Lisa O
Ending a friendship can be tough and awkward. Even when they’re no longer working, friendships often stick around because of habit, shared memories, or just being in the same circle. But, like romantic relationships, friendships can become toxic, damaging, or just plain frustrating. And sometimes, the hardest but best choice is to walk away. Here are ten signs someone is a ‘Frenemy’ in disguise.
They always make their problems your priority.
Friendship is about having each other’s backs, but things get tricky when someone’s emotional needs—which make you put them before your own relationships and needs—always seem to take priority. A bad friend will make you feel like when you have your own needs, you’re not just being selfish and careless, but you’re being straight-up mean and inconsiderate of their way more important problems.
They’re constantly asking you for favors.
Offering support is a key part of a healthy friendship, but when the support is always one-sided and non-stop (Can you pay for lunch? Can you walk their dog? Can you put in a good word? Can you help build some furniture?), that’s a problem. Stop being the only one putting in the effort. Just show up, and make sure others show up for you, too.
They talk about you behind your back.
Most of us aren’t perfect when it comes to gossiping, but there’s a certain level of trust that needs to be in any relationship to keep it intact. If your friend is spreading rumors about personal matters—or, even worse, making up things that aren’t true—it’s one clear sign they don’t truly care about you or your friendship.
They can’t seem to be happy for your wins.
Friendship has a bigger impact on our mental well-being than family relationships. A friend should be someone who’s genuinely happy for you when things are going great. If you’re starting to avoid talking to them about the good stuff happening in your life because they’re always putting you down (your achievement’s no big deal; your new job isn’t all that great; oh, they hit that relationship milestone months ago), that’s a red flag.
They’re always throwing passive-aggressive jabs.
“They’re so cute that you brought deviled eggs to the party,” they might say in front of everyone. “They smell awful, and honestly, they’re one of the cheapest, laziest things you could’ve made.” Ugh. This kind of stuff can be super hurtful and awkward, but try to remember, it’s not about you. Every time someone throws passive-aggressive jabs at you, remind yourself that under all that anger is just a lot of unhappiness.
It’s all about them, never about you.
It’s not a good sign if you’re waiting for your friend to take a break from talking about their marathon training and finally ask, “So, what’s up with you?” This is the thing with most fake friends. They want you around so they can unload their problems and take out all their frustration on you.
Their “jokes” just feel mean.
Your friends can’t believe you were offended when they said your outfit looked like it came from a discount bin. They were just joking, of course! Teasing can be fun and healthy, but when it’s pushed too far, “just kidding” hides a messed-up logic: If I didn’t mean it, it doesn’t count. And that logic means your “friend” not only doesn’t respect your feelings but refuses to own up when they’ve hurt them.
You always feel drained after hanging out.
Trust your gut. Always. If your friend constantly leaves you feeling drained or something feels off, it might be time to let go. You’ll probably go through some grieving, and that’s totally normal. If you can’t fix the toxic friendship, it’s fine to mourn it, move on, and find relationships that actually bring you peace and happiness.
They’re good at lying.
Sometimes, people do amazing things you wouldn’t expect or have had some crazy experience. But if you know someone who always has a wild new story every time you talk to them, and it’s totally not what you’ve seen from them, you’re probably dealing with a Lying Logan. They might feel like their real life isn’t enough, so they have to exaggerate at best or flat-out lie at worst to make themselves seem more important.
They disguise rude comments as “honest advice.”
There’s a big difference between telling someone a tough truth because you care and criticizing them “honestly” to cause hurt. It’s not about being real—it’s about being hurtful. It’s that kind of cold, careless honesty where the goal isn’t to help but to tear someone down while pretending it’s for their own good.