Johann Hunt
Elements of grammar such as punctuation and modifiers are a key part of communication that helps us understand each other better. However, when we misuse them, we can end up with funny sentences that add a touch of humor to our language. Here are 15 grammatical faux pas that will always make you laugh, smile, or giggle.
Missing Commas
“My interests include cooking dogs and my family.”
This sentence sounds like someone taking their culinary skills to a whole new level. You can imagine the confusion and shock on people’s faces when they read that sentence. What a recipe for disaster! Here’s the corrected version without the comma mistake: “My interests include cooking, dogs, and my family.” With the correction, it’s clear that the person enjoys cooking, taking care of dogs, and spending time with their family, which is a much more appropriate and less troubling statement.
Ambiguous Adjective Use
“This door is alarmed.”
At first glance, it may sound like the door itself is alarmed or feeling anxious. You can almost picture a startled door, wide-eyed and ready to jump at any moment. Let’s clear up the confusion here. The correction to remove the ambiguity would be: “This door is alarmed,” indicating that the door has an alarm system that will ring if you try to sneak past it.
Error in Possessive Form
“Lady’s night.”
The singular noun mistake is as funny as it’s confusing because it gives the impression that the night belongs to a single lady. It must be quite a party for her. Maybe she’s hosting the entire evening, or she’s the guest of honor. But of course, we all know it’s supposed to be “Ladies’ Night.” That’s when a group of ladies get together for a fun night out and a great time with friends.
Issues with Modifiers
“No loitering. Tables are for eating customers only.”
The sentence makes us think something sinister is happening at this restaurant! Let’s apply the correct correction now: “No loitering. Tables are only for customers who are eating.” Phew, crisis averted! Now, the tables can go back to their regular job of holding food so customers can enjoy their meals without the fear of becoming the meal themselves. “Only” functions as an adverb, modifying the prepositional phrase for customers who are eating, and “who” is a relative pronoun modifying the noun “customers,” specifying which customers the tables are reserved for.
Homophone Mix-Up
“Bare with me.”
This mistake is quite amusing because it sounds like a request for someone to get naked with you instead of asking for their patience or understanding. While bonding experiences are fun, this might be taking it a bit too far! It’s the kind of mistake that could leave everyone feeling a little too exposed. Now, the correct phrase is “Bear with me,” which is a common idiom meaning “be patient with me.”
Need Some Space
“Live everyday to the fullest.”
A small space between “every” and “day” can make all the difference between a confusing sentence and wise advice. This correct version conveys the idea of living each day to its maximum potential, full of excitement, joy, and purpose. In contrast, “everyday” means “commonplace,” “usual,” or “ordinary.”
Missing Comma, Again
“Let’s eat Grandma.”
This mistake turns a harmless family meal into a hilarious situation! It’s as if you’re inviting Grandma to be the main dish rather than kindly suggesting you all have a meal together. Now, let’s fix this up before things get too out of hand: “Let’s eat, Grandma” is much safer and a lot more heartwarming, ensuring Grandma remains well and truly safe from any unexpected dinner plans involving her. Remember, folks, commas saves lives!
Misspelling
“I think your beautiful.”
The mistake in the sentence changes the meaning slightly, shifting the intended message from commenting on someone’s beauty to implying that the person being spoken to owns beauty. Adding an apostrophe to give “you’re” ensures accurate usage of the contraction for “you are.”
Incorrect Apostrophe Use
“Best steak’s in town.”
While the immediate past mistake we talked about was about adding an apostrophe, this one grammar error is about removing the punctuation. It sounds like a hilarious proclamation by the King of all steaks, claiming that the best is in town. If we want to ‘write’ the wrong, the correct version would be: “Best steaks in town.” A small tweak makes a big difference. This correction removes the apostrophe, making it a plural form, indicating that the town serves the best steaks.
Misplaced Modifier
“We were reunited after 10 years at the streetcar station.”
To be fair, a decade is an awfully long time to wait around a streetcar station. The corrected version of this mix-up should be: “After 10 years, we were reunited at the streetcar station.” Ah, much better! We simply needed to move the misplaced modifier to provide clarity.
Missing Punctuation
“Hunters, please use caution when hunting pedestrians using walking trails.”
I mean, the mental image of hunters tracking down innocent people who are just trying to enjoy a stroll in the woods is alarming and silly at the same time. Any pedestrian in their right mind would run from these trails! Now, for the correct version: “Hunters, please use caution when hunting. Pedestrians using walking trails.” Now, people can safely continue their walks without fear of ending up as a game in a hunting expedition. After all, we want everyone to enjoy the great outdoors without any absurd mix-ups!
Misused Quotation Marks
“Bike rentals $5. Helmets available for “safety”.”
Quotation marks are used to change the meaning of a sentence completely, but whoever wrote this needs to take more English lessons. In this case, you’d think the helmets aren’t really for safety at all, like they’re there for show and not to protect your head. We’ll save the day again with the proper correction: “Bike rentals $5. Helmets available for safety.” Next time you’re cruising on two wheels, remember to keep your helmet on straight and your quotation marks in check!
Another Comma Error
“It’s raining, cats and dogs!”
The unintended pause created by the comma makes this popular idiom sound like you’re announcing the weather to your pets, which isn’t the intended meaning. The proper correction for the sentence would be: “It’s raining cats and dogs!” This phrase means it is raining heavily. No airborne pets involved, just rain, rain, go away—come again another day!
Noun-Quantity Agreement Error
“Give me 10 items or less.”
This phrase is a hot debate and an error that often gets a chuckle out of grammar enthusiasts. For clarity, while “less” is typically used for uncountable or mass nouns, “fewer” should be used for countable nouns. In this case, “10 items or less” is like saying 10 items or a smaller amount, which doesn’t quite match the intended meaning. The correct version should be “10 items or fewer,” indicating a smaller number of countable items.
Malapropism
“That explanation doesn’t jive with the facts.”
Can you imagine the facts on the dance floor busting out their best moves? We bet you can’t because this sentence is wrong. Malapropism is using an inappropriate word or expression instead of a similar-sounding one. Before the dance-off gets out of hand, the correct version should be: “That explanation doesn’t jibe with the facts.” “Jive” typically means to dance or to deceive, whereas “jibe” means to agree or correspond, aligning perfectly with what we are trying to say.
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