Lisa O
What do we all really want? What’s that special thing that helps us feel good about ourselves? It’s our connection with our family. A strong bond with our parents teaches us how to build and keep healthy relationships throughout our lives. That’s why it’s super important to avoid touching on sensitive topics that could hurt your loved ones. Here are 12 questions you should never ask at a family gathering.
“When Are You Having Kids?”
This question can really put someone in an awkward position—especially if they’re dealing with infertility issues or have just decided not to have kids. The American Psychological Association points out that questions like this can cause a lot of pressure and discomfort because they dig into deeply personal and potentially painful topics. It’s crucial to respect people’s privacy when it comes to their family planning choices.
“How Much Do You Make?”
Money is a personal topic, and talking about it can make people feel uncomfortable. Asking about someone’s salary might come off as nosy or judgmental. Forbes says that money talk can lead to awkwardness and conflict because people usually keep their finances private. It’s best to respect personal boundaries around money to avoid unnecessary tension.
“Why Are You Still Single?”
This question can be hurtful and intrusive—especially if someone is dealing with relationship issues or has decided to stay single. The National Center for Family & Marriage Research says that digging into someone’s relationship status can hurt their self-esteem and make them uncomfortable. So it’s way better to let people talk about their relationship status if and when they feel like it.
“Have You Gained Weight?”
Commenting on someone’s weight or appearance can be upsetting and uncomfortable. The American Psychological Association warns that these kinds of questions or remarks can lead to body image issues and negatively impact self-esteem. Everyone deals with their own body image challenges, and personal comments about how someone looks can make them feel self-conscious or hurt.
“Why Don’t You Have a Better Job?”
Career and job status are touchy subjects. Asking someone about their job performance or career progress might make them feel judged. A CareerBuilder survey shows that these kinds of conversations can be very stressful because they might make people feel like they’re being judged for their career choices or financial situation. Instead of grilling them about their job, it’s way better to celebrate their successes and offer some encouragement.
“Why Are You Still Living at Home?”
Living with parents can happen for all sorts of reasons—like financial challenges or personal choice. The Pew Research Center points out that asking about someone’s living situation can come off as judgmental and dismissive. It’s key to understand that everyone’s circumstances are unique and to avoid making assumptions about why someone still lives with their parents.
“When Are You Getting Married?”
Just like with questions about having kids, asking about marriage can put a lot of pressure on someone. The American Psychological Association says this can be super stressful for those who might not be into marriage or are dealing with relationship issues. It’s best to respect people’s choices about marriage and let them share their plans when they’re ready rather than pushing them for answers.
“Do You Still Have That Problem?”
Bringing up someone’s past issues, whether they’re health-related or personal, can be uncomfortable and invasive. Research from the Journal of Clinical Psychology reveals that discussing past problems can stir up negative emotions and make people feel vulnerable. It’s much better to focus on the positive things happening in someone’s life right now rather than digging into old challenges.
“Why Did You Break Up?”
Asking about the details of a breakup can be painful for someone. The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships points out that talking about past relationship issues can cause distress and discomfort, as it might make someone relive a tough experience. It’s much more thoughtful to avoid prying into the reasons behind relationship changes and let people share what they want when they’re ready.
“How Did You Get That Scar/Tattoo?”
Questions about personal body mods—like scars or tattoos—can come off as intrusive or even judgmental. The Journal of Health Psychology points out that these are personal choices, and asking about them can make someone feel awkward or self-conscious. It’s super important to respect people’s privacy about their physical appearance so they don’t feel like they’re being judged or put on the spot.
“What’s Your Political Opinion?”
Politics can be a super divisive topic and can quickly turn into a heated argument. Pew Research Center notes that discussing political views at family gatherings can create tension and disagreements—which can ruin the mood. So, it’s usually best to avoid potentially contentious topics and keep the conversations light and fun.
“Are You Still on That Diet?”
Dietary habits can be a touchy subject, and asking about someone’s diet can feel pretty intrusive. Research indicates that diet questions can make people self-conscious—especially if they’re working on their weight. So it’s best to respect people’s choices about their eating habits without calling attention to them, which helps keep things positive and laid-back.