Johann Hunt
What you say—and how you say it—leaves a lasting imprint on your child’s sense of self-worth. The words you choose can build them up or tear them down, even without meaning to. Here are 15 phrases that go beyond surface-level encouragement to truly nurture confidence and resilience.
I’m Proud Of You
Acknowledging your child’s efforts with pride teaches them that progress matters more than perfection. When they try learning to ride a bike and fall, showing pride in their courage and effort, not just success, reinforces the value of trying their best and builds their confidence to keep going.
Mistakes Are Part Of Learning
Reassuring your child that mistakes are part of growth encourages resilience. If they spill juice while pouring, calmly saying, “Mistakes help us learn,” teaches them to see errors as normal rather than shameful. This approach fosters a mindset where they feel safe trying new things without fear.
Thanks For Helping
Expressing gratitude, even for small contributions, makes kids feel valued. Whether they carry a grocery bag or set the table, a heartfelt “thank you” reinforces their importance. Feeling appreciated encourages them to help more, knowing their efforts matter, and strengthening their self-esteem and sense of belonging.
I Love You
Saying “I love you” reinforces emotional security. On tough days—after a tantrum or poor test result—reminding them that your love is constant, not tied to performance, is crucial. This reassures them that their worth doesn’t hinge on achievements or behavior, grounding their confidence in unconditional love.
I Believe in You
When your child faces a challenge, like performing in a school play, saying, “I believe in you,” can be transformative. Your confidence in their abilities becomes their own. This phrase empowers them to tackle fears head-on, knowing they have your trust, even if the outcome isn’t perfect.
I’m Listening
Giving your full attention when your child speaks tells them their feelings matter. If they’re upset about a playground fight, saying, “I’m listening,” while putting down your phone shows you value their words. This strengthens trust, validates their emotions, and teaches them their voice is important.
How’d You Figure That Out?
Asking, “How did you do that?” shows genuine interest in your child’s process. If they solve a tricky puzzle, this question highlights their effort and thinking skills rather than just praising the result. It encourages pride in their abilities and helps them reflect on their accomplishments.
What’s Your Take?
Inviting your child’s opinion teaches them their ideas matter. When planning a weekend activity, asking, “What do you think?” fosters independence and decision-making skills. Including their perspective empowers them to trust their judgment, strengthening their confidence in contributing to discussions and making choices.
You Handled That Well
Acknowledging positive behavior reinforces it. When your child shares toys with a sibling, saying, “I admire how you handled that,” encourages them to reflect on their kindness. Recognizing these moments boosts their self-esteem, showing that their thoughtful actions don’t go unnoticed and are deeply appreciated.
It’s Okay To Feel That Way
Validating your child’s emotions teaches them to process feelings without shame. If they’re upset after losing a game, saying, “It’s okay to feel frustrated,” helps them understand emotions are natural. This approach fosters emotional intelligence and encourages healthy ways of managing disappointment or anger.
I Love Watching You Try New Things
Praising effort over results encourages curiosity and perseverance. If your child takes up painting for the first time, saying, “I love seeing you explore new things,” shows you value their willingness to try. It’s a powerful motivator that reduces fear of failure and encourages continuous learning.
I Trust You
Expressing trust builds independence. If you say, “I trust you to walk the dog,” you’re showing faith in their responsibility. Trust reinforces their accountability and makes them feel capable. It also strengthens the bond between you, creating a safe environment for honesty and open communication.
You Are Enough
This phrase combats self-doubt and comparison. When your child feels overshadowed by a high-achieving classmate, reminding them, “You’re enough just as you are,” shifts their focus to personal strengths. This helps them embrace their unique abilities and feel secure in who they are, regardless of others.
I Enjoy Spending Time With You
Telling your child you enjoy their company fosters a strong sense of worth. If you say, “I love spending time with you” during a game or meal, it reinforces they’re valued for who they are. Backed by consistent action, this phrase strengthens your bond and their confidence.
You Can Figure This Out
Encouraging problem-solving skills builds resilience. When your child struggles with a challenging puzzle, saying, “I know you can solve this,” fosters perseverance. It reduces reliance on others and boosts their confidence once they succeed, teaching them to trust their abilities and embrace difficult tasks.