Lisa O
Baby Boomers are getting divorced more than any other generation before and after them. The gray divorce rate almost doubled between 1990 and 2010. From changing expectations to longer lifespans, several factors contribute to making Boomers the most divorced generation. So, let’s explore 15 reasons why more Boomers are divorcing later in life.
Lack of financial constraints
Many women in the Baby Boomer generation went to great lengths to succeed in their careers. This helped them attain financial independence. Financial dependence on the spouse is a factor that makes many women continue in marriages they would have left otherwise. Not being dependent on their husbands makes the idea of divorce less financially daunting. With a separate income source, Boomer wives can support themselves post-divorce in a way women from previous generations could not.
Longer lifespan
Life expectancy has drastically improved in the past few decades. Knowing they have many more years to pursue what they love and seek personal fulfillment, Boomers no longer want to continue in a dead marriage. This makes the idea of seeking a better life more appealing to Boomers than to previous generations. The ideas of self-love and better mental well-being also fuel the desire to live a better life and to stop enduring a gridlocked marriage.
Empty nest
Raising children together is a big reason many couples choose to stay together even when they can’t bear the sight of each other. As children grow up and leave, one big reason for continuing in marriage is removed from the equation. Boomer children have flown the nest. Many Boomer couples realize they’ve lost their main purpose for staying together.
Midlife crisis
Many Boomers fall prey to a ‘midlife crisis.’ It is typically a time of self-doubt that turns into a desire for drastic changes. It is a short-lived phase, but it may urge some Boomers to end their marriages and restart their life journey on a new course. They can now redesign their lives to be more aligned with their newfound identity and vision.
Separate visions
Both husband and wife may have different ideas of how they want to live their golden years—one may want to embark on outdoor adventures and travel the world, while the other may be looking forward to a quiet life at home. A lack of agreement in this area is a common cause of irreconcilable differences, leading to Boomer’s divorce.
Spouse health issues
Chronic illnesses or disabilities mean more caretaking responsibilities for one partner. It takes a great toll on the other partner, who may have a different idea of how they want to spend time in their later years. Many Boomers are not ready for complex caregiving responsibilities. As these responsibilities increase, the unfulfilled need for self-care, drastic lifestyle changes, and emotional issues push some Boomer couples to divorce.
More opportunities
With longer lifespans, some boomers feel they settled too young. They may want to explore other goals, relationships, or self-discovery while they can. The cost of staying in an unfulfilling, unloving marriage may seem higher than restarting life with another person. If their marriage has hit a dead-end, this idea may seem even more compelling, fueling the urge to leave.
Delayed marriages
Boomers often delayed marriage to pursue their career goals. They enjoyed extended periods of being single longer than any previous generation, which gave them more time for self-discovery before they married. However, this also meant they spent less time with each other and less time resolving differences and conflicts. Over the years, this compounded until they reached the point where divorce became a possibility.
No stigma for children
In the past, many couples tried to stay together for the sake of their children, even if they were unhappy. It was partly due to the stigma attached to divorce and broken families. Today, with changing social norms, some couples might stay together for their children’s sake, but this approach might not always be in the best interests of either the parents or the children.
Emotional baggage
While delayed marriages may mean less time spent together, longer marriages may carry more emotional baggage. From long-standing resentments to poor communication, the weight of marital issues may become too heavy to bear as Boomers enter their later years. They may be left with divorce as the only option to find potential happiness. The emotional baggage and better health and longevity can motivate Boomers to get divorced.
Higher acceptance
Prevailing high divorce rates all around reinforce the idea that marriages are not permanent. Boomers have slowly recognized that marriages are disposable, an idea prior generations were not familiar with. For them, marriage was sacrosanct. Modern society accepts divorce as a common phenomenon. The presence of an increasingly accepted exit path may make Boomers in loveless marriages embrace it, taking away any motivation to continue in an unfulfilling marriage.
Unfulfilled expectations
Many couples discover late in life that marriage is not all they made it to be. They may have tried to reconcile differences, find happiness, and make it work, but not all unions are meant to be. Expectations may change with growing age. As they enter their golden years and do the math, they become even more acutely aware of the fact. Unfulfilled expectations can erode their motivation to honor vows that are unlikely to be fulfilled.
Social networks
We live in a digital age where it’s easier for Boomers to find new people and start dating again. Many dating networks now help Boomers exit unfulfilling marriages and re-enter the modern dating world. This is reassuring to Boomers because it means they don’t have to be alone forever. It also tells them that many people their age are experiencing the same challenge. There’s hope that they can find not one, but more relationship prospects.
No more sunk cost mentality
After investing several decades in a marriage, the ‘sunk cost’ mindset compelled previous generations to remain trapped in dead marriages. However, Boomers have realized that this is a fallacy. They recognize that they are entitled to love and happier relationships, regardless of age, and they are not afraid to start their search all over again. They are ready to take any second chances available, even if it is in their golden years.