They expect you to put them above everyone else—even your family, friends, or pets. If you dare to prioritize anyone or anything over them, watch out! They might get super jealous and explode in anger. And get this: they’ll try to make you think it’s all your fault.

They Hold Grudges

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Narcissists find it challenging not just to say sorry but also to forgive their friends. They think they deserve special treatment all the time. If you slip up, like forgetting to return a call, other friends might forgive you right away. But with narcissistic friends, it’s a whole different story. They might hold onto grudges and even act like you owe them something later on.

They’re Takers, Not Givers

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Narcissists see the people around them as tools to get what they want. This could mean using your stuff, connections, or even past mistakes to manipulate you into doing things for them. Some narcissistic friends might even gather dirt on you to use as leverage. They might threaten to expose embarrassing photos, or they could guilt-trip you into giving them what they desire.

They Bail When They Don’t Benefit

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Narcissists eventually decide if a friendship still benefits them. They might feel you need to praise them more, notice you’re not as attentive as before, or think they’d get better attention elsewhere. So even though they crave validation, it doesn’t last long when they get it from you. It’s like they’re always chasing after something new and better!

They Can’t Handle Criticism

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When you try to give a narcissist some advice, they often get mad and might even accuse you of insulting them. For example, if you say you don’t like their makeup, they’ll brush you off by saying you don’t know anything about it or that you’re just jealous. They think they’re always right, so they don’t care about your suggestions. Their love for themselves makes it super hard for them to take criticism.

They’re Missing in Action During Hard Times

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When you’re going through a tough time, don’t expect your narcissist friend to be there for you. It’s not that they don’t care – they have difficulty understanding what you need or how you feel unless it benefits them somehow. So, instead of lending a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on, they might dodge emotional talks, bail on you when you’re struggling, or even talk behind your back.

They Drain Your Energy

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Remember when hanging out with your narcissistic friend used to be fun? They were all smiles and charm back then. But now? It’s like being with them sucks the energy right out of you. They’re always talking about themselves, hardly giving you a chance to get a word in. And their endless complaints, big-headed attitude, and lack of interest in your life make conversations exhausting.

They Stir Up Trouble

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Narcissists might not come out and say they’re super jealous of your other relationships, but their actions can surely give it away. See, they need your attention all the time to feel good about themselves. So when you give it to someone else, they freak out. They might start demanding you hang out with them more, ask you to ditch your other friends, or even try to stir up drama between you and them.