Lisa O
Have you ever heard someone say, “Maybe a baby will bring us closer?” It sounds hopeful, but in reality, having a child often puts a magnifying glass on relationship issues rather than healing them. While kids bring immense joy, they can’t fix what’s fundamentally broken between two people. Here are 10 reasons why having kids won’t fix a broken relationship.
A baby adds stress, not peace.
Newborns come with sleepless nights, endless crying, and they need constant care. Even the strongest couples feel the strain. Now, imagine adding that to a relationship already falling apart. Instead of going out on romantic date nights, you’re arguing over who changes the next diaper at 3 AM (yes, you read that right). That stress doesn’t glue people together—it pulls them further apart.
Kids can’t fix communication gaps.
If you and your better half struggle to talk openly now, adding a child won’t magically improve that. Picture this: You’re both exhausted, and the baby won’t stop crying. One of you wants to let the baby “cry it out,” while the other insists on immediate comfort. Without solid communication, even small parenting decisions become battlegrounds.
Emotional needs still remain unmet.
It’s easy to think that the love you’ll feel for your child will somehow fill the emotional gaps in your relationship. But emotional needs don’t vanish—they just get buried. If one partner already feels unappreciated or unloved, those feelings can intensify when the focus shifts entirely to the baby. Soon, you’re living parallel lives—connected by the child but emotionally distant from each other.
Resentment can quietly grow.
Here’s a scenario: One partner works long hours while the other becomes the primary caregiver. Over time, the stay-at-home parent might feel stuck and unsupported, while the working partner feels unappreciated for providing financially. Neither says anything, but resentment builds silently, like steam in a pressure cooker. Eventually, it explodes—not because of the baby, but because of the unspoken frustrations.
Children sense the tension.
Kids are total emotional sponges. Even toddlers can pick up on the vibes around them. Picture a kid growing up in a house where arguments are always bubbling under the surface or where parents barely say a word to each other. They’ll feel that tension, even if no one’s yelling. Experts say kids raised in high-conflict homes often end up battling anxiety and self-esteem issues down the line.
It’s unfair to the child.
Using a kid as a quick fix for a rocky relationship puts a heavy (and unfair) weight on their little shoulders. It’s like handing them a job they never signed up for—“Hey, can you fix Mom and Dad’s problems?” No child should feel like they’re responsible for their parents’ happiness. That kind of pressure can mess with their head, making them think that if things fall apart, it’s somehow their fault. And that’s a burden no kid should ever carry.
Financial stress multiplies.
Babies are adorable—but they’re also money magnets (sorry, but it’s true). Diapers, formula, doctor visits, daycare—it all adds up. If money was already a source of tension, expect it to double. Picture arguments over unexpected expenses, like a surprise medical bill or costly daycare fees. The financial strain doesn’t just hurt your wallet—it seeps into the emotional fabric of a relationship.
Personal issues don’t disappear.
Got trust issues? Past traumas? Poor conflict resolution skills? Having a child doesn’t erase them—it pushes them into the background until they resurface at the worst times. Maybe unresolved anger turns into snapping at each other during a late-night feeding. Deep-seated insecurities also play out when deciding on parenting styles.
The focus shifts away from the relationship.
In the whirlwind of feeding schedules, diaper changes, and doctor visits, it’s easy to forget about each other. Romantic gestures? Date nights? They fall to the bottom of the priority list. Over time, the relationship becomes more about co-parenting than partnership. Without conscious effort, couples drift apart—not out of malice but sheer exhaustion and lack of connection.
Healthy relationships make better parents.
Here’s the silver lining: strong, connected couples tend to be better co-parents. When partners feel loved and supported, they model healthy relationships for their children. Instead of focusing on having a child to “fix” things, investing in the relationship first creates a stable, loving foundation. And that’s the kind of home every child deserves.