Lisa O
From movies to fairy tales, we’ve been conditioned to believe that there’s a single, perfect person out there meant just for us—our soulmate, our other half, “The One.” But real life isn’t a romantic comedy, and the idea of one perfect partner is more fantasy than fact. Here’s why.
There Are Billions of People in the World
The idea that only one person out of billions is truly meant for you is mathematically absurd. If “The One” existed, what are the chances you’d even meet them? People fall in love, build relationships, and find happiness in different ways—it’s not about fate but about effort and compatibility.
Relationships Take Work, Not Destiny
The biggest flaw in the idea of “The One” is that it assumes love should be effortless. In reality, even the best relationships require communication, compromise, and growth. Waiting for someone who magically fits into your life without any challenges ignores the reality of what makes love last.
People Change Over Time
You aren’t the same person you were five years ago, and neither is your partner. Believing in “The One” implies that one person will always be perfectly suited for you, no matter how life changes. In reality, successful relationships are about growing together, not finding someone who never needs to adapt.
Multiple People Can Be a Great Match
If “The One” existed, how do people fall deeply in love more than once? The truth is, there isn’t just one perfect match—there are multiple people who could be great partners depending on timing, effort, and shared values. Love isn’t about waiting for destiny but about making choices.
The Idea Creates Unrealistic Expectations
When people believe in “The One,” they expect a relationship to feel magical and effortless all the time. The moment they face conflict or challenges, they start wondering, Maybe this isn’t The One? Instead of working through problems, they chase an unrealistic fantasy that no real person can live up to.
It Keeps People Stuck in Bad Relationships
Some people stay in toxic or unfulfilling relationships because they convince themselves they’ve found “The One” and don’t want to let them go. The truth is, no single person is your only shot at happiness. If a relationship is unhealthy, leaving doesn’t mean you’ve lost your soulmate—it means you’re making room for better.
Love Isn’t About Fate, It’s About Choice
Strong, lasting relationships aren’t the result of divine intervention—they’re built through intentional effort. The happiest couples didn’t stumble upon their perfect match; they chose each other, worked through challenges, and nurtured their connection. Love isn’t about “finding” the right person but about creating the right relationship.
Timing and Circumstances Matter More Than Fate
Many relationships succeed or fail based on timing. Someone might be a perfect match for you, but if you meet at the wrong stage of life—when one of you is emotionally unavailable, dealing with personal struggles, or in a different life phase—it won’t work. Love isn’t just about the person but about the circumstances, too.
It Ignores the Reality of Breakups and Moving On
People who once believed they had found “The One” often find love again after heartbreak. If there was truly only one person for each of us, what would happen when someone’s partner passed away or moved on? The fact that people fall in love multiple times proves that love isn’t about destiny—it’s about connection and effort.
Believing in ‘The One’ Can Lead to Endless Searching
People who buy into this myth often spend years looking for perfection, rejecting good potential partners because they don’t match an impossible standard. In reality, love isn’t about waiting for a flawless soulmate—it’s about finding someone with whom you can build a meaningful, lasting relationship, imperfections and all.