Bruno Pugh
Did you ever wonder why you can’t keep an ice cream cone in your rear pocket in Alabama? Or why it’s forbidden to whistle underwater in Vermont? Some laws defy logic, confound common sense, and induce more laughter than enforcement in America’s legal landscape. Let’s discuss 15 of the most perplexing laws still on the books, where legal absurdity meets the everyday realities of life in the land of the free.
It is Illegal to Impersonate Clergy (Alabama)
Alabama has a curious legal provision prohibiting individuals from impersonating clergy members such as ministers, nuns, priests, or rabbis. According to Alabama’s criminal code, this offense constitutes a misdemeanor. Those found guilty under Title 13A of the Alabama code could face penalties or confinement in the county jail for a maximum of one year or both.
No Horns at Sandwich Shops After 9 p.m. (Arkansas)
Arkansas enforces a city ordinance prohibiting using vehicle horns after 9 p.m. at establishments serving cold drinks or sandwiches. This regulation, outlined in Code 1961, § 25-74 of the Little Rock Code of Ordinances, aims to maintain a peaceful dining environment during late hours. Violating this ordinance may lead to fines.
Upholstered Furniture Restrictions (Colorado)
Under Boulder’s municipal code Section 5-4-16, it’s not allowed to leave upholstered furniture (reclining chairs, couches, or mattresses) outside unless specifically designed for outdoor use. This regulation aims to prevent damage to upholstered items that aren’t built to withstand outdoor conditions, like moisture and sun exposure.
Prohibitions on Feeding Alligators (Florida)
Under Florida’s Title XXVIII Chapter 372, which covers wildlife, there’s a strict rule: you can’t play chef for wild American alligators. That means no intentional feeding or luring them with food, even if they’re your friendly neighborhood crocs. Keep those snacks to yourself unless you’re licensed, and it’s for legitimate reasons like education, science, or running a Gator-approved business.
Restrictions on Carrying Red or White Canes (Idaho)
Under Idaho’s Title 18, Chapter 58, there’s a unique rule about cane colors. Only those who are fully or partially blind are permitted to carry red or white canes. This regulation guarantees that these distinctive canes are used exclusively by individuals who rely on them for navigation and safety.
Not Allowed to Color Baby Chicks (Illinois)
In Illinois, the law takes a stand against dyeing baby chicks and other animals for sale or display. According to Chapters 7-12 of the Animal Care and Control statute, it’s illegal to sell, offer to sell, trade, or showcase living baby chicks, ducklings, goslings, rabbits, or other fowl that have been dyed, colored, or treated to give them an artificial appearance.
Age Limitations for Playground Use (Kansas)
Kansas enforces a rule stating that individuals over 14 are generally barred from using playground equipment designed for children unless accompanying a child. This policy, detailed in Section 9.03.430, aims to prioritize playground access for its intended users—children—while exempting parents and guardians from supervising their children.
No Reptiles Near Mardi Gras (Louisiana)
Section 34-21 of the New Orleans Code of Ordinances states that no reptiles are allowed within 200 yards of a Mardi Gras parade starting at least two hours before its commencement. Additionally, these animals must stay at least 200 yards away from the parade’s endpoint for a minimum of one hour after it concludes.
Do Not Gamble at the Airport (Maine)
In accordance with Section 14-2 of Biddeford’s regulations, there are strict guidelines regarding behavior at the airport. Gambling is expressly forbidden, as is being intoxicated or engaging in any activity that disrupts the peace or causes a nuisance on airport premises.
No Intoxication Allowed on Trains (Michigan)
Act 68 of 1913 (436.201, Section 1) makes it illegal for any person to board or ride a railway train while intoxicated. This regulation underscores the importance of maintaining public safety and decorum within the railway system by confirming passengers travel responsibly and without disrupting fellow travelers or railway staff.
Sunday Car Sales Restriction (Missouri)
Similar to New Jersey and other U.S. states, Missouri’s law (Code 578.120) prohibits the sale of vehicles on Sundays. Under this statute, individuals or entities not licensed as dealers, distributors, or manufacturers are not allowed to operate any business establishment for the buying, selling, or exchanging of motor vehicles on Sundays.
Keep Animals Away From Railroad Tracks (Montana)
Montana’s livestock law states that it is illegal to drive or transport livestock on railroad tracks with the intention of causing harm to the railroad company, its personnel, or the animal. Breaking this law can lead to fines of up to $50,000, imprisonment for up to five years, or both.
No Marrying if You Suffer From STD (Nebraska)
Nebraska’s marriage law bars individuals with venereal diseases from getting married in the state. Legislative efforts through Bill 882 (LB745) aimed to revise this law, proposing that undisclosed STDs at the time of marriage could lead to annulment. However, this proposed amendment has not been enacted, leaving the original restriction intact.
No Arresting on Sunday or July 4 (Ohio)
The Ohio Revised Code specifies days when arrests are not permitted. This includes during Senate or House of Representatives sessions, within courtrooms during proceedings, on Sundays, and on the Fourth of July. These exemptions make sure that legal proceedings and national holidays are respected without interruptions from arrests.
Car Doors Must Stay Closed (Oregon)
Under Chapter 811 of Oregon’s Rules of the Road for Drivers (Section 811.490), improperly opening or leaving vehicle doors can result in penalties. This includes unsafe door openings that obstruct traffic, pedestrian crossings, or bicyclists, resulting in a Class D traffic violation.
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